Subtitles section Play video
-
Chapter III. A Caucus-Race and a Long Tale
-
They were indeed a queer-looking party that
-
assembled on the bank--the birds with
-
draggled feathers, the animals with their
-
fur clinging close to them, and all
-
dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable.
-
The first question of course was, how to
-
get dry again: they had a consultation
-
about this, and after a few minutes it
-
seemed quite natural to Alice to find
-
herself talking familiarly with them, as if
-
she had known them all her life.
-
Indeed, she had quite a long argument with
-
the Lory, who at last turned sulky, and
-
would only say, 'I am older than you, and
-
must know better'; and this Alice would not
-
allow without knowing how old it was, and,
-
as the Lory positively refused to tell its
-
age, there was no more to be said.
-
At last the Mouse, who seemed to be a
-
person of authority among them, called out,
-
'Sit down, all of you, and listen to me!
-
I'LL soon make you dry enough!'
-
They all sat down at once, in a large ring,
-
with the Mouse in the middle.
-
Alice kept her eyes anxiously fixed on it,
-
for she felt sure she would catch a bad
-
cold if she did not get dry very soon.
-
'Ahem!' said the Mouse with an important
-
air, 'are you all ready?
-
This is the driest thing I know.
-
Silence all round, if you please!
-
"William the Conqueror, whose cause was
-
favoured by the pope, was soon submitted to
-
by the English, who wanted leaders, and had
-
been of late much accustomed to usurpation
-
and conquest.
-
Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and
-
Northumbria--"'
-
'Ugh!' said the Lory, with a shiver.
-
'I beg your pardon!' said the Mouse,
-
frowning, but very politely: 'Did you
-
speak?'
-
'Not I!' said the Lory hastily.
-
'I thought you did,' said the Mouse.
-
'--I proceed.
-
"Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and
-
Northumbria, declared for him: and even
-
Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of
-
Canterbury, found it advisable--"'
-
'Found WHAT?' said the Duck.
-
'Found IT,' the Mouse replied rather
-
crossly: 'of course you know what "it"
-
means.'
-
'I know what "it" means well enough, when I
-
find a thing,' said the Duck: 'it's
-
generally a frog or a worm.
-
The question is, what did the archbishop
-
find?'
-
The Mouse did not notice this question, but
-
hurriedly went on, '"--found it advisable
-
to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William
-
and offer him the crown.
-
William's conduct at first was moderate.
-
But the insolence of his Normans--" How are
-
you getting on now, my dear?' it continued,
-
turning to Alice as it spoke.
-
'As wet as ever,' said Alice in a
-
melancholy tone: 'it doesn't seem to dry me
-
at all.'
-
'In that case,' said the Dodo solemnly,
-
rising to its feet, 'I move that the
-
meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption
-
of more energetic remedies--'
-
'Speak English!' said the Eaglet.
-
'I don't know the meaning of half those
-
long words, and, what's more, I don't
-
believe you do either!'
-
And the Eaglet bent down its head to hide a
-
smile: some of the other birds tittered
-
audibly.
-
'What I was going to say,' said the Dodo in
-
an offended tone, 'was, that the best thing
-
to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.'
-
'What IS a Caucus-race?' said Alice; not
-
that she wanted much to know, but the Dodo
-
had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY
-
ought to speak, and no one else seemed
-
inclined to say anything.
-
'Why,' said the Dodo, 'the best way to
-
explain it is to do it.'
-
(And, as you might like to try the thing
-
yourself, some winter day, I will tell you
-
how the Dodo managed it.)
-
First it marked out a race-course, in a
-
sort of circle, ('the exact shape doesn't
-
matter,' it said,) and then all the party
-
were placed along the course, here and
-
there.
-
There was no 'One, two, three, and away,'
-
but they began running when they liked, and
-
left off when they liked, so that it was
-
not easy to know when the race was over.
-
However, when they had been running half an
-
hour or so, and were quite dry again, the
-
Dodo suddenly called out 'The race is
-
over!' and they all crowded round it,
-
panting, and asking, 'But who has won?'
-
This question the Dodo could not answer
-
without a great deal of thought, and it sat
-
for a long time with one finger pressed
-
upon its forehead (the position in which
-
you usually see Shakespeare, in the
-
pictures of him), while the rest waited in
-
silence.
-
At last the Dodo said, 'EVERYBODY has won,
-
and all must have prizes.'
-
'But who is to give the prizes?' quite a
-
chorus of voices asked.
-
'Why, SHE, of course,' said the Dodo,
-
pointing to Alice with one finger; and the
-
whole party at once crowded round her,
-
calling out in a confused way, 'Prizes!
-
Prizes!'
-
Alice had no idea what to do, and in
-
despair she put her hand in her pocket, and
-
pulled out a box of comfits, (luckily the
-
salt water had not got into it), and handed
-
them round as prizes.
-
There was exactly one a-piece all round.
-
'But she must have a prize herself, you
-
know,' said the Mouse.
-
'Of course,' the Dodo replied very gravely.
-
'What else have you got in your pocket?' he
-
went on, turning to Alice.
-
'Only a thimble,' said Alice sadly.
-
'Hand it over here,' said the Dodo.
-
Then they all crowded round her once more,
-
while the Dodo solemnly presented the
-
thimble, saying 'We beg your acceptance of
-
this elegant thimble'; and, when it had
-
finished this short speech, they all
-
cheered.
-
Alice thought the whole thing very absurd,
-
but they all looked so grave that she did
-
not dare to laugh; and, as she could not
-
think of anything to say, she simply bowed,
-
and took the thimble, looking as solemn as
-
she could.
-
The next thing was to eat the comfits: this
-
caused some noise and confusion, as the
-
large birds complained that they could not
-
taste theirs, and the small ones choked and
-
had to be patted on the back.
-
However, it was over at last, and they sat
-
down again in a ring, and begged the Mouse
-
to tell them something more.
-
'You promised to tell me your history, you
-
know,' said Alice, 'and why it is you hate-
-
-C and D,' she added in a whisper, half
-
afraid that it would be offended again.
-
'Mine is a long and a sad tale!' said the
-
Mouse, turning to Alice, and sighing.
-
'It IS a long tail, certainly,' said Alice,
-
looking down with wonder at the Mouse's
-
tail; 'but why do you call it sad?'
-
And she kept on puzzling about it while the
-
Mouse was speaking, so that her idea of the
-
tale was something like this:--
-
| 'Fury said to a
-
| mouse, That he
-
| met in the
-
| house,
-
| "Let us
-
| both go to
-
| law: I will
-
| prosecute
-
| YOU.--Come,
-
| I'll take no
-
| denial; We
-
| must have a
-
| trial: For
-
| really this
-
| morning I've
-
| nothing
-
| to do."
-
| Said the
-
| mouse to the
-
| cur, "Such
-
| a trial,
-
| dear Sir,
-
| With
-
| no jury
-
| or judge,
-
| would be
-
| wasting
-
| our
-
| breath."
-
| "I'll be
-
| judge, I'll
-
| be jury,"
-
| Said
-
| cunning
-
| old Fury:
-
| "I'll
-
| try the
-
| whole
-
| cause,
-
| and
-
| condemn
-
| you
-
| to
-
| death."'
-
'You are not attending!' said the Mouse to
-
Alice severely.
-
'What are you thinking of?'
-
'I beg your pardon,' said Alice very
-
humbly: 'you had got to the fifth bend, I
-
think?'
-
'I had NOT!' cried the Mouse, sharply and
-
very angrily.
-
'A knot!' said Alice, always ready to make
-
herself useful, and looking anxiously about
-
her.
-
'Oh, do let me help to undo it!'
-
'I shall do nothing of the sort,' said the
-
Mouse, getting up and walking away.
-
'You insult me by talking such nonsense!'
-
'I didn't mean it!' pleaded poor Alice.
-
'But you're so easily offended, you know!'
-
The Mouse only growled in reply.
-
'Please come back and finish your story!'
-
Alice called after it; and the others all
-
joined in chorus, 'Yes, please do!' but the
-
Mouse only shook its head impatiently, and
-
walked a little quicker.
-
'What a pity it wouldn't stay!' sighed the
-
Lory, as soon as it was quite out of sight;
-
and an old Crab took the opportunity of
-
saying to her daughter 'Ah, my dear!
-
Let this be a lesson to you never to lose
-
YOUR temper!'
-
'Hold your tongue, Ma!' said the young
-
Crab, a little snappishly.
-
'You're enough to try the patience of an
-
oyster!'
-
'I wish I had our Dinah here, I know I do!'
-
said Alice aloud, addressing nobody in
-
particular.
-
'She'd soon fetch it back!'
-
'And who is Dinah, if I might venture to
-
ask the question?' said the Lory.
-
Alice replied eagerly, for she was always
-
ready to talk about her pet: 'Dinah's our
-
cat.
-
And she's such a capital one for catching
-
mice you can't think!
-
And oh, I