Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles [music playing] [footsteps] -Any sign of Vlad? -I have searched the length and breadth of five counties. And nothing. You're back early. Did you search properly? -I assure you, Count-- -You assured me you'd be a good mentor to my son. So why has he felt the need to go missing for a whole week? [door opening and closing] -If anything has happened to him, the Vampire High Counsel and I will hold you entirely responsible. -Perhaps, I could, uh, go out and pin some lost posters onto some trees. -(FRIGHTENING VOICE) This is my son, not some missing monkey! [thunder] -If you're done, Miss Ingrid. Is Ingrid OK? -I wouldn't know. I haven't seen her for weeks. -Yeah, but-- [panting] [owl hooting] -Ryan? Are you there? [leaves rustling] -I'm here, sis. -Ryan, thanks so much for coming-- -Don't get any closer. I can't trust myself. -How are you? I look a real state, don't I? -No, it's just so good to see you. -How are you getting on? -Vlad's gone. Ingrid's weird. The Count and Bertrand are at each other's throats. And I've nearly run out of stasis spray. They could turn on me at any minute, so I left. What is it? -Nothing. -Ryan! -I'm only just hanging on here. There's not much of the human part of me left. I'd hoped you'd found a cure. -I tried, honest-- -I know. I know. -I'll go back. -No It's too dangerous. -I'll be OK. There's one more thing I can try. There's a book. It's special in some way. If I can open it, maybe there's something in it! -I hate asking you to do this. -It's not your fault. It's Ingrid's. She did this to you. -Mm, mmm. -Master. -Oof, all I want is a hot mug of type O in my cozy coffin. -It's, uh, Miss McCauley. Uh, she's worried about Miss Ingrid and, uh, wants to see you. -Why is there no rest for the wicked. -I saw Ingrid earlier. She seems very down. -Really? I wonder why? -Well, from the very little I could get out of her, she's got no sense of purpose, feels her life is meaningless. -Hm, of course it is. She's a girl. -Sorry? -No, I was just saying, it's very difficult raising a young girl. -I can imagine. I've got a friend, Dr. Seward. She's a psychologist. I could ask her to see Ingrid. -Well, that would be so kind. I'll be happy to sign any commital papers. -That won't be necessary. She'll come and see her here. -Oh, of course. One step at a time. -Hello, you must be Ingrid. I'm Dr. Seward. But you must call me Joan. Can I open the curtains? -No. -OK, shall we, um, shall we sit down? Right. OK, Ingrid. Can you give me one word that best describes your life? -Pointless. -I'm sure others don't see your life in that negative way. What about friends and family? -I don't have friends. -Why? -I suck the life out of them. -OK, let's talk about your family. [music playing] [thunder] -You're so fat. We could carpet the castle with one of your enormous dresses. Haha! -Yes, and we could sandblast the stonework with a whiff of your wormy soil breath. -I hate you. -I hate you more. THE COUNT: Atilla and Crone! What an unpleasant surprise. What is that? -Home sweet home. -Nothing special. ERIN (VOICEOVER: There's a book. Maybe it has a cure if I can find it. -This is my son, not some missing monkey. Oh, Renfield, Renfield, come polish my boots with your tongue! Ha! -What do you think you're doing? -Just bringing in your freshly washed cape, Master. -Mm, well, now you've been wearing it against your disgusting carcass, it's going to need washing again, isn't it? -Yes, it is. -Mm, and when you finish that, you can polish my boots with your tongue, can't you? -Yes, I can. -Can you tell me what you see when you look in the mirror? -Nothing. -Do you mind if I tell you what I see when I look at you? I see a girl who, for whatever reason, has allowed herself to become detached from life. And we need to-- we need to reconnect you. What are you feeling right now? -Irritated. -I can have that effect on people. What else are you irritated at, Ingrid? -I think Vlad's proved he's not a worthy heir. I think it's only fair I should take his place. -Don't be stupid child, girls don't inherit the title. -Back to the tower room. -Uh, I don't think so. I'm the eldest. I'm having that one. -But I called it. -When? -In the hearse. -Right. Well, I called it before you were born. So kiss my cake. -Please, this is very simple. Vladimir will have the room. I'm proud of you, boy. At last, you're showing an interest in violence and cruelty. -I'm violent and cruel, Dad. Look. -Ow! -But there's something very important you've overlooked. -What? -It's Vlad that I'm interested in. -Dad doesn't call my brother "the Chosen One" for nothing. -Oh, how do you get on with your father? Tell me about your relationship. -I wouldn't call it a relationship. I'm a Dracula. I'm far too evil for birthdays. -So you won't want this card from your mother then. -Dad! You garlic muncher! -Language, Ingrid. -Ingrid is a born trouble-maker who delights in causing as much disruption to the class as possible. -Oh, Ingrid, can't you see I'm busy with the future Count Dracula here. -But I'm the eldest. I want to inherit the title. -Mmm, Countess Dracula. -Countess Dracula. THE COUNT: That's a good one. Presents! Oh, oh, the un-mortification. Vladdie, I've forgotten your birthday. -My birthday. My 16th birthday. -Oh, nonsense. If it was the castle bell would be tolling to summon you for your vampire transformation. [bell tolling] I can't hear anything at all, can you? [bell tolling] All right, so it's Ingrid's special day! [bell tolling] Here, have a vintage fang brush. -What do you mean we're going home? -It's the neighbors, Ingrid. They're driving us out with their good turns and nauseating favors. -But you realize how popular I am at that school? For the first time in my life, I actually exist. Don't you care about my feelings at all? -Oh, Ingrid, silly, of course I don't. Now, pack your bags. We're leaving at sunset. -A lot of dad's struggle bringing up girls. Do you think your father found your growing up difficult to handle? -I need a costume for the school party. -Why? What happened to that dress thing? -Ruined. I found it in Renfield's wardrobe with all the stitching burst. [clang] -Mmm, well, there's a simple solution to this. You'll have to get a job. -Me? Work? -It'll do you good to get out of the castle, become someone else's problem. -Why can't Vlad get a job? -Because he has one already, heir to my thrown. -Aargh! [music playing] --bones them bones, them jaw bones. Them bones them bones, them jaw bones-- -Aargh! Ugh. -Ah, huh-huh-huh-hu-- -Oh, dear. Well, that's a day's wages you owe me. And you can forget about going to any parties until I get it. -The day I was born, it was like a stake through his heart. DR. SEWARD: It can't have been easy for him. He must have made a lot of sacrifices, bringing you up on his own. -He loves sacrifices, never made any for me, though. -Have you ever tried to resolve your conflict, say by talking to him about it? -Yeah. THE COUNT: Ungrateful spawn! I'll banish you to the darkest pits of Hades! -Yeah? Well, bring it on! -You will never see the light of day again! -I won't anyway. I'm a vampire now. -Aargh! Ingrid, remember what happened to the last daughter who challenged me? -I'm you're only daughter. -You are now. DR. SEWARD: Dealing with unreceptive parents can be challenging.