Subtitles section Play video
-
So a couple weeks ago Chris and I went to San Francisco to shoot some videos.
-
While we were there however we managed to stumble across a Future Toilet.
-
I had a great time using the Future Toilet.
-
I used the Future Toilet and it was a nightmare.
-
2 guys try a bidet for the frist time
-
But it's a toilet that has a bidet built in
-
and also other features.
-
I'm excited.
-
I've never used a Future Toilet.
-
This is big for me.
-
And Keith is infectious.
-
You know his enthusiasm made me go,
-
"You know I don't have to poop,
-
but I want to try the Future Toilet."
-
So of course I pull out my cell phone.
-
But now I had to use the bathroom.
-
I actually really had to use the bathroom.
-
And then awesome.
-
I'm done using the bathroom.
-
Now the fun begins.
-
Oooh (laugh).
-
All right, I see.
-
This is great.
-
So it's like okay, I get it, but I want more.
-
You know, so I upped the pressure a little bit.
-
I can go max pressure.
-
I'm like full blast.
-
This is great.
-
This is amazing, I feel so clean.
-
So Keith probably told a story about how he warmed it up and tried to like figure things out.
-
I just sat down and was ready to go.
-
Once again, I did not have to poop.
-
Max pressure so I guess I just start it at max pressure.
-
Ummm, oh God. Oh my God.
-
Ahh.
-
I feel so clean.
-
Oh my God.
-
I feel so clean.
-
I think this thing goes forever.
-
Bzzzzz, and so it goes like bzzzz.
-
And it's like oh, it doesn't stop on its own.
-
It will just keep going unless you stop it.
-
So I'm sitting there with just water
-
shooting out my empty (beep) hole.
-
Um, not cleaning anything off of it,
-
just penetrating me with water.
-
Now here's the good part.
-
I turn the bidet off and I'm like well, okay,
-
I guess I just got shot in the (beep) with some water.
-
I guess that was supposed to be relaxing.
-
Huh, I guess I have to poop now.
-
But of course I had to poop
-
because I essentially had a water balloon in my (beep) hole.
-
So I start pooping and it's just a waterfall,
-
just water just comes out of my butt
-
and then poop follows it.
-
It's not really diarrhea.
-
It's just like poop paste like and it's like everywhere.
-
I feel clean. I feel refreshed.
-
And I don't even know what part of me
-
isn't full of poop anymore.
-
Overall for me I had a great time using the Future Toilet.
-
I felt alone and with a machine.
-
Oddly, slightly aroused and I don't know
-
if that's a bidet feature but that's just what was going on!
-
I'm like I've got to go.
-
I don't even know what just happened.
-
I feel violated.
-
It was a great experience.
-
I think if I had the option I would use it all the time.
-
It's like traumatizing to me,
-
but Keith thinks it's really funny
-
so he set up lights and a background
-
for us to talk to a camera about this story.
-
And it's really just about how terrible my experience was.
-
I don't really want this to go on the internet.
-
I've like lost track of what is
-
and what isn't private anymore.
-
I work at BuzzFeed (laugh).