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Once upon a time in a far away land there lived a beautiful girl who dreamed of finding her prince.
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Alas, real life is no fairy tale.
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-Here's why Disney princes.... -So, this is love. -would make terrible boyfriends.
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-My dad threw this party so I could meet a girl who is... - Emotionally independent... -Hot and rich like us
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So, will you marry me?
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I think I left my straightener on.
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Hey, hey, hey, hey, Hey!
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What are you doing?
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Oh, thank god I thought you were dead.
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Then why would you try to kiss me?
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Uh, hold on, don't change the subject—who are these seven guys texting you?
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Uh, they're just my roommates.
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So now that we live together, we need to establish a few ground rules.
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Actually, I'm a little hungry.
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You are not allowed to step foot into that side of the house, especially my room—ever!
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It is forbidden.
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Okay, does that include the bathroom...
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Also, I'm gonna need to know where you are and what you're doing at all times.
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Because sometimes I get lonely.
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Do this and I'll release your father from my basement.
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You kidnapped my dad?
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Nailed it!
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Who are you talking to?
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Uh, excuse me, miss?
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Have you seen my girlfriend?
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Eric, it's me.
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Yeah, you look familiar, but...
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Wait, I follow you on Twitter, right?
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You don't remember the crazy lady you stabbed with a boat for me?
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I think I know what the love of my life looks like.
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Even your dog knows it's me.
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Let me get my dog back.
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Reina? Where'd you go?
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Oh, sorry, babe. You think you can spot me?
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Again?
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My parents just cut me off.
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No, you need to get a job.
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Ha ha ha ha! I got a job.
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My music.
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♪You woke up like that, you woke up like that, flawless.♪
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You know what? Have fun making love to your mini guitar.
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It's a ukulele.
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Can I at least borrow your car to get home?
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Take the bus!
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♪You're so fancy, you already know.♪
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Wait, your name is not Ali?
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♪Prince Ali, no Aladin, yeah that's me a compulsive liar, someone who plunders♪
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Uh, why are you singing?
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♪I told you what you wanted to hear to get inside your cave of wonders♪
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My cave of what now?
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♪The mansion we slept in was one that I crept in, the way I get laid is through deceit.♪
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Who are you people?
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♪The car that we rode in was one that I'd stolen but who needs a ride when you live on the street?♪
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You're homeless?
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♪That monkey you swear follows us everywhere is my one and only friend♪
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So yeah, I've had the absolute worst luck with dating lately. What about you?
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This is a little awkward... I kind of thought you were a dude.
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Excuse me?
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-It's just from certain angles, and your hair is pulled back in these photos. -I have boobs.
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Yeah, sorry... I guess I made a man out of you.
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I have been looking everywhere for you.
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You know what? I'm done with Disney princes.
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Being single never bothered me anyway.
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And she lived happily ever after.
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Why does this always keep happening to me?
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Hey, how are you doing?
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Ladies love it when you kidnap their fathers.
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I'm gonna build her a library if you know what I mean.
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And by that I mean I'm actually going to build a library.
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Seriously, who are you talking to?
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I'm talking to Lumiere!