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  • Thank you. Thank you.

  • Beyond boundaries.

  • What a theme, huh?

  • Now, when I think of boundaries,

  • I think of rules, regulations, and restrictions.

  • And I think of the parents, and the teachers, and the supervisors,

  • who hold us accountable with regard to those boundaries.

  • That's not a bad thing.

  • Yeah, I know, if you're like me, I need supervisors,

  • I need someone holding me accountable to do the right thing.

  • But beyond boundaries is something different.

  • I think of those leaders, those teachers, those supervisors, those parents

  • who inspire us to go beyond the call of duty,

  • to do more than we have to,

  • to do it not because they tell us, but because we want to.

  • I would like to share with you

  • what the research says about how to make that happen.

  • And not just for other people, but for yourself.

  • Here is the deal, how could we inspire people and ourselves to be self-motivated?

  • There is another word. It's called "empowerment".

  • You've heard that word, right?

  • Now, the management definition of empowerment is,

  • "Get it done. Just get it done.

  • With fewer resources and less time, I empower you, make it happen."

  • I'm talking about feeling empowered.

  • That's different.

  • Feeling empowered is when you're self-motivated.

  • Now, if you want to know if you feel empowered,

  • or if your child, your student, your worker feels empowered,

  • ask them three questions.

  • If they say yes to these three questions, they will feel empowered.

  • And by the way,

  • this is not based on common sense, this is based on research.

  • But you've all been there, so it'll feel like common sense.

  • Question number one: can you do it? Albert Bandura calls it self-efficacy.

  • Do you believe you can do it?

  • Do you have the time, the knowledge, and the training

  • to do what we are asking you to do?

  • If you answer yes, good.

  • Second question: will it work?

  • Do you believe that what we're asking you to do, the process, will work?

  • Albert Bandura calls that response-efficacy:

  • believing that the behavior would lead to the ultimate outcome.

  • By the way, that takes education.

  • We have to show them the data, we might show them some theory,

  • we show them, teach them why this might work.

  • I just used the word 'education'. Earlier, I used the word 'training'.

  • Is there a difference?

  • In elementary school, we call it education.

  • Middle school: education. High school: education.

  • College: higher education. (Laughter)

  • Then you go to industry, what do you call it?

  • Training.

  • You have your training department. There must be a difference.

  • Well, you know the difference.

  • Do you want your kids to have sex education or sex training?

  • (Laughter)

  • And your kids might answer the question differently.

  • (Laughter)

  • Because you know that training means you do the behavior and you get feedback.

  • That's powerful. Powerful.

  • Have you ever heard this word 'online training'?

  • It's an oxymoron, isn't it?

  • I mean training is to watch the behavior,

  • but online training is like plastic silverware,

  • jumbo shrimp, legal brief, country music.

  • (Laughter)

  • I mean, it doesn't work.

  • OK, so if you answer yes, till it will work,

  • third question: is it worth it?

  • So we've had a training question, we've had an educational question;

  • this is the motivational question.

  • Do you believe the consequences-- This is about the consequences.

  • B.F. Skinner taught us this: "selection by consequences".

  • Dale Carnegie quoted B.F. Skinner and said

  • that from the day you were born,

  • everything you did was because you wanted something for doing it.

  • Consequences. Is it worth it?

  • So you have to convince people that it's worth it.

  • Now, by the way, if you answer yes to those three questions,

  • you feel competent, am I right?

  • You feel competent at doing worthwhile work.

  • You've all been there.

  • When you feel competent at doing worthwhile work,

  • you're more likely to be self-motivated.

  • You've been there. No one has to look over you.

  • Here is the challenge leaders, teachers.

  • How do you inspire people to feel competent?

  • Well, you give them feedback. You give them recognition.

  • You show them they are competent.

  • OK. I got one more another C word: choice.

  • Your common sense will tell you.

  • When you believe you have a sense of autonomy,

  • a sense of choice in what you're doing, you feel more self-motivated.

  • B.F. Skinner taught us that, too, in his book "Beyond Freedom and Dignity",

  • way back in 1971.

  • Reading that book changed my life,

  • because I realized that I am controlled by consequences.

  • But sometimes I don't feel controlled.

  • When I'm working for a pleasant consequence,

  • it feels good, it feels like I'm working to get something.

  • When I'm working to avoid an aversive consequence,

  • I feel controlled.

  • That is called negative reinforcement.

  • So here is a challenge, leaders:

  • how do we get people to become success seekers,

  • rather than failure avoiders?

  • First day of Introductory Psychology class

  • - I teach two classes of 600 students,

  • maybe some of you've been in that class and remember -

  • the first day I say, "How many are here to avoid failure?"

  • And 80% raise your hand.

  • I say, "Well, thanks for coming, I know you're motivated,

  • but you are not happy campers.

  • You probably told your friends,

  • 'I've got to go to class. It's a requirement.'

  • Not 'I get to go to class. It's an opportunity.'

  • You probably woke up to an alarm clock not an opportunity clock."

  • (Laughter)

  • It's all in how you see it. Really, it's all in how you see it.

  • It's your paradigm.

  • It's how you communicate to others and how you communicate to yourself.

  • So, Ellen Langer said in her book "Mindfulness",

  • - and psychologists know -

  • "When you perceive choice, you perceive motivation."

  • You're more motivated.

  • So the deal is, for yourself sit back and reflect,

  • be mindful of the choices you have.

  • And talk about being a success seeker, rather than a failure "avoider".

  • It's all how you talk, how you communicate to yourself and to others.

  • I got a fourth C word: community.

  • Powerful word.

  • Psychologists know that social support is critical.

  • People who perceive a sense of relatedness,

  • a sense of connection with other people, feel motivated, and they are happier.

  • I want to recite a poem.

  • It's called "The cookie thief" by Valerie Cox.

  • And as I recite this poem,

  • - there is only two characters, a men and a lady -

  • put yourself in the situation.

  • Be mindful, think about the situation and what you would do.

  • OK? Here we go.

  • A woman was waiting at an airport one night

  • With several [long] hours before her flight.

  • She hunted for a book in the airport shop

  • Bought a bag of cookies and found a place to drop.

  • She was engrossed in her book but happened to see

  • That the man beside her as bold as could be

  • [Grabbed] a cookie or two from the bag between

  • Which she tried to ignore to avoid a scene

  • She read, munched cookies, and watched the clock

  • As this gutsy cookie thief diminished her stock

  • She was getting more irritated as the minutes ticked by

  • Thinking, "If I wasn't so nice, I'd blacken his eye."

  • With each cookie she took, he took one too

  • When only one was left she wondered what he'd do

  • With a smile on his face and a nervous laugh

  • He took the last cookie and he broke it in half

  • (Laughter)

  • He offered her a half as he ate the other

  • She snatched it from him and thought, "Oh, brother.

  • This guy has some nerve, and he’s also rude.

  • [Why] he didn't even show any gratitude."

  • She had never known when she had been so galled

  • And sighed with relief when her flight was called

  • She gathered her belongings and headed for the gate

  • Refusing to look back at the thieving ingrate

  • She boarded the plane and sank in her seat

  • Then she sought her book which was almost complete

  • As she reached in her baggage, she gasped with surprise

  • There was her bag of cookies in front of her eyes

  • (Laughter)

  • "If mine are here," she moaned with despair

  • "Then the others were his, and he tried to share."

  • "Too late to apologize," she realized with grief

  • That she was the rude one, the ingrate, the thief.

  • So, where were you, when I was--

  • Where were you? Who's side were you on?

  • Were you thinking independent? Or interdependent?

  • I don't blame you if you think independent.

  • That's how we are raised.

  • Nice guys finish last. Squeaky wheel gets the grease.

  • Gotta blow your own horn.

  • Independent.

  • We come in this life of ours dependent of others,

  • and then we can't wait to become teenagers.

  • We are too old to do what kids do. Too young to do what adults do.

  • So that we will do that nobody else would do to assert our independence.

  • And some of us gets stuck there. We are stuck.

  • I'll do it myself. I don't need you.

  • Not good.

  • We need each other. We have to have each other's back.

  • We need a sense of community.

  • This independence culture that we got, we have to move to interdependent.

  • OK, four "C" words that can fuel self-motivation,

  • and I think can fuel actively caring for people.

  • Let me tell you a story to put it all together.

  • It happened over 60 years ago. I remember it like yesterday.

  • My parents asked me, "Hey, Scott.

  • How would you like to get drum lessons? How would you like to play the drums?"

  • Oh man! Would I ever?

  • I'm thinking of Buddy Rich and Gene Krupa.

  • Most of you guys don't know those names, but they were the drummers.

  • In those days, the drum was in front of the band.

  • They had White Pearl drum sets, and I saw it myself. That was my vision.

  • I had a vision: consequences. That was my vision.

  • And I said, "Yeah, I want to take drum lessons."

  • So the teacher would bring his drum set next to mine.

  • I didn't have a nice drum like this.

  • My parents bought me a beatable drama at an auction.

  • And they said to me, "If you get better, if your teacher tells us you get--

  • - they are holding me accountable -

  • teacher says you are getting better, we will get you a better snare drum,

  • and then a bass drum, and then some symbols."

  • And that was my vision, and that kept me going:

  • consequences.

  • So the teacher would come in, and he would show me stuff:

  • this is how--, left hand;

  • this is how Buddy Rich plays with his left hand and his right hand.

  • and then he'd do things like a flam.

  • (Drum)

  • Can you hear that at the back? You OK? And this is a rim shot.

  • (Drum)

  • He would show me stuff. I was just 10 years old, remember?

  • And when he showed me stuff, I felt, "Wow!"

  • He showed me this little simple drumbeat, "Watch me, Scott, watch this."

  • (Drum)

  • And I practiced it. And I did it. I am feeling competent.

  • He showed me a paradiddle, "Listen. (Playing drums) Paradiddle, paradiddle."

  • "You go home and practice; next week, I want to see your paradiddling.

  • I said, "Watch this."

  • (Drumming)

  • And I said, "Watch this."

  • (Drumming)

  • He said, "That's a double paradiddle. We didn't get there yet."

  • I am really ahead. (Laughter) Because I'm self-motivated.

  • I feel competent.

  • I'm walking through Newberg High School, Allentown, Pennsylvania.

  • I see the music teacher, and he says,

  • "I've heard you're learning to play the drums."

  • I said, "Yeah! I'm getting good."

  • He said, "You can march in the band. You can be the snare drummer."

  • Wow! That felt good. Another vision.

  • Then the teacher comes into my--

  • - these are private lessons, by the way, two dollars, that was a long time ago -

  • He said, "Scott! Ready to do a drum roll."

  • I said, "Of course, I'm ready for a drum roll."