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  • I am the one who writes your name in black marker on your Starbucks cup.

  • I probably write around 500 customers' names everyday.

  • Recently it's come to my attention that people aren't always satisfied with the names I've written.

  • In fact, many people say the names are often wildly inaccurate.

  • They wanna know why I can never get it right.

  • Allow me to explain why, I am fucking with you.

  • I didn't mishear your name, I'm deliberately misspelling your name to confuse and annoy you.

  • It's the best part of my job, and I will never stop.

  • Let me assure you, everyone in the world knows how to spell Jessica, literally everyone.

  • I decided to write "Gessica" on your cup to play with your emotions in a shrewd and calculating way.

  • And it worked.

  • You posted about it on Instagram, Twitter and Vine.

  • So sorry you didn't go viral.

  • I'm in your head now.

  • When I hear a customer's name, I immediately think, how could I spell this name in an obnoxious way that will infuriate and perplex them.

  • For example, instead of "Chris", writing "Khris".

  • It's a small change but people still hate it.

  • Other times I like to really fuck with people by spelling their name in a way that barely contains any of the correct letters.

  • Like a time I spell Nykal instead of Michael.

  • Oh man! That guy almost had a mental breakdown when he saw that.

  • (What's wrong?)

  • Poor poor Nykal.

  • But every once in a while, I'll spell your name correctly.

  • You'll pick up your order, and be delighted to discover that your name is spelled right today.

  • You'll think things might be looking up for you.

  • That's what I want you to think.

  • I am lulling you into a false sense of security.

  • This isn't over. It's never over.

  • I am sorry I didn't catch your name.

  • John. Thanks John.

  • Hi I am Paul ,tell me your best Starbucks story in the comments and I'll feature my favorite in an upcoming videos.

  • Subscribe and thumbs up if you like it.

  • And I'm on Instagram and Twitter but who gives a fuck.

  • Specially thanks to Starbucks for having a sense of humor about this and thank you for watching.

I am the one who writes your name in black marker on your Starbucks cup.

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Why Starbucks Spells Your Name Wrong - Agitators Ep. 1

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    Sunny Hsu posted on 2019/01/25
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