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Here's the situation we've all seen.
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You're sitting in a meeting at work; the conversation seems pretty normal.
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But then, things get a little heated as people run into issues where they don't agree.
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You notice but hey…you've seen this many times. It's normal.
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Then, someone starts swearing and personally attacking the intelligence of one of your colleagues.
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Let me be specific. Your colleague Jim says to another colleague Leonard,
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That's a stupid idea Leo. Do you even realize what you're saying?
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The people in the meeting look startled. Now, let's say you're the boss.
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What do you do?
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Well…let's start with what you don't do. Don't choose to do nothing.
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That only encourages more bad behavior.
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Also, don't choose to respond with similar bad behavior that is likely to cause real damage.
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Instead, let me offer you an escalating series of options to consider.
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First, if the behavior was bad but the context of your group is considered mildly deviant Instead of extremely deviant,
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begin my simply shifting the focus away from the offender.
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So if the bad vibe is between Jim and Leo. You turn to Sarah and say,
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"Sarah, what about you? if we go this route, what are your concerns?"
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Many times a simple diversion of this nature works very well.
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However, if the bad behavior is repeated soon after, you have to speak up.
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Again, if it’s not extreme, try addressing the group not the offender.
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You might say, "okay guys, we're all getting a little heated. Let's keep it positive and stay on point."
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Then, shift the focus to someone else.
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Now, if Jim engages the same or similar behavior again.
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You have to escalate. This time you have no choice but to call them out by name.
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For example, you might politely say, "Jim, I said we're going to keep this positive, okay?"
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At this point, you also need to talk to Jim offline because this type of behavior can't be allowed to continue.
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Go see him, preferably right after the meeting.
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When you do, cover these topics. State that you take issue with their behavior at the meeting.
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Then, be very specific by describing the behavior in a nearly verbatim manner.
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Then explain why this is an issue. And finally be very clear about your behavioral expectations moving forward.
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Close by gaining their acknowledgement that they understand your expectations.
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Dealing with aberrant behavior can be a challenge.
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You have to know when and how to intervene without making matters worse.
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Follow the process we just outlined and you’ll have a great chance to remove that behavior from your group.
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So you can get back to being productive.