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  • In conclusion, everybody should live by themselves

  • because you don't need anybody else to make yourself happy.

  • (upbeat music)

  • Hey everyone, my name is Matt Bellassai

  • and this is Whine About It a weekly video series

  • where I get drunk at my desk and complain about stuff.

  • On this week's episode The Worst Types of Roommates.

  • Let's drink.

  • (upbeat music)

  • Mmm, that's not too bad.

  • Okay, all right, first of all there's always that one

  • roomate who never takes out the garbage.

  • You think this is some kind of game?

  • You think this is some kind of garbage game?

  • where if you pile your tower of shame tall enough

  • a little garbage fairy will come and take all your garbage away,

  • little garbage fairy will just come

  • and gobble up your garbage?

  • Guess what, the garbage fairy it's me,

  • it's me who's the garbage fairy.

  • I take out all the (bleep) garbage all the time,

  • and that's why I use your toothbrush to scrub the toilet

  • and I get in there deep.

  • Then, there's that roommate she's always in there

  • with her boyfriend and they're just bumping uglies

  • way too loud all the time.

  • Congrats on all the sex you're having, I'm so happy for you

  • but if I have to hear you shouting the lyrics

  • to Ave Maria while you're in there stirring your potato salad

  • while I'm trying to watch The Real Housewives

  • I'm gonna spit in your box of Special K with Red Berries,

  • again, I'm gonna spit right in it.

  • You know that sound that it makes when you stir up

  • a cold potato salad?

  • That's the sound it makes, like two wet slugs just rammin'.

  • Then, there's the one roommate who thinks it's okay

  • to eat my food right out of the fridge,

  • like I'm not even gonna notice.

  • If you think for a second that I don't count every stick

  • of the sweet potato fries that are in the fridge

  • you're out of your (bleep) damn mind.

  • Food is like my children.

  • Food is like my babies.

  • You think it's okay to just come into my fridge

  • and eat my babies, eat up all my little babies?

  • Every time someone eats my food

  • I reserve the right to punch 'em right in the kidney,

  • It's in the Constitution, look it up.

  • That's what our Founding Fathers said.

  • They didn't even have two kidneys then,

  • all of them only had one.

  • Benjamin Franklin, one kidney.

  • That's why it was so important to them.

  • Then, there's that one roomate

  • who just never does the dishes.

  • They just let 'em pile up in a whole wet, crusty mess.

  • "Oh, I forgot," that's what they say.

  • "Oh, I just forgot to do the dishes."

  • Oh, you just forgot for three months straight

  • while that family of squirrels moved in under that pot

  • that couldn't scrub for 20 seconds.

  • Maybe I'll just forget not to tell everbody about that thing

  • I saw you doing in the bathroom with the bottle of mustard.

  • What if I just didn't forget that, is that what you want?

  • Is that what you want?

  • You want me to just not forget that and tell everybody

  • about the bottle of mustard?

  • Also, why are the so many (bleep) damn pubes

  • on your bar of soap?

  • What are you doing down there?

  • What are you doing to yourself?

  • Show some respect.

  • I don't even know how you use that soap to get clean.

  • That looks like an angry hedgehog.

  • It's just in there growling back at me,

  • it's looking me right in the face

  • with its two furry little eyes, furrowing it's pubey brow.

  • Also, roommates who terrorize my Netflix suggestions

  • 'cause they go in there and they watch all their shitty

  • dumb shows.

  • It's all garbage is what they watch.

  • And, I'm getting suggestions for some crime watching goat detective mystery

  • all because you watched 30 seconds

  • of some shit on my Netflix account.

  • I don't want that, I don't want that on my Netflix account.

  • Also, any roommate who deletes a single second off of my DVR.

  • My DVR is like a sandwich.

  • I picked out all the meats, and all cheeses,

  • and all the breads and it's like you came in here

  • you just took a big, old pee right on it.

  • You peed on my sandwich, my DVR sandwich.

  • That's why everyone should live by themselves,

  • no roommates.

  • Okay, okay, okay?

  • All right everybody, thank you for watching this week.

  • As always, you can find our videos every week

  • on WhineAboutIt.tumblr.com, on my Facebook page

  • which is Facebook.com/BuzzFeedMatt.

  • That's it, that's everything.

  • (upbeat music)

  • Everyone's always like, "Matt, what do you do at work when you're done?"

  • Nothing.

In conclusion, everybody should live by themselves

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The Worst Types Of Roommates: Whine About It Ep. 21

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    Pi-Chien Hu posted on 2015/10/11
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