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Everyone, please think
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of your biggest personal goal.
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For real -- you can take a second. You've got to feel this to learn it.
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Take a few seconds and think of your personal biggest goal, okay?
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Imagine deciding right now
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that you're going to do it.
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Imagine telling someone that you meet today what you're going to do.
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Imagine their congratulations
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and their high image of you.
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Doesn't it feel good to say it out loud?
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Don't you feel one step closer already,
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like it's already becoming part of your identity?
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Well, bad news: you should have kept your mouth shut,
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because that good feeling
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now will make you less likely to do it.
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Repeated psychology tests have proven
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that telling someone your goal
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makes it less likely to happen.
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Any time you have a goal,
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there are some steps that need to be done, some work that needs to be done
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in order to achieve it.
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Ideally, you would not be satisfied until you had actually done the work.
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But when you tell someone your goal and they acknowledge it,
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psychologists have found that it's called a "social reality."
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The mind is kind of tricked into feeling that it's already done.
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And then, because you felt that satisfaction,
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you're less motivated to do
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the actual hard work necessary. (Laughter)
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So this goes against the conventional wisdom
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that we should tell our friends our goals, right --
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so they hold us to it.
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So, let's look at the proof.
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1926, Kurt Lewin, founder of social psychology,
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called this "substitution."
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1933, Vera Mahler found,
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when it was acknowledged by others, it felt real in the mind.
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1982, Peter Gollwitzer wrote a whole book about this
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and in 2009,
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he did some new tests that were published.
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It goes like this:
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163 people across four separate tests --
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everyone wrote down their personal goal.
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Then half of them announced their commitment to this goal to the room,
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and half didn't.
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Then everyone was given 45 minutes of work
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that would directly lead them towards their goal,
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but they were told that they could stop at any time.
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Now, those who kept their mouths shut
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worked the entire 45 minutes, on average,
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and when asked afterwards,
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said that they felt that they had A long way to go still to achieve their goal.
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But those who had announced it
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quit after only 33 minutes, on average,
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and when asked afterwards,
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said that they felt much closer to achieving their goal.
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So, if this is true,
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what can we do?
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Well, you could resist the temptation
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to announce your goal.
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You can delay the gratification
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that the social acknowledgement brings,
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and you can understand that your mind
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mistakes the talking for the doing.
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But if you do need to talk about something,
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you can state it in a way
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that gives you no satisfaction,
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such as, "I really want to run this marathon,
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so I need to train five times a week
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and kick my ass if I don't, okay?"
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So audience, next time you're tempted to tell someone your goal,
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what will you say? (Silence)
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Exactly, well done.
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(Applause)