Subtitles section Play video Print subtitles - I think this show is made for us. - Yeah - Interesting hairstyles, booze, drugs and (bleep). (Laughs) - Good old sweaty (bleep). - Hi, I'm Trixie Mattel. - And I'm Katya. - And we are two queens who like to watch. - And what are we watching today? Well, The Queen's Gambit. - Yeah, it's pulled directly from the YouTube comments. This was heavily requested. - Heavily requested and thoroughly enjoyed by me prior to this experience. - Oh really? - Oh yes, honey, I watched it. I watched the (bleep) out of it. - Do you (bleep) with chess? - I don't (bleep) with chess but I (bleep) with this series. - Not at all, not at all. - See you on Farmville, (bleep). (Laughs) (Dramatic music) - [Trixie] Spoilers ahead. - Spoilers alert. - I'm just envisioning that it's going to be this hot girl with short bangs, like leaning over a board, like modeling a lot. - When I (bleep) tell you that's exactly what she does, it's the pursed lips and the focused stare. - It's going to be that. - Yeah. - Maybe we should get into chess. - Nope. No. So now we get to look at the origin story of the lovely Ms. Elizabeth Harmon. Orphaned. Me? Whore-phan. - [Elizabeth] I'm coming. Oh! (Crashing) - [Katya] I love a fall in the bathtub, sets you up for a fun whimsical lump. - Okay. Still hot. - (Bleep). - Oh my God, she's a party girl. You know, a little pep-pill. - Guess who's in the bed. - Her daughter (Laughs) - She's 17. - She's, Oh. Well she's drinking and taking pills. She's in France. - Allô pâlot. What do you think of that wig? She's wigging out. Why is she running? - Mama? She's late for a match. - Boy, I love a Pilgrim shoe. Work (bleep). Oh. Oh is she famous? - Oh yeah, oh yeah. Rising up through the ranks of chess-dom. - That's how famous people get from chess? - Mama, grandmaster wizard level. - I'm sorry. - So that's the Russian guy, he's fabulous. - He's playing against her? - Uh-huh. - Oh, he's been waiting, he's mad. You know how I would sit down if I was playing chess these people? (Moans) and I'll go, uh. What did we say? Hot girl staring in a hot way. - She has a face that you just want to look at. - I want far apart eyes and like - It's the Cupid's bow. - my eyes are so close together, I look like Cyclops. - I think it's the shape. - Oh, I'm not talking about now. But also, how dare you? (Laughs) Well maybe it's the dark black circles you draw around them, you (bleep) baby. - Picasso wasn't understood in his day. - Oh, she's that kind of orphan. - Humble beginnings. - Oh my God. - Every good series starts with a fatal car accident. - Oh. Maybe this is like Slumdog Millionaire and she's good at chess because her parents are dead. She had nothing to do. - Chess-dog Millionaire. - You understand dear, your mother's passed on. You know what that means, don't you? - Is that Nathan Lane? - I love a dramatic lull. Nobody wants to adopt a person over five years old. - Not me, I'm looking for someone 17 and a half. I'm looking to do a quick six months, say I did it. - This is Elizabeth Harmon. - You're all a bunch of (bleep)ing (bleep)suckers! - Jolene. (Laughs) - I did tell you I had a role in this. - You're one of the (bleep)suckers? - Yeah I was (bleep)sucker #2. - Beth is being introduced to her first addiction she picks up, which is pills because the children get drugged here. - I save the green ones up for the nighttime. Otherwise they turn off right when you need them to turn on. - That's a friend. - Your mama and daddy dead? What's the last thing they said to you before they died? - Oh my God. - I know. - This is me trying to relate to people. - I know. - Interesting. Both your parents died. - Both dead? Murder? How bloody? - Yeah, bloody? Yeah. Was it open-casket? Okay. - Do you know how many basic people are about to start chess lessons in two second because of the show? - Like, if I do chess will people think I'm complicated and hot? - Yeah but when they find out it's not checkers, that's a wrap. - I go to chess and the whole time, I think it's Bananagrams. I'm like, I don't know how I'm supposed to spell a word with this. - Scrabble. - Words with Friends. - Funny story, I got so beaten down in Words with Friends that I actually cried. I cried. I cried because I was like, nor N-O-R I was like, what the (bleep) kind of word is that? He's like, neither, nor. I was like, I actually started crying. The Queen's Gambit. (Laughs) - [Katya] So there's this dude in the basement, right? He's kind of like the mysterious janitor and she really wants to get chess lessons. - Oh, she wants to learn. - Yeah. - I hope he's like fine, I'll do it but you have to grow out your bangs. (Laughs) We're not doing this anymore. - Seriously. (Dramatic music) - [Trixie] Let's get turnt. - Any drug addict knows that if you take drugs at night, you develop a special skill. - I can't tell if you're kidding. - No, of course I'm kidding. - Oh, well, I don't know if you have, it depends on what kind of drugs you take. - Yeah, I guess. - If you take drugs at night you might develop a really clean home. - That's true. - You know? - That's true. - Beth, a troubled young drug addict, meets a failed talent who likes to drink. I don't know if you and I will have any insight into this type of relationship, but we'll have to see. - The adventures of Boozehound & Cracky, tonight at eleven. (Laughs) - Everything is so drab. - Color had not been invented yet. Oh. - Fashion montage. - Don't you look lovely. - A lovely utilitarian smock. - Aren't we going to look at the chess sets? - Another time, dear. But I'm going to start giving you 40 cents a week allowance. - Did you have an allowance? - Of course not. - Okay. - My mom had an allowance from the state. (Laughs) It's called welfare, (bleep). Did you have an allowance? - Yeah. - What'd you get? - Ten dollars a week. - I mean, how old were you? - Twenty two. (Laughs) - Do you have any books on chess? - Hi, do you have a VHS copy of the off-Broadway run of the musical chess? - I need you to fill this prescription for me. - And while you're there, - Give me a pack of smokes. - Buy yourself a Coke, - Oh. Six pennies? (Bleep) really? A coke? - I loved back in the day. Will you get me like a winter coat, a couple of refrigerators, three weeks worth of ham, here's a fiver. - Yeah. - There was a lady in my town, I pumped her gas once and she gave me 35 cents. - And that was enough. - She thought so. (Laughs) - I started siphoning that gas straight back out of that truck. I say, no girl. - Doctor Talbot has decided I need more tranquility. Much more. - So are we to understand that that's like a xanny? - Yes, I'm taking a xanny-bar. My black beauty's kicking in Here I go, Gallop. Gallop. (Laughs) - Why do they only fill these bottles half-full? - Oh, she's stealing them. This time the hallucination doesn't work, it's just me in the corner, nude like this. I'm doing TikTok dancing in the corner. I hope when she read for this role, it was like do you think you could lay down in an Anna Wintour bob and stare at the ceiling for about half the series? (Laughs) - This is a Cardinal. - It's a butt plug. - This is a butt- (Laughs) I don't know what this is. - Oh, I know what this is, this is an obsidian roller. It's great for the skin. It, apparently it's a puzzle. Is it supposed to do that?