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Hey, it's Marie
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Forleo and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be if you want to create a business and
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a life that you love, and today it's Q&A Tuesday. Favorite day of the week. Today's
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Q comes from Stephanie and she writes:
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“Hello, lovely Marie. Here's a Q that’s sorely in need of an A. I'm super passionate
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about my work but I have these moments where I catch myself in the go, go, go of hustling
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and I think, "Someday I'm gonna look back and wish I hadn't ripped through my life
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with such force. I'm gonna wish I had not poured so much energy into work and had taken
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more time off." I see it so clearly in my mind, me sitting in a chair looking back over
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my life wondering where it all went. And then I go back to the ‘Go, go, go,’ of the
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hustle. How do I build a business and carry out the general craziness of life without
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every minute roaring past at the speed of light? I feel like it's binary on or off.
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Where's the happy medium? Thanks, Stephanie.”
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Stephanie, great question. So many of us can relate to this struggle and what can sometimes
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feel like we're all ripping through life to use your words. Now, there's a few things
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that have really helped me in recent years that I want to share with you today.
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Number one is meditate on the regular. Whether you've got your own practice or you'd
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like to try mine, there has been nothing more powerful in my life to combat that constant
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sense of rushing. On the rare occasions that I don't meditate, I feel like my life is speeding
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past me. I always feel like I'm, like, chasing my day and I typically feel more stressed
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out and more irritable. Now, I promise you, if you build a daily meditation or stillness
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practice, and you can start with as little as 5 minutes, you will virtually eliminate
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that ripping through life kind of feeling. Or if you catch yourself starting to slip
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into it, you're gonna be able to ease on out. Even if you change nothing else and just
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make daily meditation a habit, this one thing will help you get out of that binary on/off
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loop you seem to be caught in right now.
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Number two, rocks first, sand last. Now, you might've heard a version of this story that
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I just learned from Steven Covey. It's about a teacher who pulled out this big glass mason
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jar and he filled it full of big rocks all the way to the top. Then he asked his students
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if the jar was full and they said yes. Then he pulled out these smaller pebbles and he
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dumped them in as well and the little pebbles filled in around the rocks. And he asked his
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students if the jar was full now, and they said yes. Then he took a bag of sand and he
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dumped that into the jar and sand filled in around every little nook and cranny and he
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asked if the jar was full now. And they said yes. Then he dumped everything out and he
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started again, but this time he started with the sand and it took up so much of the jar
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that the big rocks and the pebbles couldn't even fit in.
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And the teacher said to his students, "This is your life. The big rocks are the huge,
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important things that make life worth living. And you've gotta know your big rocks and put
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them in first. Pebbles is the next group of things that matter to you and things that
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you have to do, the things that you must fit in. Then the sand is all the minutiae of life,
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the stuff that'll take up all the space if you let it. So you have to wait and put
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that in last and add it after you add in everything else." Pretty deep, right?
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Here are some of my big rocks.
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Josh, my health and well being, my family and Kuma, my team, my friends, the business,
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downtime and adventure.
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So Stephanie, what are your big rocks? What are the relationships and the experiences
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that are super, duper important to you that you want to make sure to prioritize and make
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sure you create the time for? Which brings me to my next point.
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Number three is make time off predictable and required. So in your question you wrote,
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"I'm gonna wish I hadn't poured so much energy into work and had taken more time off."
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Now, the way to make sure that you take more time off is to make sure you take time off.
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I know. I'm full of super deep wisdom in this episode.
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But seriously, in the words of a fantastic article from Harvard Business Review, you
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need to make time off predictable and required.
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So predictable meaning it is set in advance and required meaning it is non-negotiable.
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I know that sounds kind of strict for something that's supposed to be relaxing, but that's
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how you've got to be when you're addicted to work.
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See that? Salad bar, here I come. Now, once you know your big rocks you need to whip out
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your calendar and start scheduling time off to make those experiences come to life.
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I've talked about this before but it is worth mentioning again since we're about
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to close our entire company for 2 whole weeks. Time off is predictable and required for our
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entire team, including me. And honestly, this is a joy. It's something that all of us
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look forward to and no whips required.
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Number four, change your choices. So rather than thinking that you have to make this humungo
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life change, I want you to realize that you can totally transform your life one tiny change
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at a time.
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Annie Dillard wisely said, "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives."
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And the supportive flip side of that is that over time changing your day changes your life.
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So take a look at all the little moments in your day that you might be on autopilot trying
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to fit in just one more thing and realize that there are endless opportunities to change
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your choices.
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For example: ask yourself, "What can I change in my day to cherish life just a little bit
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more right now?" You might want to talk to your kids in the car instead of putting
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on a DVD, grab a book or put on some music instead of wasting time on Facebook or social
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media, go out to dinner or cook with your significant other instead of ordering in and
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watching TV, take a walk and connect with nature just for a few minutes.
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And to that I'll add, make sure you leave your phone at home or at least put it on airplane
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mode so it's not dinging in your pocket. Because FYI, this is not a nature walk.
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Now, of course, these are just a few ideas just to spark your imagination. What I want
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you to do is mentally go through your day and examine your habits and then make a list
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of just a few little choices that you can change.
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And that's what we've got for you today, Stephanie. Four ways to help you continue
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to reach for those big dreams without missing out on the sweetness of your life.
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Now I would love to hear from you. Take an inventory of your daily habits. What are 3
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changes that you could make in your daily choices that would immediately help you feel
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like you're actually truly living your life and not just ripping through it? Leave a comment
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below and let me know.
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Now, as always, the best discussions happen after the episode over at MarieForleo.com,
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so go there and leave a comment now.
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Did you like this video? If so, subscribe to our fantastic channel and I would be so
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grateful if you shared this with your friends. And if you want even more great resources
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Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special
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gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I'll catch you next time
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on MarieTV.