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  • Governor Mike Huckabee, how was your summer?

  • It was dope

  • Like your pretty gelled head

  • Thank you

  • I'm getting it permed

  • Hey, all you freaks are bozos

  • But who's this Mindy?

  • Oh, an old friend actually, she's great

  • Okay, you HAVE to be joking

  • She pooped on the treadmill!

  • Oooh

  • Oh yeah, that's her

  • Governor Christie

  • When you were younger, what was your favorite childhood snack?

  • I wanted, you know, I just wanted regular potatoes

  • But guess what, so did other people

  • I wanted it the most, so I'm like "I want it the most"

  • You just froze a baby!

  • You just froze a baby.

  • I did not!

  • GENITAL WARTS!

  • You touched a genital wart

  • and you can't touch it!

  • Wait, hey, guys, guys, hey

  • All right, enough

  • You're a wart toucher

  • Stop saying that!

  • Mr. Trump.

  • Well, I have a pigeon - Lucas Don Velour.

  • I always take it shopping because I want to and because it's got health.

  • [stomach rumbling]

  • Whatever, look - it's a thing the tuna melt does to me.

  • Uhh, Senator Cruz -

  • You shouldn't say the "S-Word"

  • What

  • Well, we could just go out and collect a dead swan

  • And then I - well I will drink a sorority's goldfish.

  • Uh, moving on, let's hear from Dr. Carson.

  • Now, this piece, I think it goes like that

  • And then this one...

  • No, this piece goes over here.

  • It's part of the tree

  • Carson

  • AHHHH ahhh ahh!

  • Umm, see, umm

  • What you working on?

  • A puzzle, umm

  • I don't know how to do this actually

  • Hey, we can move one, and you're not missing any playtime.

  • America.

  • Governor Bush

  • What

  • How would you get a dead mouse on crescent roll with some steak?

  • With some steak I would fork it

  • However, if a pittbull is loose in your house

  • then you'll find me stiff on the bed, 'cause I always throw up.

  • You'll have thirteen seconds to make a closing statement in the form of a short song.

  • And Governor Christie, you're first.

  • Well, think about the time we bought you and ice-cream and a cookie

  • Rented that Lambo so we could go buy milk when we played hooky

  • That was our ride, we rode it around

  • Yeah mama, it was good

  • Till we hit that boy in the pink golf shirt

  • with the pepper-spray tan and he laid down on the concrete.

  • Senator Ted Cruz

  • Rabies and bunnies, let me think about it for a second over here

  • Hmm, first thing I need are

  • two sticks and an I.V. and

  • Then I can just dance in my

  • little paper hat you bought me.

  • That's weird!

  • Mmm-hmmm

  • Senator Marco Rubio!

  • My father was a bald tiger (yes he was)

  • And he took the bad guy walking in the sunshine

  • The pig intestine's about to drip

  • Me I just like to pound the shrimp

  • I own a parrot that doesn't drink.

  • Uh, Governor Kasich, how about you?

  • If Britain invaded us,

  • you'd get a fancy mouth and you'd

  • drink on the job

  • every day, oh no

  • We could give 'em cheese

  • Or we could give 'em Christmas pants

  • Mr. Trump, closing statement song

  • I took Johnny's pogo

  • kid, I pogo greater

  • They got five of the meaner reindeers still sitting there waiting

  • We have a big bird walking in the jungle crying in a tree

  • Scoobidy dee, listen to me

  • Don't go around the tuna.

  • Governor Scott Walker

  • I might have a whiff, a whiff

  • Yeah hoo-dee-doo

  • Why are dormant wives adorable?

  • I might even have a piece of corn and

  • I'm gonna make a fortune

  • Yeah, this beat's got me so baller now

  • That's right, see I can flow.

  • And now, Dr. Carson

  • [laughing]

  • Not ready....

  • Ohhh, here we go

  • I see one wittle wee-wee

  • Yeah, every mouse has a weenie

  • And if we could catch a little mouse man

  • then we could see some little feet too.

  • Thank you

  • I see one wittle wee-wee

  • Yeah, every mouse has a weenie (in America!)

  • And if we could catch a little mouse man

  • then we could see some little feet too.

  • (Little Mousey Feet!)

  • I see one wittle wee-wee

  • Yeah, every mouse has a weenie

  • And if we could catch a little mouse man

  • then we could see some little feet too.

  • IN AMERICA!

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B2 UK wee governor mouse carson senator pogo

"FIRST REPUBLICAN DEBATE HIGHLIGHTS: 2015" — A Bad Lip Reading of The Republican Debate

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    posted on 2015/10/10
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