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Hi everyone, it's Marie Forleo.
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And you're watching Marie TV for a very special edition.
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Because we've decided to do this interview here with my dear friend Chris Guillebeau.
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And guess what,
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he got an awesome new book out right now.
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And it's call the Happiness of Pursuit.
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And I'm so excited…I adore Chris, I adore his work.
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Many of you know him already.
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We did an interview for his last book – the hundred dollars startup.
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And he's just the one of the sweetest, kindest, smartes,
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most brilliant people
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And I wanna to have a month off maybe, because I thought these concepts were awesome,
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so Chris…Thank you for coming back on Marie TV.
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Marie, hello and thank you.
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It's a huge honor. I'm so happy to be back. Thank you!
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Awesome. So tell us about the Happiness of Pursuit
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Finding a quest that will bring perfect to your life
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So what inspire you to write this new book?
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Okay. So since we last talked,
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I'm in wrapping up some personal project.
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It's a request to visit every country in the world.
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We talked about it a little bit last time.
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I've been working on it for eight years or so.
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Then, it's a ten years request in total.
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I'm just kind of came to the end of it last year.
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It was something that's… initially, it's just a personal project.
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It was something that I believe in for myself.
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And I love to travel and I love…
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valuable inspiration and discovery.
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So… as I presume this request, I knew I wanted to write something about it.
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But fortunately, I didn't just write a book about myself.
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I didn't just write I travel where because that will be kind of boring,
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so…all along the way
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I was meeting lots of interesting, remarkable people
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who were all pursuing a quest or some kind of adventure of their own.
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And, I wanna to know why did they do it.
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And what's the lesson they learned along the way
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and how are they changed for the process.
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What did they sacrifice or give up in order to pursue it
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And why about others…you know what can the rest of us learn about quests.
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And then…lastly, it's not really meant to be a sociological study.
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It's not just like the collect of like…this person do this, and this person do this…blah blah
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The book actually has a clear message. And the message is that a quest can improve your life.
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A quest can actually bring purposes and meaning to your life.
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I love it. So let me ask you this…
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Were you, as a young person or as a young boy,
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were you always into an adventure? Did you have quest when you're little?
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I don't know if I have quest. For say…I was always a list-maker.
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This is something that I notice. This is actually really common. For all the people I talked to…
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I really like to write things down.
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I like to write down my tasks, write down my ideas and outline even in rough form.
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I really like to kind of …you know break things down and just little project sort of thing
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So I think it was…maybe…
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a value that I have… and I'm kind of grew into it more
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And then I start traveling and it wasn't like…I went to my first country
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Oh I'm go to…you know, the rest of every single 193 countries in the world
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I'm kind of gain confidence as I have some experience.
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That was something else I saw… a lot of different people
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They started with this small vision and they kind of came to bigger one later one.
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Interesting. So if I heard you right,
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and please correct me if I'm wrong
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When you started to traveling to different countries, it wasn't necessarily like…
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Well…obviously, because you might have done some travel early on in your life
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But as you got that appetite web for travel,
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you saw an expanded vision… hey
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Why don't I set this adventure goal for myself to see every country in the world
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So wasn't even like you started off like ‘this is my quest' something that evolved.
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Yes. Absolutely, I have no idea.
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That this would become something that will conceal my life for more than ten years
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I just start traveling. I love traveling.
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I live in west Africa for a while
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and kind of gain some confidence
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And just really enjoy the joy of being in different places
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And I think it was after I've been to like fifty countries or so.
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I was like …it's not difficult after like being to 50ish.
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I have a thought that let me set a personal goal. Coz I always like goals.
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I try to go to a hundred countries, right.
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So that was the first one.
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And then I start to getting close to that and I thought um…
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How can I take it up a level because I'm just going to half the countries in the world.
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It's kind of cheat a little bit.
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So you know… I could just pick the easy countries. So yea. That was something I were into, totally.
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I really…for me, what made the differences was
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combining travel with goal setting,
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Combining travel with something specific,
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with structure, with a little bit of container to it.
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And that's just kind of change the whole purpose and focus for me.
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And you saw that with the people and the book as well that they perhaps started something
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Their appetite got web. And all of a sudden a new bigger world open up for them
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That became this quest, this adventure they want to go on?
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Yes. Very often. And the specificity hunts a lot
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There is one story – Robin Devin and Omehan Annarasca
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she's knitter.
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And she's like super excited about knitting and she's artist, she make stuff and
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She has this project to make hats for people.
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and that's how it was at first. She's like I'm gonna make hats
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so she makes hat for a friend or family just like the other knitters do.
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But then, she had the idea of creating some specific structure to it.
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And at first she thought…I wanna knit a thousand hats
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like…wonder what that look like you know So she's starting toward that
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figuring how much time and how much money
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and whether any other cost all that
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And then, she decided to increase the goal and go to the ten thousands hats
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So now, it's like her life quest to figure how many years it's gonna take.
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You could actually go to her website and request a hat
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maybe your wedding period
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But eventually she's going to make ten thousand hats.
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So yea, a lot of people, they found their vision expanded
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but then also as they work for something. They may get it more specific.
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So let's talk about the link between quest or adventure that we can go on, if you want to call it that
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And happiness. What did you discover not only for yourself
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but what did you discover from the story that everyone you interview in the book.
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So for myself, you know…when I start to traveling and pursuing the goal
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I think it kind of came out of the sense of discontent or dissatisfaction
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which doesn't mean that I was miserable or I was terribly unhappy like I have a good life
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You know…I have become an entrepreneur working for myself.
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But yet, I guess I felt I wanted to challenge myself. I wanted more.
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And a lot of people that we talked to or in the book,
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they had the same kind of discontent.
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It was yearning for something.
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It was yearning to connect something broader in their life.
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They often were happy, they have families,
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they have good jobs or good businesses or something.
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But yet, you know…they had this desire to go further.
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That where I saw really a link between the happiness and the pursuit of the goal.
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The pursuit of a goal…you know…bigger than ourselves.
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Something that is really significant. Something that is really challenging.
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Because there's also a link between a request and a challenge I think.
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If your quest is to go down the street and get coffee and come back.
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That's not really a quest, right?
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When you combine it with something challenging
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maybe hard but also rewarding
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You know…that what I think a lot of us can find happiness.
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Have you seen that people are working on multiple quests at once or
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do most people kind of choose something that feels challenging, needy,
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maybe a little bit scary, totally exciting?
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Sure. I think there is more than one way…you know… to do it.
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and I'm always the kind of person that like to work on a bunch of stuff at once.
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It's just my personality you know. For better or worse.
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But I also think …you know… a true quest a true adventure
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Does involve some kind of sacrifice.
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You know… it does involve some kind of trade-off.
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I mean that sacrifice is too heavy word so let's say trade-off…you know.
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To go to every country in the world, it's like…
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it was a pretty big thing. There were a lot of things that I have to say no to in order to say yes to that.
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Like what? Like what
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like building my career…you know…like
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I was on the road in central Africa and
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central Asia and Bangladesh all these places a hundred days a year often
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I couldn't really working my business very much…you know…during that time
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But it was okay. I have to say no to lots of opportunities…you know that are coming through.
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But I guess I really believe in this… prize.
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I really believe in doing it and everytime I was start to think
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Oh maybe I…you know…shouldn't get on that plane or go to Chad whatever.
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No. I have to do it. Because this is the rule of everything.
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This is the foundation of everything else.
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So yes. I think you can do a lot of stuff.
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But I guess it's also…if you believe in something like…
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it's going to take something from you as well.
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Yea. I love this discussion because
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it's specially…cause I love that you share the self doubt
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that can creep up I think
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For anyone who's creative if you…you know…call it a quest
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or if it's a project you know. To write a book or something to build a business…
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To create something that's never been created before
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And part of that adventure is that you're bringing it to the world.
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I think that self doubt is so…
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it's a topic that many of us…like…we don't like to talk about
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I love hearing that you were like…should I get on this plane to Chad?
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I have all these different opportunities coming in.
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I mean…I'm working on another writing project right now. And I feel like
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doubly the self doubt voices are like…
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God. Does anyone knowing about this? Do they even care?
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It's amazing. Did you notice that the other folks that you interview as well
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had those wrestling with self doubt
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In pursuit their adventure or quest?
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Absolutely. Like almost all of them.
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Almost all of them in different ways. They spoke about it in different ways.
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People uses different language…but everyone is experiences that thing.
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I think the bigger the challenge, the more the self-doubt and the more the fear.
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But also maybe more the stern that you have to do it.
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You know. It's this idea. It's not gonna leave you alone.
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And I think a lot of them are maybe focus on a long-term. They are focus on outcome
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and they thought about the book they wanna to write or whatever it was. And then,
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imagine having that out and think about the people who will be helped by it.
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That's kind of …you got them through…you know they focus on the other side.
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I mean…I think a lot of them also.
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The other interesting thing to say that they had in common
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was a lot of them had what I call
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The emotional awareness of mortality.
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This also sounds kind of heavy,but it doesn't need to
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I love it. We talk about death on marie TV all the time because I think
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I just think it's one of the most sobering and it wakes you up
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It wakes you up to value every moment so I'm not to interrupt. Let's talk about that.
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Let's talk about that reality and mortality.
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Right. So the emotional awareness of it is suppose to be intellectual awareness.
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I think everyone has intellectual awareness and some mortality which I find in the book
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That just the fact that everybody dies, right? It's a fact.
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But the emotional awareness of mortality…well I notice that
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A lot of these people talk about it in the interview.
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And they brought it up…like I don't even ask… “Hey! What do you think about death?” You know…
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It's not really a best interview question.
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But a lot of them talked about different experiences they had
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either with like an accident they have
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Or close folk they had, or someone they love and lost
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Something that just
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brought them closer to the awareness that
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not only everyone else in the world is gonna die one day, but I too.
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You know…we all die.
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And just the focus on the fact that life is short we should live with urgency.
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You know…that also kind of helps overcome some of the stuff out. I think…
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Okay, what really matters?
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Yea. I got my own stuff I got my own anxiety
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or whatever that thing is that I'm most struggle with.
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But I also have this dream and I also want more.
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I want to improve my life. You know…I'm taking time to watch Marie TV because
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Not just I wanna to entertain but I wanna improve my life. I wanna take steps… toward that.
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So that's something else that people had in common. And I think it's actually helpful.
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Yea. That's one of the values of this. That's one of the values of your book.
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I'm so happy that you wrote it.
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And that we're sharing it today. So many of us can find ourselves different part of journey.
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Struggling with…you know…is there more? Is there more meaning?
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I think one of the touching storis for me was about
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the young man who lost his wife.
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Can you tell a little bit about that story?
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Yes. Umm…this is a beautiful story it's a sad story.
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But it's also a beautiful story.
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This is the story that a young couple who met in South Korea.
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And he was American, she was Canadian.
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And they were both teaching English there.
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They met when they're really young say young 20s or so.
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And they fell in love. And they were beginning to plan a life together.