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  • And I often joke about tensions between me and the press.

  • but honestly what they say doesn't bother me.

  • I understand we've got an adversarial system.

  • I'm the mellow sort of guy and that's why I invited Luther, my anger translator to joining me here tonight.

  • Hold down to your lily-white butts.

  • In our fast-changing world, traditions like the White House Correspondents Dinner are important.

  • I mean really, what is this dinner?

  • And why am I required to come to it?

  • Jeb Bush, do you really want to do this?

  • Because despite our differences, we count on the press to shed light on the most important issues of the day.

  • And we can count on Fox News to terrify old white people with some nonsense.

  • Sharia law is coming to Cleveland, run for the damn hills!

  • You are all so ridiculous!

  • We won't always see eye to eye.

  • Oh, and CNN. Thank you so much for the wall to wall Ebola coverage ... for two whole weeks.

  • We were one step away from the Walking Dead.

  • And then you all got up and just moved on to the next day. That was awesome.

  • Oh, and by the way, just, if you haven't noticed, you don't have Ebola!

  • But I still deeply appreciate the work that you do.

  • Y'all remember when I had that big old hole in the bottom of the gulf of Mexico, and then I plugged it? Remember that?

  • Which Obama's Katrina was that one? Was that 19 or was it 20, because I can't remember.

  • Protecting our democracy is more important than ever.

  • For example, the Supreme Court ruled that the donor who gave Ted Cruz six million dollars was just exercising free speech.

  • Yeah. It’s the kind of speech like this. I just wasted six million dollars.

  • And it's not just Republicans. Hillary will have to raise huge sums of money too.

  • Aw yeah, she's going to get that money!

  • She'll get all the money.

  • Khaleesi is coming to Westeros! Watch out! Woo!

  • The non-stop focus on billionaire donors creates real problems for our democracy.

  • And that's why we're running for our third term!

  • No, were not.

  • We're not?

  • No.

  • Who the hell said that!

  • But we need to focus on big challenges like climate change.

  • Hey, listen you all. If you haven’t noticed, California is bone dry.

  • It looks like a trailer for the newMad Maxmovie up in there.

  • Y’all think that Bradley Cooper came here because he wants to talk to Chuck Todd?

  • He needed a glass of water! Come on.

  • The science is clear.

  • The science is clear. Nine out of the 10 hottest years ever came in the last decade.

  • Now I’m not a scientist, but I do know how to count to ten.

  • Rising seas, more violent storms

  • You got mosquitoes, sweaty people on the trains stinking it up. It's just nasty!

  • I mean, look at what’s happening right now. Every serious scientist says we need to act.

  • The Pentagon says it’s a national security risk.

  • Miami floods on a sunny day and instead of doing anything about it,

  • weve got elected officials throwing snowballs in the Senate.

  • Okay, I think they got it, bro.

  • It is crazy! What about our kids? What kind of stupid, short-sighted irresponsible bull

  • Whoa. Hey!

  • What?

  • All due respect, sir, you don't need anger translator. You need counseling.

  • So I'm out of here, man. I ain't trying to get into all this.

  • Go!

  • Luther, my anger translator he is, ladies and gentlemen.

And I often joke about tensions between me and the press.

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President Obama's Anger Translator at the 2015 White House Correspondents Dinner

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    Lily Chou posted on 2015/04/28
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