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Does absence make the heart grow fonder?
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New science says dating long-distance might make a better relationship.
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Hey distance daters, welcome to "D News."
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Trace here with the science lowdown on the dreaded long-distance relationship, or LDR.
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Three million Americans are part of an LDR.
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25% to 50% of college students are currently in one right now.
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Of the non-college group,
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reasons could be military deployment, work preferences or requirements, internet dating, and even immigration and visa delays.
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The internet helps us feel closer, even when we're far apart.
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So long-distance relationships are growing in popularity.
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Technology like text messaging, instant messaging, video chat,
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they all help us feel the sense of inclusion and intimacy
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that we wouldn't have been able to get only 10 or 15 years ago.
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The research from 2010 says
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romance does kind of require face to face interaction.
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Newer research, that's saying the opposite.
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A study in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy says,
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those in long-distance relationships might actually be better at dating.
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Researchers recruited people in close-by and long-distance relationships,
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who filled out a series of questionnaires
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tackling their intimacy, their commitment, their communication, psychological distress, and sexual satisfaction, or lack thereof.
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Those in an LDR also indicated how often that they got to see each other.
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Though both groups were doing well,
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the LDR couples were better functioning couples,
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reporting higher levels of satisfaction, intimacy, and communication.
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The close-by couples win in the area of getting laid more.
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Basically, LDR couples have to replace their physical closeness with emotional closeness.
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While the close-by couples were overlooking some of their problems,
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the long-distance couples,
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they were forced to sort them out.
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A piece in Pacific Magazine puts it this way.
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"Long-distance couples are arguably better at discussing sex,
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and those who live nearby actually have more sex."
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A separate study this year in the Journal of Communication tipped the scales even farther toward long-distance couples,
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indicating that they form even deeper bonds than their nearby neighbors
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because of all of that sharing.
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Something those of us who are very familiar with the long-distance thing,
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as my friends call it, know very well.
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Because, you know, you're just always talking.
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You're just talking and talking, and there's more talking
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and some talking and talking.
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In the end, all this communication leads to a greater sense of mental intimacy,
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which is great, if lonely.
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Psychotherapist and author, Rachel Sussman, points out
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the loneliness factor isn't really considered much in this research,
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but it can be really stressful for people,
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which is a good point.
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Also, they don't really consider the jealousy factor.
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If you're a jealous person with a high level of FOMO,
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things could go sour, fast.
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"Lifehacker" has a couple of helpful tips
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to make LDR last, like make date nights,
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where you video chat, eat dinner, watch a movie,
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text things like "wish you were here" to alleviate jealousy.
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And when you talk, be present.
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Non-verbal cues are really important.
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Most importantly, have an end date.
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If there is no end to the tunnel, then there's no light to look forward to. Right? Right?
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What if some of the most famous relationships were LDRs?
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I wonder how like, Mary Todd Lincoln
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would have tolerated Abe's brutal honesty?
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The word "independence" may have no A's in it.
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The declaration may have no holes.
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But when you look at the people who signed it,
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there are a lot of a-holes.
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That guy just does not hold back.
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Anyway, be sure to check out brutally honest Abe
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for more of his delightful truth bombs.
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And tell us your thoughts about the long-distance thing in the comments area below.
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And as always, subscribe for more "D News" every day.
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Thanks for watching.