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  • Catherine Zeta Jones

  • She dips beneath lasers

  • Oh, oh, oh

  • You got to, you got to, you got to

  • Got to be fresh

  • - Woo, let's do this, boys!

  • Looking swole, looking good, good luck out there.

  • I believe in all of us.

  • We're all gonna take a trophy home.

  • - You the mascot for the competition or something?

  • - Are you the mascot for the competition or something?

  • Do we have beef already, dude?

  • - Just be careful out there, all right?

  • - Careful? I never am.

  • Woo!

  • (Adam groaning)

  • - Welcome to

  • the Tri-Valley Amateur Bodybuilder's Competition.

  • Give it up for our contenders.

  • (audience applauding) (triumphant orchestral music)

  • - Dude, that's Barry.

  • I sold that guy a garbage bag full of growth hormones.

  • Aye, you're looking huge, Barry!

  • - [Anders] Wow, this is pathetic.

  • Adam looks like a baby man up there.

  • (heavy metal music)

  • (Adam yelling)

  • - Please welcome to the stage our next contestant.

  • He's 5'8", weighing in at 240 pounds,

  • well, that can't be right.

  • Adam "The Snake" Roberts DeMamp!

  • - All right. - Here we go.

  • (chill hip hop music)

  • (Adam grunting)

  • (Adam making weird noises)

  • - You know what, I stand corrected.

  • The guy is a showman.

  • - [Karl] His body is looking tight.

  • (audience laughing)

  • (Adam grunting) (audience laughing)

  • - Okay, that's not good.

  • - What are you laughing at?

  • I'm yoked!

  • - Don't laugh at my friend.

  • Okay, only I laugh at my friend.

  • He's got like 10 times more the bravery than you.

  • I don't see you with your shirt off.

  • You probably got big, dark nipples.

  • Adam, you keep doing what you're doing, bud.

  • No, no, no, they're laughing out of respect.

  • It's a respect laugh.

  • Howie Mandel gets them all the time.

  • Got to be fresh

  • - [Blake] Oh, hey, what's up, Adam.

  • You are looking straight jacked, dude.

  • - I can't go to Hedonism.

  • I'm not gonna have a good time, I won't get laid.

  • - What, why? - Why is that?

  • - Because my dick fell off! (everyone laughing)

  • Oh, just kidding, I tucked it back,

  • it actually hurts a lot.

  • My dick's back here though. ♪ Got to be fresh

  • Hey Blake, film me. - Film what?

  • I'm gonna

  • Ride the stairs and get pitted

  • So pitted

  • - What'd you do?

  • (Adam yelling and groaning)

  • - Tell me you got the footy on that one.

  • - No, not at all, I didn't even have my phone out.

  • You got to wait til I have my phone.

  • Got to be fresh

  • - Welcome to "DeMamp Camp Fully Insured".

  • On this new edition,

  • I'll be showing you a brand new exercise

  • that I just created using my own brain and intelligence.

  • It's called the Roof Fly Delt Pump.

  • Basically, you get a running start,

  • pump your delts so hard that you come to a nice soft landing

  • because you've just flown for a few seconds.

  • Let's do this!

  • (Adam screeching) - Here we go, yeah!

  • (Adam groaning) - Oh, Adam!

  • - Blake, we get it?

  • This next exercise, your bis might turn into tris,

  • or your tris might turn into God knows what.

  • Are you ready?

  • (Adam groaning) (everyone groaning)

  • (screaming) My shoulders!

  • - We got to get you to a hospital!

  • - I'm gonna pop them back into place!

  • I'm gonna pop them back!

  • (groaning) I made it so much worse!

  • Got to be fresh

  • - Hey guys, hey guys.

  • - Don't have sex with the Dodge Dart.

  • - I'm gonna dunk off the Volvo!

  • - [Anders] Hey, dude.

  • - [Alice] Oh, watch the sunroof.

  • (everyone groaning) (Alice giggling)

  • - And one.

  • My nuts just ruptured. - What an idiot.

  • It's out of the pouch. ♪ Got to be fresh

  • Silent night

  • (Adam crashing)

  • - [Adam] Oh!

  • - Every year!

  • Got to be fresh

  • - [Blake] DeMamp (indistinct), what up, bro?

  • Are you ready to rip?

  • - I'm ready to rip!

  • Actually, I'm very nervous.

  • I don't think I'm wearing enough padding,

  • but I will die for you guys.

  • - Freaking rock on.

  • Ders, light it up, lets do this.

  • - Ready to go? Little worried.

  • - Ow!

  • - Woo. Oh God! - You got this, DeMamp!

  • - Ders, punch it.

  • We're about to hit the jump.

  • (Adam screaming)

  • - Whoa, dude!

  • How did you land that, dude?

  • Blake, tell me you got the shot.

  • - I got it, oh (yelling). Ow!

  • - I mean, I knew today was gonna end with an ambulance ride,

  • I just didn't think Blake would be the one in it.

  • - What's that's supposed to mean?

  • - Means you're always getting hurt.

  • - Yeah right, Ders, I get hurt all the time.

  • - Dude, hey! ♪ Got to be fresh

  • - The thing everyone hates about Anders

  • is his disrespect for women.

  • He treats chicks like second grade citizens

  • and they're not.

  • Natalie Portman went to Harvard and she's smart as shit.

  • She's super smart.

  • - How did you get in here?

  • - If I were Anders,

  • I'd punch you in the face for asking something like that.

  • But I'm not.

  • Thank God I'm Adam and I love women, all women.

  • All shapes and sizes, I just love them.

  • Love them.

  • Blake asked me the other day how to spell "if".

  • Gonna trust that level of smartness

  • with a multi-thousand dollar corp?

  • - Adam, I think we're done.

  • - Oh, and Alice, it's I-F.

  • I, if you didn't know.

  • Got to be fresh

  • - Hey. - What do you want?

  • - I just want to let you know that you're not alone.

  • We're here for you.

  • I'm here for you.

  • - Have you made any sales today?

  • - Ooh, you are angry.

  • I like that.

  • If I got divorced I'd probably be pretty angry too.

  • First I'd have to get married,

  • but then I'd get divorced.

  • You need to get back on the man horse, right.

  • 'Cause I think I know a certain horse man

  • that might want to take you out for a trot.

  • - Are you seriously hitting on me right now?

  • (Adam neighing)

  • - No, I'm not.

  • That was my horse impression saying no.

  • Got to be fresh

  • - Ow.

  • - I know.

  • The one day we need to focus and she had to temp.

  • - Don't mind me,

  • I'll just be here with my breast and boobs

  • being a girl as hot as possible.

  • Freaking Austrians, like land down under.

  • - And you know she just dates the hottest dudes of all time.

  • - If you don't want to date me, that's fine, I get that.

  • But you're wrong and I hate you.

  • - Let her date the underwear models

  • and the pro surfers, okay.

  • I'm sorry if we're real people.

  • - We're real. - So real.

  • - We're the realest people. - I know.

  • - I'm sick of beautiful people

  • who don't have to work for their beauty

  • when I'm over here sweating my balls off

  • for all this beauty.

  • And you can hardly tell some days.

  • Got to be fresh

  • (Adam grunting) (woman gasping)

  • - Dang it.

  • - I'm so sorry.

  • - Hey. - Hey.

  • - You dropped this.

  • Did you...

  • (both giggling)

  • Oh, wow.

  • Really got something there.

  • - You really got something there with that body, girl.

  • (woman laughing) (Adam laughing)

  • Got to be fresh

  • - Your Honor,

  • I do declare that we have a star witness

  • that we would like to call to the stand.

  • - To the what?

  • - To the stand.

  • - I don't understand a word you're saying.

  • - To the stand, to the stand.

  • - And we all were just screaming "Montez, stop,"

  • and he just continued to squeeze the life

  • out of the poor little girl scout's dalmatian.

  • It was disgusting.

  • - What?

  • - Could we get back to the case?

  • - Your Honor,

  • we are just here to tell the truth, the whole truth,

  • and nothing but the truth about a vile and disgusting man

  • who is trying to ruin our party.

  • - Could you use your regular voice, please?

  • - This young lady knows where I'm coming from.

  • Don't you, doll?

  • - Huh?

  • - Do you like pool parties, miss?

  • - Yeah.

  • - And are you available this Saturday,

  • and may I remind you, you are under oath.

  • Got to be fresh

  • - Whoa.

  • Just the boo I was looking for.

  • - Where you going?

  • - Just a little hug-a-roo for ya.

  • - I'm sorry, do I know you?

  • - (laughing) No, we know each other.

  • Last year, in the stairwell, we,

  • underneath the shirt, over the bra maneuv from the backside.

  • I like, I'll say that.

  • - I was drunker than I thought.

  • - Yeah, most def.

  • So, what has been popping off in your world?

  • I'm super interested.

  • - Look, I don't want to be rude, okay,

  • but last year was a gigantic mistake.

  • - Oh yeah, most def, for sure.

  • - You're like a five. - Yeah.

  • - And I'm looking for more of like a nine or a 10.

  • - Oh yeah, nine, 10, for sure, yeah, most def.

  • - Tall, rich, handsome, can quote funny movies.

  • - Funny movies?

  • "Yeah, baby, yeah."

  • "It's nice."

  • Got to be fresh

  • - Oh, hello.

  • Look what we have here.

  • - Whoa, what the hell.