Subtitles section Play video
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(loud clap)
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(playful music)
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- Who's going first?
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(playful music)
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- I'm an FBI agent, I'm actually 43 years old.
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(playful music)
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(swooshing sound effect)
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- I'm regretting choosing this secret,
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'cause it's really embarrassing.
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You're not gonna like me after.
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- You know, you share the past
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with the person that you're dating.
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- We've been off and on I guess for a while--.
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- Oh my god!
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- Will you pinky swear promise
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that you'll like me after this?
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- Hold up!
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- I guess there is a woman before my first girlfriend,
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I never told Mallory about.
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- So on one of our off periods--
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- I don't want to know any more!
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- There was a thing with someone we both know.
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- I got dared for the rest of freshman year,
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anytime that you clip your fingernails or toenails,
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put them in a mason jar.
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And it became a thing where
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(nervous laugh)
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for the rest of of the four years of college
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it was a large joke and I kept doing it!
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And I have a mason jar full of
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fingernails and toenails.
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Is that disgusting?
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Do you hate me?
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- I don't hate you, but yeah, that's straight up gross.
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- [Girl] It's disgusting.
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- You do not have it!
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- That was my first sexual occurrence was with this girl.
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And we still communicate off and on
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as a mentor, mentee kind of thing.
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- Listen! (container rattles)
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(laughs)
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- Why are you the grossest thing ever?
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- Oh my god, you pinky swear promised.
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Don't be mean.
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- Are you crying?
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- Who was it?
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- Someone whose hair color is now similar to mine.
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(dark-haired guy sighs deeply)
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(container rattles)
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- [Girl] Ohhh
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- [Guy] I almost just threw up.
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I'm not even kidding
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- [Guy] We're going to San Francisco this weekend.
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- [Girl] Yeah.
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- [Guy] And she's up there.
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And I was really thinking about
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- [Girl] Seeing her.
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- Did I have to do it for four years? No.
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(dark haired guy sighs)
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- And we all said at the end,
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whoever first gets married in our friend group
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that's their wedding gift.
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- That was it?
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- I thought you'd take that the wrong way.
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- They're brown. (laughs)
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- She sort of looks like you but not really.
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- Oh my god!
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(both laugh)
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- [Guy] Ohhhhh
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- I always felt the dynamic was so good.
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(both laugh)
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Now I know why!
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- Where do you keep it?
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- Under my bed.
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- That's even worse.
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- That's disturbing.
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- I know, but that's what happened, so--
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- You're so weird.
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- You know what, I'm glad you told me that.
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(playful music)
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There's more?!
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- There's more to my secret
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and it's that the secret's a lie.
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This isn't toenails, Zachary Evans.
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- [Guy] It was sort of made up. (laughs)
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To get a reaction out of you.
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- [Girl] (laughs) What?!
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- (clapping on each word) Oh. My. God.
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Is that the whole thing of this thing?
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- Yeah.
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- Son of a bitch!
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- Thank god you're kidding!
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- I know.
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- Coulda thought of a better one, I guess.
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- Yeah, that was lame. - Yeah.
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- She was staight up crying.
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- My eyes teared up, oh my gosh.
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- You saw that. What the?
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- That was so weird.
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- I just did--
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- You knew about this?
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- I'm kind of dissapointed in your--
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- I know
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- In your imagination.
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- That just showed your acting chops.
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- Thanks, you think I'm talented?
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- Yeah.
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- Thanks.
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- I love you.
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- I love you.
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(playful music)
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- I'm disappointed.
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Thanks guys.
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- Get a different boyfriend next time.
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(both laugh)
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- There might be one.
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- Stay tuned!
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- You date Toenail Girl, huh?
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Yeah, she's pretty,
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but she's crazy for keeping toenails.
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Yeah, I know!
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(girl laughs loudly)
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I just found out the same time you did.
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- I love you.