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  • I stopped watching porn for two reasons basically.

  • The first one was that

  • porn brought so much anger and violence into my private fantasies.

  • And these were anger and violence that were not there originally to begin with.

  • And I did not want it for me anymore.

  • This was not me and, I decided to just put an end to it.

  • Easier said than done... I got it later, but...

  • The second reason was that I became to realize...

  • I came to realize that only by watching porn

  • I take part in creating a demand for filmed prostitution

  • because that's what porn really is: filmed prostitution.

  • "Pornē" stands for prostitute, "graphia" stands for documentation.

  • Prostitution was nobody's childhood dream,

  • it is always a result of trouble and distress.

  • Now, I became aware of that gradually, when I was volunteering

  • with men and women in prostitution, some of them victims of human traffic,

  • serving aid in brothels, under the bridge and street corners.

  • But you don't really need to do all that in order to understand

  • how this mechanism of porn and prostitution works.

  • Because porn is a genre - it's not about erotica or healthy sexual communication.

  • It's all about male domination of women, subordinance of women.

  • Not only the sexual practice, but as a way of being,

  • as a genderial hierarchy in this world.

  • If we would ask porn,

  • how does it define something as sexual?

  • What qualifies, what defines something as sexual?

  • Porn would laugh in our face.

  • What defines sexual? Whatever men find arousing...

  • Men find it arousing to choke a woman?

  • To have a brutal sex without one touch, hug, kiss, tender caress?

  • Well then it is sexual.

  • It arouses men to see a woman or child cry?

  • It is sexual.

  • It arouses men to rape a woman, well, then it is sexual.

  • In every mainstream porn gallery on the web,

  • we can find the rape category side by side with the humiliation category,

  • abuse category, crime category and so on.

  • And this is all as if this regular porn is not already filled with these motives.

  • Even in its mildest version, the mildest version of porn,

  • what porn is showing us like, I know, 80%, maybe 90% of the time

  • is actually sex with no hands involved. This is not how we authentically desire...

  • Sorry, I'll repeat that, I see your look. Sex with no hands involved... okay.

  • If you and I are not going to give up watching porn

  • the next thing you do watch just you just notice that

  • porn cameras have no interest in capturing

  • any normal sensual activities such as petting, caressing,

  • making out, touching, hugging, kissing... No...

  • What porn cameras are into is the penetration.

  • So normally the composition will be a man and a woman,

  • hopefully just one, okay... so, one man and one woman...

  • His penis is inside her.

  • It doesn't matter where inside. Somewhere inside.

  • His penis is somewhere inside her, okay?

  • And in order not to block the camera

  • for doing this extreme close up on the penetration,

  • he's standing with his hands behind his back most of the time.

  • And the woman is in this... uncomfortable position

  • and she needs to handle the penis inside her

  • without damaging the hair or make up or look down on her

  • because that's money invested and time invested in her.

  • Without disturbing his aggressive movement and mainly without blocking the cameras.

  • So the result is that we got two people having sex

  • different shapes and acrobatics or something... but they're having sex

  • when the only body parts that actually touch each other

  • are the penis and the part being penetrated.

  • No hands involved.

  • I talked, I don't know, 250-300 times a year, soldiers, students, pupils...

  • No one has ever come up to me and say

  • "Ran, you know that part with sex with no hands thing

  • that was my authentic desire, like when I was 11 or 12

  • I never wanted to kiss or touch anybody.

  • I was not curious about that. It was all the penetration to begin with."

  • No one has ever said that... -- before porn.

  • After porn...

  • In my private fantasies before watching porn,

  • there was always a very strong narrative

  • and the narrative was of sensuality and mutuality.

  • Which means that I always imagined what I would say to her?

  • What would she possibly answer?

  • What options do I have to respond?

  • In real life it never worked like I planned,

  • but it was important in my mind in term of arousal

  • the build up, the location, the setting, where will it be?

  • What are the circumstances of me and her being all alone all of a sudden.

  • How will this bodily inflaming between us will emerge step by step?

  • It was super important ...before porn.

  • After making a habit out of porn...

  • it conquers your mind and it invades your brain.

  • And I lost my ability to imagine.

  • Which mean I found myself... and I won't be too explicit,

  • but trying to masturbate, just closing my eyes

  • trying to fantasize desperately about something human

  • and not making it because my head was bombarded

  • with all of those images of women being violated and subordinated

  • and forced into pretending they enjoyed diabolic sperm rituals.

  • So, this is pretty much the result.

  • We are all vulnerable to pornography. It's not just young people...

  • We should be very careful.

  • Not only what we put into our bodies in term of food and nutrition...

  • But with the nutrition of our mind.

  • Everything we watch invades us.

  • I'll give you a short example from non-sexual areas.

  • I came the other night, I came back home

  • and my beloved one was watching some cultural junk.

  • She was watching a karaoke show audition, the one with chairs spinning.

  • We don't have a TV set back home,

  • but only because it allows us to falsely present ourselves

  • as deep and profound people. (laughter)

  • I've never heard of that.

  • Mastectomy who? Angelina? No, we don't have a TV.

  • We watch every cultural junk possible, okay?

  • Neither me, nor her, contemplate about existence.

  • We download stuff. And we download all cultural junk.

  • I am watching this 20 minutes karaoke show.

  • And it was so boring and tedious.

  • Two minutes talking, four minutes blabbering.

  • I lost patience after 20 minutes and I went off to take a shower

  • and the most interesting part was in the shower.

  • Because what I found out there was myself in most pathetic state ever...

  • I'm going to share it with you.

  • I want to feel that you accept and love me,

  • so I will share my most pathetic moment and you have to accept it now.

  • I don't know until I got over myself if it took me five, seven, ten minutes

  • to realize that I am standing under the water in the shower

  • pondering severely what would've been my song for the auditions?

  • Deep and profound, mind you!

  • I won't be doing this Rihanna or Lady Gaga's.

  • I will be doing Mercedes Sosa's Como Unjaro Libre.

  • I'll be doing a cover for Bob Dylan's Blind Willie McTell.

  • Ain't that deep and profound?

  • I had to realize that I'm an idiot because I have no talent for music.

  • More than that, I never wanted to be

  • neither a musician nor a singer or songwriter.

  • This was never a part of my inner world of wishes, okay?

  • But I'm a human being. What can I do?

  • I was watching that for 20 minutes It entered my brain for a while.

  • So if we take this example we can try to estimate

  • the impact of 20 minutes of watching no matter what,

  • how it invades our mind and conquers our wantings and desires.

  • Let's just try to imagine or I can share it with you orally

  • what is the impact of 20 minutes of watching porn

  • once or twice a week, nothing unmoderated.

  • It's overtaking.

  • And porn is in our household, whether we want it or not

  • and I believe that it does not agree with our well being.

  • Because we have internet

  • in the western world all over the place almost in every cellular phone now

  • we've got 90% of 12 year-olds watching porn on a regular basis.

  • And it has both an addictive effect and a paralyzing effect.

  • It's addictive, because it develops somewhat of a dependency on porn.

  • And paralyzing because, mainly for young boys and men,

  • porn is teaching us that as a man you are solely valued in sex

  • by having a large penis and an eternal erection.

  • According to porn, being a valuable sexual partner

  • does not relate with being sensual, passionate, attentive,

  • generous, well-coordinated. None of the above.

  • It is all about large penis and eternal sunshine,

  • which we don't possess.

  • So boys become paralyzed.

  • And if they don't become paralyzed by watching porn

  • very often they turn into imitators of what they saw,

  • which then means they become aggressors.

  • Aggressors, even when emotion is involved.

  • There is so much sexual abuse going on nowadays

  • within the confines of what we perceive from the outside

  • as beautiful teenage love stories, or healthy adult relationships.

  • Because we don't really talk about sex

  • we just see it all over, we don't really talk about it.

  • So, what goes on in the confines of a certain room

  • but these are all sexual mutations that happen.

  • If we talk about women, it's not only that,

  • but young girls even get the message not only from hardcore porn

  • but from a porn influenced main stream culture.

  • Have you seen any Miley Cirus, Lady Gaga video clips or commercials?

  • That's porn with clothes on.

  • So girls get this notion that if you want to be worthy of love

  • first and foremost you have to be worthy of sexual desire.

  • And now, the definition of sexual desire almost equals: be like a porn star.

  • So I work in dozens and dozens of high schools and junior highs.

  • In every single one of these schools I find girls

  • that at a certain point agreed to be documentedin an intimate situation

  • because they wanted to please some guy that they had feelings for.

  • And this guy misappropriated their trust. Always the same story.

  • So he sells it on WhatsApp application or on the web, on the internet.

  • And normally nobody even addresses him in terms of moral.

  • But it is always girls that suffer from shaming and mortification.

  • They can change the school... they drop out normally.

  • They can move to another city and still be haunted on social networks.

  • They develop clinical depressions, severe eating disorders,

  • as if we don't have enough reasons in our culture to develop eating disorders.

  • They become so isolated socially.

  • So some of them - like Amanda Todd, rest in peace... -

  • some of them actually commit suicide.

  • Because they find no more value in life or in themselves.

  • So, porn is not only in our house. It is a capital case.

  • It is not a minor phenomenon in our society.

  • It is a question of life and death sometimes.

  • It is mainly a question of life and death for the people who participate in porn,

  • because porn is not an embodiment of freedom of speech,

  • freedom of occupation, blah-blah... No. It's an embodiment of sex-exploitation,

  • working side-by-side with human traffic raping, pimping, solicitation.

  • For every one porn star with a book contract

  • or a production company,

  • we've got hundreds of thousands of women and girls

  • who do not survive out there. Literally, they just don't make it.

  • The sex industry just chews them up and spits them back

  • into brothels, into hooking in the street,

  • escorting, massage parlors with happy or unhappy ending

  • depends who you ask. And I am not joking.

  • This is the whole spectrum of prostitution.

  • So many of them do not even make it to the age of 50.

  • I am talking about countries that the life expectancy

  • is at 75, 76 years now.

  • They don't make it to the age of 50. 4 reasons mainly.

  • Drugs, STD - Sexually Transmitted Diseases

  • being murdered by a john, a pimp, a boyfriend

  • and the fourth reason is suicide once again.

  • Because if you are a prostitute, on camera or off camera,

  • you are in the situation that we can refer to as social death.

  • We have all sat on the dinner table

  • with people who probably consumed prostitution

  • that have been to a brothel once, twice at least.

  • We never sit down to the table with a prostitute.

  • Not with a declared one. So that's social death.

  • It is not glamorous. Not at all.

  • And when I sit in the privacy of my room and watch porn, even without paying...

  • No need to pay, it's free.

  • I hope you know that, if you're still consuming...

  • Whatever I am watching is creating a demand.

  • And wherever there is a demand, there will be a supply.

  • There is a correlation.

  • If I watch pornography of black, older women,

  • somebody is going to go out and pimp black older women.

  • Asian minors? Somebody is already trafficking Asian minors

  • in order to film them.

  • Israeli women, Palestinian women WASP, all American college girls.

  • It's a strong in the last few years it's a very upcoming category.

  • The scum of the Earth are already out there

  • trying to solicit and prostitute these women on camera.