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  • I want this!

  • For some people, it's the easiest thing in the world to say.

  • Life's pretty nice for these kinds of assertive people.

  • They usually end up with the window seat on airplanes, the last slice of pizza and a cubicle that's not by the bathroom.

  • I hope he flushed.

  • But not everybody is naturally assertive even if they're allowed.

  • If you're like a lot of members on the WellCast Team, you might not be as comfortable talking about yourself.

  • Saying what you want or what you think when you're around a lot of people can be really difficult.

  • Okay well, today we've got four quick tips on how to be more assertive in every aspect of your life.

  • At school, at work or at a nerve-racking situation, like having to tell your parents that you ding the car (I'am so sorry).

  • You're ready? Tip one: hold on to your N.U.T.s!

  • Yap. This is an acronym borrowed from the author Wayne Levine.

  • It stands for non-negotiable, unalterable terms, basically, your boundaries.

  • When you find yourself stuck in an uncomfortable position, ask yourself what are the most important things to me in this situation.

  • What do I absolutely refuse to compromise.

  • Your N.U.Ts should include something broad like my health, or something specific, like my "A" average in biology.

  • Either way, once you know what your priorities are, it'll be easier to fight for 'em.

  • Tip 2 : Be simple, honest and direct.

  • Don't be passive or aggressive or coiled, it's annoying.

  • If a waiter brings you a kale salad and you ordered a cheeseburger.

  • Don't wait until the end of the meal to undertip, you have to send it back.

  • If you're honest and direct, rather than waffly and underhanded, things are more likely to work out in your favor.

  • At the very least, you've done yourself a favor by making your needs known.

  • Tip 3 : Fake it till you make it.

  • Hey here's a secret. If you act assertive, you'd start feeling assertive.

  • So, how do you know to do that?

  • Well, use your body language and your voice to make your presence known.

  • Practice good posture and speak in an authoritative volume.

  • Please do not touch anything on my desk.

  • It smells in there, are you flushing? I know you didn't wash your hands.

  • Be an eagle, not a turtle.

  • I know, just let me tease this metaphor out a little bit, it's a little weird.

  • Do:Be an eagle. Don't:Be a turtle.

  • Don't thrust your shoulders forward to slump.

  • You look like you're apologizing for yourself.

  • Do strengthen your back, stick your chest out, breath evenly and deeply.

  • Don't dart your eyes about, it's gonna look like you've got something to hide.

  • Pro tip, if you're nervous about maintaining eye contact, look at someone's nose or forehead, you'll see more engaged and in control.

  • We've tried this, it actually works.

  • Do speak up. Seriously, I can even hear you right now.

  • Tip 4 : Use "I" statements, instead of "you" statements.

  • This way you can express what you want without being accusatory.

  • To wit, what follows is the wrong way to tell your roommate to do the dishes.

  • You'd never do the dishes, there is a pile of them in the sink right now and it's old enough to be carbon dated.

  • Here's the right way, I feel like I've been doing more than my fair share of the dishes lately.

  • I'm pretty tired when I get home from work, could you help me out?

  • See? You expressed your frustration without sounding like a nag.

  • The assertive is goldmine.

  • Alright. You've completed your primer for being assertive.

  • Remember: figure out your priorities, be straightforward and honest, maintain good posture, eye contact and volume, and use "I" statements.

  • Go forth Well Casters, you're ready to tell that waiter that you ordered a cheeseburger.

I want this!

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B1 US assertive cheeseburger waiter turtle eagle eye contact

How to Be More Confident

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    Sunny Hsu posted on 2015/08/17
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