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  • Siri is a device on my phone that activates all the time and I don't want it to.

  • I don't have Siri because I have an iPhone 4.

  • Me and Siri have never met.

  • Siri and I just started hanging out like a week ago, and she's the best.

  • How do I even do it?

  • I just hold it down?

  • What is zero divided by zero?

  • Imagine that you have zero cookies and you split them evenly among zero friends; how many cookies does each person get?

  • See it doesn't make sense, and Cookie Monster is sad that there are no cookies, and you are sad that you have no friends.

  • F**k you Siri!

  • That's pretty good. That's pretty clever.

  • Why are fire trucks red?

  • What?

  • Because they have eight wheels and four people on them and four plus eight is 12.

  • And there are 12 inches in a foot, and one foot is a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler, and Queen Elizabeth was also a ship.

  • Siri is messing with me.

  • And the ship sailed the seas, and in the seas are fish, and fish have fins.

  • The Finns fought the Russians.

  • And the Russians are red, and fire trucks are always "russian" around.

  • Oh my god!

  • I feel like this is some sort of cruel trick.

  • That was like a really long dad joke.

  • Does Santa Claus exist?

  • Let's just say I'm not the only one who knows if you've been good or bad.

  • I'm going to pretend you didn't ask that.

  • I don't want you to get a lump of coal this year.

  • See, look, she's not even sassing me, she's just looking out for me.

  • Well those cookies don't eat themselves.

  • Oh!

  • What does the fox say?

  • Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow!

  • (laughter) I'd take Siri to karaoke with me.

  • I saw that video and I was like, this is the only thing I've ever found funny.

  • She's got spunk. She's got character.

  • Is it weird to say that I liked it when she sassed me?

  • I don't like to be sassed by my friends.

  • I don't need to be sassed by my phone.

  • Will you marry me?

  • My end user licensing agreement does not cover marriage, my apologies.

  • That makes me sad.

  • I'm sorry.

  • She's cold.

Siri is a device on my phone that activates all the time and I don't want it to.

Subtitles and keywords

A2 BEG US siri pa voiceover pa pa sad ruler

4 Things You Need To Ask Siri

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    Yvonne   posted on 2020/10/23
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