Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles - Nicole Kidman was on the show. Did you see that? I mean, so Nicole Kidman-- turns out she thought she was going on a date with you. - [laughs] Yeah, no. This is honestly another thing-- I--I'm really embarrassed about this. So--but this is like therapy, so this is--feels good. I can talk to you guys about this. - Good. - I had Nicole Kidman-- my friend called me and said, "Dude, what are you doing?" I go, "I'm walking home." - How long ago was this? Before you were married, obviously. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This was 2002, I'm gonna say? Right before I met my wife in 2004. So, 2002, I'm single, but I don't think about this remotely as my chances of date-- so I think she was named "Most Beautiful Person" that year. So this is beyond my-- so, anyway, my friend called and says, "I have Nicole Kidman with me. She wants to meet you, and I think it's about a movie." "Bewitched," she was about to make. And I go, "Oh, yeah." Well, she ended up making it with Will Ferrell, and it was great and whatever. So I go, "Okay, great. Well, where do you want to meet?" He goes, "We'll come to your apartment." I go, "Oh, my God, you're gonna bring Nicole Kidman to my apartment?" Like, this is-- "Uh, okay, uh, what do I--what do I put out? I don't know what to do." So my friend goes, "Go get some cheese and crackers." I go, "Cheese and crackers?" I mean, like, I'm seriously living the bachelor life. I have sneakers and video games all over my house. I don't know what's going on, so I go, "What--what kind of cheese?" I'm walking into a deli. He goes, "Some Brie or something." I go, "What is Brie cheese? I don't even know what that is." So I go-- he goes, "I got to go." So I'm going, and I go, "Do you have Brie cheese?" I really don't know what it is. So I get a thing of-- I go to this aisle, I get Brie cheese and saltine crackers, and-- [laughter] And I go, and I-- I don't know anything about cheese and crackers. I don't even have a cracker plate. So I put the cheese on a normal dinner plate, and I had the saltines, but I-- I'll never forget this-- - Saltines. - I peeled it back almost like a disco '70s shirt where you just-- I peeled it back so it was kind of a little showy, a little glamorous, and like-- - It was still in the sleeve? - Yeah, yeah. Still in the sleeve. [both laugh] And I feathered out the crackers so it was classy. And-- and I totally remember this. And so Nicole Kidman's coming on my show, and I called my friend, and I go, "Dude, Nicole Kidman's coming on. "You remember when you brought her to my house, and I was so embarrassed, and I had"-- And he goes--he goes, "Yeah, yeah. That'll be fun. Tell her I said hi." I go, "Great." She's so nice. Comes on, I'm telling this story just like this, and she goes, "The reason why I was there wasn't because I wanted you for the movie." I go, "Huh?" She goes, "No, I liked you," or something. And I was like, "Wait, what happened? Wait, wait, wait." [laughter] "Wait, did I-- are you saying that we-- we basically-- we went on a date?" And then she goes, "Yeah, it was terrible." [laughter] And I go, "Oh, my gosh." And so I'm starting to get red, because I was ready to tell my embarrassing story, but then it got a little bit too real. She's like, "Then you started playing video games." And so I go, "All right, now-- now you're getting a little bit too close to the bone." Like, now it's like--yeah. But it all worked out. She's obviously happy with Keith Urban, and I'm lucky-- I lucked out. I have the best wife in the whole wide world. I love her.