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  • [Picks up Carmilla’s underwear]

  • Eugh. I am starting to miss having Perry around.

  • [Laura picks up a necklace and puts it on]

  • So,

  • with Carmilla and JP researching mystical weapons on campus

  • of which there are an alarming number, actually

  • I have decided it is time to tackle my scholastic progress or...

  • lack thereof by having a little conversation with my— [knock at the door]

  • [Danny enters]

  • Hey, Laura.

  • Uh, Perry said you needed to talk to me?

  • My Lit TA.

  • Hey, Danny.

  • You look good.

  • Thanks.

  • And youre still filming.

  • Even after what happened to LaFontaine.

  • Oh, god. Are you still watching?

  • Oh, no, no. Uh,

  • not after the library.

  • I worry too much.

  • Well, I’m glad that you still care.

  • But if you aren’t watching, then how’d you know about LaFontaine?

  • Oh, I ran into them in the hall.

  • Yeah, it’s not good.

  • Uh, so...

  • I was kind of hoping that I could ask you something.

  • Yeah. Of course.

  • The immediate thing of all this is that it has been very stressful.

  • Yeah. I know.

  • I haven’t exactly seen you in class lately.

  • Yeah.

  • About that.

  • Can I have an extension on my term paper?

  • What?

  • Just for, like, a week, until the big soul-sucking ritual I have to thwart is over.

  • [Silence]

  • What?

  • Three days?

  • [Sighs]

  • Oh my god.

  • I can’t believe I thoughtNo, instead,

  • you had me come all this way because

  • you can’t stay on top of your homework?

  • Seriously? Trying to save four people isn’t worth three days?

  • And, wait, can’t believe you thought what?

  • Nothing.

  • Did you think that I invited you over here so that we could…?

  • No, not anymore I don’t!

  • I can’t believe your nerve.

  • Can’t believe my nerve? I’m not the one being unfair and vindictive!

  • Well, youre not the one who got thrown over for Elvira, mistress of the snark!

  • Okay, that is so unfair.

  • No, you know what?

  • I’m not having this conversation.

  • If you can’t keep your supernatural affairs in order long enough to get your assignments done,

  • that’s your business.

  • [Danny starts to leave]

  • Come back never.

  • This place was cleaner when you were tied up.

  • [To Laura]

  • Don’t call me again.

  • [Danny leaves]

  • Oh my god, she hates me.

  • Danny hates me and I’m gonna fail my Lit course.

  • Please tell me youre having better luck with the mystical weapon situation.

  • Mmm, not so much.

  • [Laura sighs]

  • Ascalon, an enchanted spear that kills dragons, but only if youre a Christian saint.

  • The scepter of Kerykeion will heal them.

  • The holy hand grenade of Antioch would be perfect for an influx of monstrous rabbits.

  • Wait, what about this one?

  • The Blade of Hastur, forged from

  • the burnt bones of Star Spawn and meant to shatter all that oppose it. Yeah, that’s…

  • No.

  • Why no?

  • Well, it’s sealed into the face of a cliff in an underwater cavern, like, a thousand feet below sea level.

  • Nobody could survive that, which is probably the point.

  • We just need something a little less epic quest and little more

  • borrowed-from-the-museum-of-warfare-and-atrocities.

  • Maybe a nice bazooka

  • I could get it.

  • What?

  • The sword. I could get it.

  • Pressure depth and nitrogen narcosis aren’t really itches for a vampire.

  • That would be

  • I mean, you’d be risking your life and if your mother found out she would

  • Yeah, well,

  • my mother fed the only person I cared about to a monster and

  • maybe I don’t feel like letting that happen again.

  • Wow, that’s…

  • I mean, I know that youre not just doing it for me, but seriously

  • Don’t be an idiot.

  • Of course I’m doing it for you.

  • [Carmilla gets up and approaches Laura]

  • Where’d you get that?

  • I found it here. I thought that you left it for me

  • Get it off!

  • What?

  • [Necklace burns her hand] Ah!

  • But

  • [Laura convulses and falls forward]

  • Laura.

  • Hey, n-n-n-n-no. Laura!

  • [Possessed Laura stands up and cracks her neck]

  • Mother.

  • [The Dean]

  • Hello, sweetheart. I thought it was time we had a little talk.

[Picks up Carmilla’s underwear]

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B1 US laura danny carmilla mystical necklace perry

Carmilla | Episode 31 | Based on the J. Sheridan Le Fanu Novella

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