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  • - Nicole Kidman was on the show.

  • Did you see that?

  • I mean, so Nicole Kidman--

  • turns out she thought she was going on a date with you.

  • - [laughs] Yeah, no.

  • This is honestly another thing--

  • I--I'm really embarrassed about this.

  • So--but this is like therapy, so this is--feels good.

  • I can talk to you guys about this.

  • - Good.

  • - I had Nicole Kidman--

  • my friend called me and said, "Dude, what are you doing?"

  • I go, "I'm walking home." - How long ago was this?

  • Before you were married, obviously.

  • - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. This was 2002, I'm gonna say?

  • Right before I met my wife in 2004.

  • So, 2002, I'm single,

  • but I don't think about this remotely as my chances of date--

  • so I think she was named "Most Beautiful Person" that year.

  • So this is beyond my-- so, anyway,

  • my friend called and says, "I have Nicole Kidman with me.

  • She wants to meet you, and I think it's about a movie."

  • "Bewitched," she was about to make.

  • And I go, "Oh, yeah."

  • Well, she ended up making it with Will Ferrell,

  • and it was great and whatever.

  • So I go, "Okay, great.

  • Well, where do you want to meet?"

  • He goes, "We'll come to your apartment."

  • I go, "Oh, my God, you're gonna bring

  • Nicole Kidman to my apartment?"

  • Like, this is--

  • "Uh, okay, uh, what do I--what do I put out?

  • I don't know what to do."

  • So my friend goes, "Go get some cheese and crackers."

  • I go, "Cheese and crackers?"

  • I mean, like, I'm seriously living the bachelor life.

  • I have sneakers and video games all over my house.

  • I don't know what's going on, so I go,

  • "What--what kind of cheese?"

  • I'm walking into a deli.

  • He goes, "Some Brie or something."

  • I go, "What is Brie cheese?

  • I don't even know what that is."

  • So I go-- he goes, "I got to go."

  • So I'm going, and I go, "Do you have Brie cheese?"

  • I really don't know what it is.

  • So I get a thing of-- I go to this aisle,

  • I get Brie cheese and saltine crackers, and--

  • [laughter]

  • And I go, and I--

  • I don't know anything about cheese and crackers.

  • I don't even have a cracker plate.

  • So I put the cheese on a normal dinner plate,

  • and I had the saltines, but I-- I'll never forget this--

  • - Saltines.

  • - I peeled it back almost like a disco '70s shirt

  • where you just-- I peeled it back

  • so it was kind of a little showy,

  • a little glamorous, and like--

  • - It was still in the sleeve? - Yeah, yeah.

  • Still in the sleeve. [both laugh]

  • And I feathered out the crackers so it was classy.

  • And-- and I totally remember this.

  • And so Nicole Kidman's coming on my show,

  • and I called my friend, and I go,

  • "Dude, Nicole Kidman's coming on.

  • "You remember when you brought her to my house,

  • and I was so embarrassed, and I had"--

  • And he goes--he goes, "Yeah, yeah.

  • That'll be fun. Tell her I said hi."

  • I go, "Great." She's so nice.

  • Comes on, I'm telling this story

  • just like this, and she goes,

  • "The reason why I was there wasn't because

  • I wanted you for the movie."

  • I go, "Huh?"

  • She goes, "No, I liked you," or something.

  • And I was like, "Wait, what happened?

  • Wait, wait, wait." [laughter]

  • "Wait, did I-- are you saying that we--

  • we basically-- we went on a date?"

  • And then she goes, "Yeah, it was terrible."

  • [laughter] And I go, "Oh, my gosh."

  • And so I'm starting to get red,

  • because I was ready to tell my embarrassing story,

  • but then it got a little bit too real.

  • She's like, "Then you started playing video games."

  • And so I go, "All right, now--

  • now you're getting a little bit too close to the bone."

  • Like, now it's like--yeah. But it all worked out.

  • She's obviously happy with Keith Urban,

  • and I'm lucky-- I lucked out.

  • I have the best wife in the whole wide world.

  • I love her.

- Nicole Kidman was on the show.

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A2 BEG US kidman nicole cheese brie wait peeled

Jimmy Fallon on His Date with Nicole Kidman

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    陳翰俊   posted on 2015/04/29
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