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  • ♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,

  • WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."

  • LET'S SAY HELLO TO JON BATISTE.

  • HELLO, JON!

  • >> Jon: HELLO, STEPHEN.

  • HOW YOU FEELING?

  • >> Stephen: I'M FEELING GOOD.

  • GOOD TO SEE YOU.

  • AS OF MIDNIGHT TOMORROW, THE NEW ALBUM DROPS.

  • "JON BATISTE WE ARE."

  • >> Jon: OH!

  • >> Stephen: ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL.

  • AND I LOVE THIS DEDICATION TO THE FRONT.

  • "DEDICATED TO THE DREAMERS SEERS, AND TRUTH-TELLERS WHO

  • REFUSE TO LET US FULLY DESCEND INTO MADNESS."

  • >> Jon: THAT'S RIGHT.

  • YOU'RE ONE OF THEM.

  • YOU KNOW, WE HAVE TO PEOPLE OUT HERE WHO ARE FIGHTING THE WAR TO

  • KEEP TRUTH AND JOY ALIVE.

  • THAT'S RIGHT.

  • >> Stephen: I AGREE.

  • I LIKE THIS "LET US-- WHO REFUSE TO LET US FULLY DESCEND INTO

  • MADNESS."

  • JUST THAT-- JUST THAT MUCH MADNESS IS JUST A LITTLE SPICE

  • IN THE POT.

  • WE CAN'T FULLY GO.

  • >> Jon: WE CAN'T FULLY GO.

  • IT'S ALWAYS GOING TO BE SOMETHING, THOUGH.

  • IT WILL ALWAYS BE SOMETHING.

  • THAT'S WHY WE'VE GOT TO KEEP FIGHTING TO KEEP THE BALANCE.

  • >> Stephen: THIS WILL HOLD BACK THE BALANCE THERE.

  • WE ARE JON BATISTE.

  • CAN YOU GIVE US A LITTLE TASTE BEFORE WE GO ON?

  • >> Jon: OH, MY GOODNESS.

  • ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

  • >> Stephen: THANK YOU, JON.

  • JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.

  • YOU KNOW, FOLKS, BEING A TALK SHOW HOST IS A BROTHERHOOD, AND

  • A SISTERHOOD.

  • AND I JUST NEED TO TAKE A MOMENT HERE TO TALK ABOUT A CRISIS IN

  • DAYTIME TALK, FEATURING A COLLEAGUE WHO I THINK IS GETTING

  • A LOT OF UNFAIR CRITICISM.

  • I'M REFERRING TO, OF COURSE, TALK SHOW HOST AND WOMAN

  • WATCHING YOU PICK UP THE BUFFET COLE SLAW WITH YOUR HANDS, WENDY

  • WILLIAMS.

  • WILLIAMS WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF HER SHOW MONDAY, TALKING ABOUT

  • THE LATEST KIM KARDASHIAN NEWS, WHEN THIS HAPPENED:

  • >> SHE'S PROBABLY GOT FIVE NEW BOYFRIENDS.

  • WE HAVEN'T CAUGHT ANYBODY COMING OUT OF THE HOUSE YET BUT, YOU

  • KNOW, IT'S JUST A MATTER OF TIME.

  • SHE'S NOT LONELY.

  • ( BURP/FART COMBO ) I APOLOGIZE.

  • I APOLOGIZE.

  • >> Stephen: DON'T YOU DARE APOLOGIZE, WENDY!

  • THAT WAS AN AMAZING ROOTIN' TOOTIN' BURP-FART MOUTHBUTT

  • SAMPLER PLATTER!

  • WENDY WAS SLINGIN' SUCH HOT GOSS, HER G.I. TRACT JUST HAD TO

  • CHIME IN AND DISH.

  • ALSO, WHY NOT LET 'EM RIP?

  • NO ONE CARES!

  • EVERYBODY'S ALREADY WEARING A MASK.

  • ALSO, ALSO, I GOT TO SHOUT OUT WENDY'S SOUND TEAM.

  • THAT IS A PRECISION MIC SETUP.

  • HOW DID THEY TECH THAT?

  • "MS. WILLIAMS, WE JUST NEED TO DO A QUICK MIC CHECK.

  • WOULD YOU MIND FARTING TO TEN?" ( LAUGHTER )

  • BUT HERE, HERE IS WHERE STEVE-O COMES TO THE DEFENSE: AS A

  • FELLOW TALK SHOW HOST, I KNOW THAT GOING LIVE TAKES A LOT OF

  • GUTS, OUT OF WHICH SOUND SOMETIMES COMES.

  • MY SHOW IS, ON MOST NIGHTS, PRETAPED, WHICH MEANS I HAVE THE

  • LUXURY OF EDITING STUFF OUT.

  • AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ABOUT TO DO THIS.

  • I CAN'T BELIEVE THE COURAGE I'M ABOUT TO SHOW.

  • BUT, JIMMY, LET'S DEMONSTRATE TO THEM THE MOMENTS WE EDITED FROM

  • LAST NIGHT'S MONOLOGUE.

  • WELCOME TO-- ( LOUD FART )

  • -- "A LATE SHOW."

  • I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT ( BURP )

  • DEMOCRATS HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING ABOUT THE FILIBRUSTER--

  • ( FART ) -- YET.

  • ( FART ) BUT THERE ARE MURMURS--

  • ( FART ) -- AND RUMORS

  • ( FART ) WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU

  • TONIGHT.

  • ( LONG FART ) MY GUESTS ARE LUPITA NYONG'O AND

  • MARTIN FREEMAN, BUT WHEN WE RETURN--

  • ( FART ) "MEANWHILE"!

  • STICK AROUND.

  • I KNOW, PRETTY EMBARRASSING.

  • I SAID "FILIBRUSTER."

  • YOU STAY STRONG, WENDY.

  • WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH EARVIN "MAGIC" JOHNSON.

  • ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,

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Wendy Williams, Don't You Dare Apologize!

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    林宜悉 posted on 2021/03/18
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