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  • -It's time to play a game of deception

  • called "True Confessions."

  • ♪♪

  • Wow.

  • My first opponent is an amazing actor

  • whose new animated series, "The Great North,"

  • airs Sundays at 8:30 p.m. on FOX.

  • Please welcome Nick Offerman.

  • Nick, it is great to see you.

  • -Thank you, Jimmy. Good to see you.

  • -Nick and I will be facing off against a talented model

  • who just launched a brand-new YouTube channel today.

  • Please welcome Hailey Bieber.

  • Oh!

  • Hailey, welcome, welcome, welcome.

  • I'm happy you guys are here.

  • Here's how this works.

  • Each of us have two envelopes containing confessions.

  • One is true, the other is a lie.

  • Once you read your confession,

  • the other players will interrogate you,

  • and then they have to come to a unanimous decision --

  • is it the truth or a lie?

  • Nick, you will go first.

  • Hailey, which envelope should he open,

  • number one or number two?

  • -Number two.

  • -Yeah, I agree. -Number two.

  • -Yep.

  • -In a Tokyo -- [ Laughs ]

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Who wrote these?

  • In a Tokyo hotel lobby,

  • I once offered my services to a middle-aged businessman

  • as a prostitute.

  • -[ Chuckles ]

  • What?

  • Wait, no. What -- What --

  • Alright, what year was this?

  • -1991.

  • -And why were you in Tokyo?

  • -I was touring a Kabuki theater show around Japan.

  • -Yeah. And you were in the Kabuki theater?

  • -I was. I was cast as... soldier number three.

  • -[ Laughs ]

  • It's so outlandish that I feel like it might be true.

  • -There was a language situation

  • that maybe created a bit of a snafu.

  • -Ah. [ Laughs ]

  • -I was going to say there's no way that's true,

  • but I don't know.

  • I think honestly that now makes me think

  • that it actually did happen.

  • Hailey, what do you think?

  • -That's -- What I was saying before is

  • it sounds so outlandish that perhaps it's true.

  • ♪♪

  • -You are correct.

  • That actually did occur. [ Ding ]

  • -Yes! -[ Laughs ]

  • What happened?

  • Wait. What did you think you were saying?

  • -Yeah, what was going on here?

  • -My two friends and I

  • were having breakfast in this hotel lobby,

  • and they were also in the show.

  • And this older gentleman came over,

  • and he was very interested to meet us.

  • And we were trying to make conversation,

  • and he was offering us cigarettes.

  • And we were smokers then, so we took them.

  • And we kept saying we're in the Kabuki show,

  • and his eyes would light up.

  • And so what happened was... -[ Laughs ] What?

  • -...Kabuki is the theater style,

  • but it is also slang for "prostitutes."

  • -Oh, wow! -So we were saying to this guy,

  • "We're in a theater show,"

  • and what he was hearing is, "Hello.

  • We're American hookers.

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -It is now -- It is my turn.

  • Which envelope should I open?

  • Number one, number two? Do you care?

  • -I'll go number one.

  • -Is that what you propositioned to the guy?

  • [ Laughter ]

  • Here we go.

  • One time, I accidentally dined and dashed with Alec Baldwin

  • because we each thought the other person paid the bill.

  • You know him.

  • Questions?

  • -Doesn't seem impossible to me.

  • But here's what I want to know --

  • Where were you dining?

  • -It was Pierre's,

  • which is a French bistro in East Hampton.

  • -Oh, you're good. That's a good detail.

  • -So, Hailey, you know this turf, I presume.

  • -Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

  • I feel like I should have a sixth sense

  • because this is someone I'm related to.

  • Um...hmm.

  • I'm going to say

  • that I think that that's probably true.

  • -I'm going to say it's true.

  • -It's false.

  • -[ Gasps ] -What?!

  • -That's the best acting I've ever done in my life!

  • We would nev--

  • I've been to dinner with Alec, but, no,

  • we never dined and dashed at Pierre's.

  • I made the whole thing up. -You said it was an accident!

  • -I made the whole thing up!

  • -Wow, you are diabolical, Jimmy.

  • -Never, ever, ever happened.

  • Yes! That's the greatest acting.

  • I should get back into movies.

  • -I'm impressed. I'm impressed. -Thank you.

  • Hailey, it is now your turn.

  • Nick, which envelope should she open --

  • number one or number two?

  • -I will go with number two, please.

  • -Yep. -Number two, okay.

  • [ Sighs ]

  • Number two says...

  • one time, I got lost on a jet ski

  • and was chased by a pack of wild dogs.

  • ♪♪

  • -Okay. -Phew.

  • -I know. That's a thinker.

  • It's a brain bender only because --

  • I'm just not seeing the wild dogs

  • on the water chasing you.

  • And they have to be running pretty fast

  • to be chasing you on a jet ski, wouldn't you say, Nick?

  • -Well, unless --

  • are "The Wild Dogs" the name of a marauding gang...

  • -[ Laughs ] Like a jet ski gang?

  • -...in the Hampton area, perhaps?

  • [ Laughter ]

  • -The Wild Dogs. Yeah, they're a famous jet ski gang.

  • I've heard of these. They're like a lake gang.

  • -No, we're talking real, live wild dogs.

  • -Was it night or day?

  • -What are you talking -- -It was daytime.

  • -You can't jet ski at nighttime.

  • -Jet skiing at night sounds dangerous.

  • -Yeah.

  • -I'm not a big jet ski enthusiast.

  • I apologize.

  • You --

  • Did you survive the encounter?

  • -[ Laughs ]

  • Obviously.

  • Alright. Wait a second.

  • -Well, I'm here.

  • -Yes, you're here.

  • Well, how did you get to land?

  • I'm assuming they chased you around the beach.

  • -We were actually doing a little boat excursion,

  • and we had taken the jet skis off the boat...

  • -Okay. Alright. Here we go. -...to explore,

  • and we ended up just barely making it back

  • after a few of the jet skis had died.

  • -Yep. This is -- You know why this is true?

  • Nick? Because I was a model myself,

  • and when you are successful, you do -- you party.

  • -Okay. Jimmy, did I hear correctly?

  • Are you attempting to tell me what models do?

  • [ Laughter ]

  • As though I'm not a very --

  • -No, no, no, no, no, no, I would never say that.

  • That is not -- Dude, no no.

  • I would never -- Sorry to insult you.

  • Dude, I've known you for a long time. So --

  • -I'm -- Listen, I mean, I guess I'm either gullible

  • or you guys are very talented,

  • because I'm also leaning towards believing this story.

  • And also, I'm just going to text my business manager real quick

  • because I'm going to invent

  • a jet ski with a headlight and --

  • -[ Laughing ] Oh, my God.

  • That's not the point of all of this!

  • -Get the [bleep]

  • -Chased by wild dogs on a jet ski,

  • which is, honestly, that is an insane story.

  • I'm going to say it sounds so bizarre that it's true.

  • -I agree. We say true.

  • -You guys are correct.

  • [ Laughing ] That is a true story.

  • -My thanks to Nick Offerman, Hailey Bieber.

  • That was "True Confessions."

-It's time to play a game of deception

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True Confessions with Nick Offerman and Hailey Bieber | The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon

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    林宜悉 posted on 2021/03/13
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