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  • Happily ever after only exists in fairy tales.

  • Yet a talking teddy bear is about to marry his girlfriend.

  • I now pronounce you teddy bear and wife.

  • You may kiss the bear.

  • Proving that the Americans don't give a crap about anything.

  • So I got some big news.

  • Tami-Lynn and I are gonna have a baby.

  • That's awesome! Wait! How do you guys....

  • We....We need a sperm donor.

  • What is that? What are you doing?

  • Getting ready, dude.

  • What are you getting ready? What...what are you doing with your hand?

  • I'm doing this for you. So when I get in, I can just bust it out.

  • You think you're at Red Lobster?

  • Hey, Johnny you did it!

  • Right here, buddy. Catch!

  • What the... dude, that's somebody's kid!

  • Dude, it's in my eyes! I'm blinking it in!

  • Wait wait, I'm gonna take a picture and post it on Facebook.

  • What!

  • Hashtag #Grrr... Monday!

  • Help me!

  • Oh my god, Teddy! Look at this!

  • It says that if we wanna have a baby, you're gonna have to prove you're a person in a court of law.

  • This is a nightmare.

  • We gotta fight! We'll get a lawyer and we'll sue the government for your civil right.

  • I'm Samantha Jackson. You must be Ted.

  • Yah, Samantha Jackson. What's your middle name?

  • Lesley

  • Oh my god! You're Sam L Jackson!

  • That's great! Just like Samuel L Jackson.

  • Who is that?

  • You've ever seen any movie ever? He's the black guy.

  • They denied you the same rights as everybody else just because you're different.

  • Can you get me my life back?

  • Ted, do you believe you have a soul?

  • [Sing] What did you think I would do at this moment?

  • Objection!

  • Overruled

  • If you want to be human in the eyes of the law, the important thing about being a human is making a contribution to society.

  • Where the hell is my coffee? You're not building rockets! Figure it out!

  • What a prick!

  • 20 bucks I can toss a cookie crisp in that guy's ass crack.

  • Do it! I'm gonna do it.

  • Oh my god!

  • Who did that!

  • Sir, I apologize for my five-year-old child.

  • Bad boy! You sit there and eat your fish nuggets!

  • Fish...nugget

  • Go go go!

  • Alright, I'm gonna ask you to do test questions. Are you ready?

  • Yep. Bring it on!

  • Do you consider yourself to be human?

  • Objection! Sustained!

  • No, the witness cannot object.

  • Overruled! Sidebar! Guilty! Speculation!

  • Hearsay! Bailiff! Brief case!

  • Disregard! In my chamber!

  • Stop beavering the witness!

  • I rest.

  • We can totally be lawyers!

Happily ever after only exists in fairy tales.

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B2 H-INT US jackson teddy objection samantha bear gonna

Ted 2 - Official Trailer (HD)

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    Wendy   posted on 2015/01/31
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