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  • Does absence make the heart grow fonder?

  • New science says dating long-distance might make a better relationship.

  • Hey distance daters, welcome to "D News."

  • Trace here with the science lowdown on the dreaded long-distance relationship, or LDR.

  • Three million Americans are part of an LDR.

  • 25% to 50% of college students are currently in one right now.

  • Of the non-college group,

  • reasons could be military deployment, work preferences or requirements, internet dating, and even immigration and visa delays.

  • The internet helps us feel closer, even when we're far apart.

  • So long-distance relationships are growing in popularity.

  • Technology like text messaging, instant messaging, video chat,

  • they all help us feel the sense of inclusion and intimacy

  • that we wouldn't have been able to get only 10 or 15 years ago.

  • The research from 2010 says

  • romance does kind of require face to face interaction.

  • Newer research, that's saying the opposite.

  • A study in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy says,

  • those in long-distance relationships might actually be better at dating.

  • Researchers recruited people in close-by and long-distance relationships,

  • who filled out a series of questionnaires

  • tackling their intimacy, their commitment, their communication, psychological distress, and sexual satisfaction, or lack thereof.

  • Those in an LDR also indicated how often that they got to see each other.

  • Though both groups were doing well,

  • the LDR couples were better functioning couples,

  • reporting higher levels of satisfaction, intimacy, and communication.

  • The close-by couples win in the area of getting laid more.

  • Basically, LDR couples have to replace their physical closeness with emotional closeness.

  • While the close-by couples were overlooking some of their problems,

  • the long-distance couples,

  • they were forced to sort them out.

  • A piece in Pacific Magazine puts it this way.

  • "Long-distance couples are arguably better at discussing sex,

  • and those who live nearby actually have more sex."

  • A separate study this year in the Journal of Communication tipped the scales even farther toward long-distance couples,

  • indicating that they form even deeper bonds than their nearby neighbors

  • because of all of that sharing.

  • Something those of us who are very familiar with the long-distance thing,

  • as my friends call it, know very well.

  • Because, you know, you're just always talking.

  • You're just talking and talking, and there's more talking

  • and some talking and talking.

  • In the end, all this communication leads to a greater sense of mental intimacy,

  • which is great, if lonely.

  • Psychotherapist and author, Rachel Sussman, points out

  • the loneliness factor isn't really considered much in this research,

  • but it can be really stressful for people,

  • which is a good point.

  • Also, they don't really consider the jealousy factor.

  • If you're a jealous person with a high level of FOMO,

  • things could go sour, fast.

  • "Lifehacker" has a couple of helpful tips

  • to make LDR last, like make date nights,

  • where you video chat, eat dinner, watch a movie,

  • text things like "wish you were here" to alleviate jealousy.

  • And when you talk, be present.

  • Non-verbal cues are really important.

  • Most importantly, have an end date.

  • If there is no end to the tunnel, then there's no light to look forward to. Right? Right?

  • What if some of the most famous relationships were LDRs?

  • I wonder how like, Mary Todd Lincoln

  • would have tolerated Abe's brutal honesty?

  • The word "independence" may have no A's in it.

  • The declaration may have no holes.

  • But when you look at the people who signed it,

  • there are a lot of a-holes.

  • That guy just does not hold back.

  • Anyway, be sure to check out brutally honest Abe

  • for more of his delightful truth bombs.

  • And tell us your thoughts about the long-distance thing in the comments area below.

  • And as always, subscribe for more "D News" every day.

  • Thanks for watching.

Does absence make the heart grow fonder?

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Long-Distance Relationships Might Be Better

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    羅紹桀 posted on 2018/01/17
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