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  • [music playing]

  • BERTRAND: Focus your energy.

  • Hold it.

  • Let it circulate through every nerve and channel.

  • Now push the power outwards, towards the book.

  • THE COUNT: Uh.

  • Ha.

  • That's it.

  • Well done, Vladdy.

  • -Keep going.

  • THE COUNT: At last we'll see how you lead us into the future.

  • -Ugh. [sigh].

  • -Two fingers, that's it.

  • If you were any good at your job, this pile of bones

  • would have given up weeks ago.

  • Vladdy would be commanding a glorious vampire army, and I--

  • I would be out of this stinking breather hole.

  • And in a luxury castle in Surrey.

  • -Surrey.

  • -Well, it's just a little pad I've had my eye on for a while.

  • If it wasn't for this buffoon, I'd

  • be picking out a portcullis by now.

  • Do better, or you'll answer to me.

  • -Sorry.

  • -[sigh] He's right.

  • You should've opened the book by now.

  • You've got the raw power, I can sense it.

  • Something's distracting you.

  • What?

  • -No he didn't.

  • He said kismet.

  • -Oh, uh, global warming.

  • Well, yeah, you know, the little polar bears and penguins.

  • Uh.

  • Ice.

  • -All right.

  • Let's take a break.

  • We'll do vertical flying at eight.

  • -Hi.

  • -Hi.

  • -Homework?

  • -Yeah. "Romeo and Juliet."

  • -Ah, pretty stupid story, right?

  • -One guy gets the wrong message at the wrong time,

  • and they both end up--

  • -(IN UNISON): Dead.

  • VLAD: So, I was thinking.

  • If you'd like, maybe you and me could go into town?

  • Not like on a date or anything.

  • Unless-- unless you want to.

  • -Are you asking me out?

  • -No.

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah.

  • -I'll meet you by the gates at eight o'clock.

  • -OK.

  • Cool.

  • Uh, catch you later.

  • -Where are you going?

  • -Hunting.

  • -Can I come?

  • -Well, I suppose it might be educational.

  • -Oh.

  • Master?

  • The uh, last of the Duchess of Cambridge, 1937.

  • -Ah.

  • -I'm going on a night hunt.

  • -Master, you're taking this pup hunting?

  • -My not?

  • Man's best friend, and all that.

  • -If he's your best friend, what am I?

  • -A filthy, infected pustule I can't seem to get rid of.

  • -Oh.

  • Thank you.

  • -Ah.

  • Soy blood!

  • My vintage blood replaced with this tasteless synthetic goo!

  • Right!

  • Assemble everyone.

  • I will worm out this cowardly maggot, and crush them.

  • -So when are we going hun--

  • THE COUNT: Cancelled.

  • ---ting.

  • -You are all suspects.

  • Well, except for Renfield, obviously.

  • Because he's a filthy little breather.

  • -Well, thank you very much.

  • -And Wolfie, because he's too young to drink blood.

  • You two may go.

  • -Might I suggest you put a guard on the blood, sir?

  • -Good idea.

  • Wolfie.

  • Guard the blood cellar.

  • Don't let anyone in.

  • Or you'll be out on your ear.

  • -Master, all that pup does is bark and scratch himself.

  • And yet he gets--

  • -And yet he's more useful to me than you've ever been.

  • -But I can prove myself, Master.

  • I'll catch the blood thief.

  • Yeah.

  • -Oh, stop wingeing.

  • Now go and help Wolfie prepare for his guard duties.

  • -Yes, Master.

  • -Yes, Master.

  • RENFIELD: I'll catch the blood thief.

  • I will, I will.

  • I will discover who drank the blood.

  • THE COUNT: So, which of you was it?

  • -You know I don't touch the stuff.

  • I only drink soy substitute.

  • -Me too.

  • -Yeah, right.

  • I've seen you drinking blood with my own eyes.

  • And he drinks it by the gallon.

  • -How could I have stolen it?

  • I spend all my time training Vlad.

  • -Enough!

  • You are all grounded until the culprit owns up.

  • -But I've got--

  • -The only thing you've got to do is open the book,

  • so we can all get out of here.

  • When are you going to do that?

  • -Ow.

  • Too tight.

  • Do it again.

  • -I don't know why you need a tie.

  • You're just a glorified guard dog.

  • -No.

  • I'm a pup security guard.

  • Dad said so.

  • -He's not your Dad, and he never will be.

  • -Well, at least he trusts me.

  • -I'm the only one he can rely on.

  • -[laughter]

  • [wolf howling]

  • -Oops.

  • [barking] [whine]

  • -Mm.

  • My prince.

  • Smart.

  • Eh?

  • But not smart enough.

  • VLAD: So, where do you want to go tonight?

  • -We can't, can we?

  • We're grounded.

  • -That's OK.

  • Bertrand will cover for us.

  • -Cover for you?

  • -Oh, uh, Erin and I are going out tonight.

  • -You're skipping training, and you

  • want me to lie to your father?

  • -Well, if that's OK with you.

  • -Yeah, Of course.

  • Don't worry about the Count, I'll take care of him.

  • -Thanks.

  • Really appreciate it.

  • -Good boy, Wolfie.

  • Good boy.

  • [growling]

  • -Little look.

  • [barking] [panting]

  • RENFIELD: Ah!

  • There's a footprint.

  • I caught you.

  • -Woof.

  • Woof.

  • Woof.

  • [panting]

  • -Good boy, Wolfie!

  • Stupid dog.

  • -I know what's distracting Vlad.

  • -Get rid of it.

  • -It isn't an it.

  • It's Erin.

  • -Mm.

  • That half breed still has her fangs into my Vladdy.

  • -They're going on a date tonight.

  • -Excellent.

  • Ambush them, get rid of her.

  • Job done.

  • -With respect, this problem may require more finesse.

  • -Subtlety is for breathers.

  • -I don't think so.

  • You're Vlad's father and his regent.

  • Why don't you show him where his true duty lies?

  • -Because.

  • I don't want him to hate me.

  • Look we need a clever plan.

  • We have to make it look like an accident.

  • And frame somebody else.

  • But who?

  • -Mhm.

  • -Because I'm worth it.

  • -Soy blood.

  • Doesn't seem very you.

  • Mm.

  • Duchess of Cambridge, '37.

  • An unmistakable vintage.

  • -It's just soy blood.

  • -Ah, what a shame.

  • I thought if anyone dared to taste forbidden blood,

  • it's be you.

  • -I've had plenty of forbidden blood.

  • -I could always spot a bad girl.

  • -Oh, you never met a girl as bad as me.

  • -Prove it.

  • You can take me to dinner.

  • In the blood cellar.

  • Eight o'clock.

  • [hiss]

  • -Not the one.

  • -[sigh] Soon, my beloved.

  • Soon we will be together.

  • -Erin?

  • Did you get the message?

  • -No.

  • -It's about meeting Vlad.

  • Can you meet him in the balcony instead?

  • -Yeah.

  • OK.

  • Thanks.

  • -My pleasure.

  • [fly buzzing]

  • -Hm.

  • Wicked.

  • -Shoes.

  • Not them.

  • Yeah.

  • Gloves.

  • Heh, heh.

  • Oh.

  • I gotta-- Oh, why don't you come to Daddy?

  • [laughter]

  • ERIN: Vlad?

  • [door opening]

  • [door closing]

  • [door opening]

  • -Sunrise.

  • And then you're toast.

  • Hm.

  • [humming softly]

  • [fly buzzing]

  • -Play dead.

  • -[snapping fingers]

  • Isn't he supposed to be guarding this place?

  • -I can handle Wolfie.

  • BERTRAND: Seems to me you can handle almost anything.

  • -But can you handle this?

  • -Genghis Fireblood Tempest, 1488.

  • -Just one.

  • -[sigh]

  • Oh, when your father finds out about this--

  • -You'll tell him?

  • Come on.

  • What are you?

  • A mad, bad vampire, or just some stuffy tutor?

  • -Mm.

  • I take my responsibilities to your brother seriously.

  • -Playing nursemaid?

  • -Ah.

  • It's not as simple as that.

  • -What do you mean?

  • Oh.