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Hey, what’s up? It’s Marie Forleo. You’re watching MarieTV, the place to be to create
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a business and a life that you love. Wanna give it a big hug every single day. And this
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is Q&A Tuesday, which means there’s questions and answers, Q’s and A’s, and today’s
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comes from Tamara and she writes:
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“Hi Marie. Whenever I see a little progress in my business I wanna hide under a rock.
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The moment I’m pushed outside of my comfort zone, I wanna run back in. What can I do to
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continue moving forward without running and hiding? Thanks so much, Tamara.”
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Oh my goodness Tamara, you are describing something that so many of us struggle with
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but we just don't know it. It’s this idea called an upper limit problem and it was coined
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by my friend Gay Hendricks who wrote the fantastic book The Big Leap. So I first discovered this
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concept because I got really sick after having a huge spike in my business. Here’s what
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happened.
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Second year that we launched B-School things took off. It reached a whole new level. So
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more financial wealth, more impact than I could’ve ever imagined. It was the middle
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of summer, I find myself in this yoga class so excited and I’m in my downward dog and
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all of a sudden I start to feel really, really sick like I’m gonna puke. Now, you’ve
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gotta get, I’m not the kind of person that gets sick very often, so this seemed weird.
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So I’m thinking, “Well, maybe it’s just a 24 hour bug.” I get home, I try to take
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care of myself, and it just kept getting worse. For 6 days I had skull crushing headaches,
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I couldn’t keep any food down. I was a complete and utter mess. Finally I got myself to the
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doctor because I thought maybe I have salmonella, maybe I have a parasite, who knows? Got these
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tests done, went home, chilled out. My friends came over that night to try and take care
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of me, I told them about what was happening, and they all said, “You know what, Marie?
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I don't think you’re sick. I think those tests are gonna come back negative. This is
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an upper limit problem. You have so much great stuff happening right now you probably just
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don't even know how to handle it.” I thought that was a little wild, but whatever. I listened.
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Turns out the next day the doctor calls me. I’m waiting for my test results figuring
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I’ve got something bad. He said, “You know what? Nothing is wrong with you. No salmonella,
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no parasites, no nothing.”
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So for me when I hit an upper limit I typically get sick. It sounds like for you you wanna
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run and hide. Some people get themselves in accidents or they pick a fight or they start
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dropping the ball at work. Why? Well, the theory goes like this: when you hit your upper
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limit your upper limit is basically the limit that you allow yourself to feel happy and
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successful. It’s almost like an internal thermostat, like your success comfort zone.
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And as Gay Hendricks says, each of us has a limited tolerance for feeling good.
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Now, when things start to get amazing and we go beyond that upper limit, many of us
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start to unconsciously start sabotaging ourselves so we can get back to our comfort zone. Now,
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this is a really universal problem, and thankfully we can actually do something about it. It
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has everything to do with turning up the volume on our awareness. So if anything good starts
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to happen in your life or you have a big breakthrough, you’ve gotta keep the lookout on for all
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the ways that you might self sabotage, and don't do it.
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So if you’re like me and you get physically sick, then you’ve gotta just chill out and
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rest and take it easy. If you’re someone who always drops the ball at work, pay extra
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attention to the details. And if you’re someone like you, Tamara, who really wants
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to run and hide when things get good, don't retreat. Just stay and let yourself feel it.
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Here’s the thing about upper limits, you’re gonna keep facing this throughout your entire
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life and the more awareness you bring, the more you reset that thermostat and re-calibrate
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yourself to handle all kinds of good stuff.
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Now, if you’re someone who’s into mantras you can use this one from Gay Hendricks. “I
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expand in success, love, and creativity every day as I inspire others to do the same.”
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Or you can use this tweetable.
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When it comes to joy and success, your built in upper limit is completely adjustable.
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That was my A to your Q Tamara, I really hope it helps. And now I would love to hear from
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you. How do you bust through your upper limits and do you have any fun stories to share on the topic?
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As always, the best discussions happen after the episode over at MarieForleo.com, so go
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there and leave a comment now.
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Did you like this video? If so, subscribe to our channel and it would be awesome if
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you shared this video with your friends. And if you want even more great resources to create
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a business and life that you love, plus some personal insights from me that I only get
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Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special
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gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I’ll catch you next time on MarieTV.