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  • There’s no question from public opinion polls that people care a lot about the honesty

  • of the person theyre dealing with, whether that’s their doctor or their political leader

  • And yet it’s more complex than thatOften we don’t want to know the truth.

Do

  • you want to find out that your spouse is cheating on youDo you want to find out the person

  • that you recommended for a job in your company is embezzlingDo you want to find out that

  • your kids are using heroinThese of course are all things that you want to know but you

  • certainly don’t want to know.

So it’s very complex as to whether or not we really

  • want to catch a liarWe think we doWhat if we find out that both of our presidential

  • candidates are lyingThen what do we do?  I’m not saying they are; I never comment

  • on anyone in office or running for officeOnly after theyre out that theyre fair

  • game. . . . Clinton said, “I didn’t have sex with that woman”  and then gave her

  • name.  "That woman" is putting her at a distance from himself.

Now there are many reasons

  • why people lie and some are honorable.  I study the lies that society cares about, cares

  • about catching, generally disapproves ofThe most common reason why people lie is to

  • avoid punishment for breaking a ruleUsually some rules are broken accidentallyYou

  • walk down the hallway too fast and you knock over a $2,000 jar that’s on the stand

  • You didn’t mean to do that.  “Did you knock over that jar?”  Well, youre not

  • going to – “Yes, I did. . . .”  “No, I don’t know who knocked over that jar

  • It wasn’t knocked over when I walked by.”  You don’t want to get punishedBut there

  • are many times where we make the decision – I’m going to break a rule, I’m going

  • to cheat, and I’m going to lie about it.  I’m not going to admit that I cheated; I

  • don’t want to get caughtSo the decision to lie is made at the same time as the decision

  • to cheat.

When we teach people, and we do in workshops teach people how to catch

  • liars, it takes us 32 hours. . . . Spotting a micro expression is the single most useful

  • thingThis is an expression that lasts about a 25th of a secondWeve tested

  • over 15,000 people in all walks of life and over 99 percent of them don’t see them,

  • and yet with an hour’s training on the Internet they can learn to see them.  

However,

  • that may only tell you that the person’s concealing an emotionThat’s a lie -- theyre

  • not telling you how they really feelBut it may not tell you that theyre the perpetrator

  • of a crimeIt’s a terrible example, but I have to use itmy wife is found dead

  • I will be the first suspect because, regrettably, the person most likely to kill their wife

  • is the husband. . . . “But I love my wife! I didn’t kill herThe police are wasting

  • their time and theyre insulting meTime is going by and theyre not looking for

  • the real person.”  I could be furious at them and concealing my angerAnd so if

  • you spot my concealed anger, it doesn’t mean I killed my wifeIt only means that

  • I’m concealing my angerNow if a lie is about how do you really feel, Paul, and

  • you spot a micro expression, then youve got it.

Second, realize that only the

  • gestures of your cultural group are you going to recognizeThat’s body specific language,

  • but you already know themYou can’t – if I asked you how many gestures are used in

  • America today, you’d give me about 12, but there are actually 80.  And if I showed you

  • every one of those 80, you’d know what they mean.

Now the one that amazingly enough

  • has had an enormous payoff is one of the most common ones we use, which is the headshake,

  • yes and no.  I just did thisThis is actuallyyesand this isno.”  But it occurs

  • in a micro fashionSo I worked on the case of an embezzler who had embezzled over $100

  • millionHe was really big time until Bernie Madoff came alongThis embezzler had accused

  • people in a number of banks of being in on the deal, which meant those banks would be

  • vulnerable to having to pay for the embezzlementAnd when one of the people who he falsely

  • accused, he is asked, “Did she help you steal the money?”  He said, “YesAbsolutely,

  • she did.”  Doing a slight headshake, noEven tinier than mine.

So there’s a

  • gesture oneThere’s a face one.  


There’s no question from public opinion polls that people care a lot about the honesty

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How to Catch a Liar (Assuming We Want To)

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    翁建發 posted on 2015/01/23
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