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  • ♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,

  • WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."

  • LET'S SAY HELLO TO MR. JON BATISTE.

  • HEY, JON, GOOD TOY SOO YOU AGAIN.

  • MAN, LAST NIGHT, WE'RE STILL HAVING TO COOL DOWN THE BUILDING

  • FROM YOUR PERFORMANCE ON THE SHOW LAST NIGHT.

  • THERE WAS STRUCTURAL DAMAGE.

  • THEY HAD TO BRING IN ENGINEERS TO SEE IF THEY COULD SHORE UP

  • THE ED SULLIVAN.

  • >> Jon: YEAH, YOU KNOW, IT WAS FOUR OF ME.

  • WHEN YOU HAVE FOUR OF ME IT'S A LOT.

  • >> Stephen: LEGALLY YOU CAN'T HAVE MORE THAN FOUR JON BATISTES

  • IN ONE LOCATION.

  • >> Jon: THAT'S RIGHT.

  • I GOT FOUR REGISTRATION NUMBERS FOR THAT GIG.

  • IT WAS BIG.

  • THE UNION HAD TO COME IN ON THAT, YOU SEE.

  • >> Stephen: IS THERE ANY MUSIC LEFT IN YOUR BODY TODAY, JON?

  • YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO FAVOR THE AMERICAN PEOPLE WITH?

  • >> Jon: YEAH, ALWAYS A LITTLE TASTE IN THIS.

  • ♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: YOU HAVE A FINE

  • WAY TO TREAT A STEINWAY.

  • MR. JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.

  • THANK YOU, JON.

  • >> Jon: LAY IT ON.

  • >> Stephen: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THERE ARE A LOT OF

  • URGENT CONCERNS FACING AMERICANS RIGHT NOW: WHEN WILL THE

  • VACCINATION RATE ALLOW US TO REACH HERD IMMUNITY?

  • HAS SOCIAL MEDIA FLUNG OUR NATION INTO AN EPISTEMOLOGICAL

  • CRISIS?

  • WHY ARE THERE SO MANY SWAMP-BASED TV SHOWS?

  • THE ISSUE IS THAT THERE ARE SO MANY BIG ISSUES, THAT SOMETIMES

  • YOU LOSE SIGHT OF THE LITTLE ISSUES BECAUSE OF SUCH BIG

  • ISSUES.

  • AND THAT'S AN ISSUE.

  • WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY RECURRING SEGMENT, "UH-OH!" WHERE WE

  • EXAMINE ISSUES THAT, ONCE YOU START THINKING ABOUT, YOU REALLY

  • WISH YOU COULD STOP THINKING ABOUT.

  • TONIGHT'S "UH-OH," BIG TECH COMPANIES LOVE TO MAKE PROMISES

  • IN ORDER TO SUCK UP THOSE SWEET SWEET STATE SUBSIDIES, LIKE THE

  • PROPOSED WISCONSIN FOXCONN PLANT THAT PROMISED 13,000 JOBS, AND

  • FOR WHICH "FOXCONN TORE UP A SMALL TOWN," "RAZED HOMES AND

  • CROPS," AND WAS PROMISED "MORE THAN $4.5 BILLION IN GOVERNMENT

  • INCENTIVES."

  • AND TO THIS DAY, THAT PLANT "STILL HASN'T BEEN BUILT."

  • PLUS, THE FOXCONN C.E.O.

  • PROMISED 76 TROMBONES!

  • PLUS, COPPER-BOTTOM TIMPANI IN HORSE PLATOONS AND DOUBLE BELL

  • EUPHONIUMS AND BIG BASSOONS!

  • THAT FELLA'S BEEN A RASPBERRY SEED IN MY WISDOM TOOTH

  • LONG ENOUGH!

  • PLUS, NOW TECH COMPANIES HAVE REALIZED THERE'S A MAJOR

  • PROBLEM WITH STRIPPING LOCAL COMMUNITIES FOR THEIR GOLD

  • FILLINGS AND TAX BASE: THE HASSLE OF HAVING TO LIE FIRST.

  • BUT THERE'S A SOLUTION TO THE PROBLEM OF ANY PUBLIC

  • ACCOUNTABILITY, BECAUSE IN ORDER TO ATTRACT JOBS AND INVESTMENT,

  • "A NEW NEVADA BILL WOULD ALLOW TECH COMPANIES TO CREATE THEIR

  • OWN GOVERNMENTS," "ESTABLISHING NEW BUSINESS AREAS WHERE THEY

  • CAN FORM SEPARATE LOCAL GOVERNMENTS," WHICH PROVIDE

  • SERVICES AND IMPOSE TAXES.

  • UH-OH.

  • I, FOR ONE, DO NOT WANT TO LIVE IN THE PRINCIPALITY OF

  • "GOOGLETOWN."

  • YOU WON'T BE ALLOWED TO BUY GOOGLEMILK AT THE GOOGLEMART

  • UNLESS YOU BUY A GOOGLE GLASS!

  • NO ONE WANTS IT!

  • STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT GOOGLE HAPPEN!

  • NOW, ENCOURAGING INNOVATIVE COMPANIES TO COME TO YOUR STATE

  • IS A GOOD THING, BUT NOT IF THEY REPLACE THE STATE.

  • AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THIS PROPOSES, WHICH LEADS TO MY

  • "UH-OH" SUB-SEGMENT: "YIKES!" THESE CORPORATE GOVERNMENTS

  • WOULDN'T EVEN BE SUBJECT TO LOCAL GOVERNMENT.

  • THEY WOULD BE CARVED OUT SEPARATELY AS SO-CALLED

  • "INNOVATION ZONES," AND WOULD BE GIVEN THE SAME AUTHORITY AS

  • COUNTIES.

  • YIKES!

  • WE ALREADY HAVE A WORD FOR MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE WHO HOLD

  • THE SAME POWER AS GOVERNMENTS: IT'S CALLED "FEUDALISM."

  • YOU REALLY WANT TO ESTABLISH A SOCIETY BASED ON THE MIDDLE

  • AGES?

  • GOOD LUCK, BECAUSE THE HOSPITAL YOU WILL NO LONGER HAVE THE

  • CORPORATE TAXES TO PAY FOR IS NOW JUST GOING TO BE A BUCKET OF

  • LEECHES.

  • SUCKER!

  • NOW, YOU MAY BE ASKING, CAN ANYONE WHO OWNS A RADIOSHACK

  • FRANCHISE FOUND THEIR OWN GOVERNMENT IN NEVADA?

  • THE ANSWER IS NO, BUT THAT'S SOMEHOW LESS COMFORTING,

  • WHICH LEADS ME TO MY "YIKES!" SUB-SUB-SEGMENT: "GULP!"

  • ACCORDING TO THE PROPOSED LAW, THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO COULD APPLY

  • FOR AN "INNOVATION ZONE" WOULD NEED TO HAVE ENOUGH MONEY, ACRES

  • UPON ACRES OF UNDEVELOPED LAND, AND AN "INNOVATIVE TECHNOLOGY."

  • GULP!

  • THOSE ARE THREE CONDITIONS BETTER KNOWN AS THE BOND VILLAIN

  • COMBO.

  • AND IT'S HAPPENING AS I SPEAK.

  • A COMPANY CALLED BLOCKCHAINS L.L.C. HAS ALREADY COMMITTED TO

  • BUILDING A "SMART CITY" THAT WILL RUN ON ITS TECHNOLOGY.

  • GULP!

  • BLOCKCHAIN IS WHAT THEY USE FOR CRYPTOCURRENCY, YOU KNOW, THE

  • MADE-UP MONEY FOR DRUG LORDS, HIT MEN, AND GUYS ON TINDER WHO

  • WANT TO EXPLAIN WHAT BLOCKCHAIN IS!

  • THIS IS A BAD ROAD TO GO DOWN, FOLKS, BECAUSE IF WE START

  • HANDING OVER OUR INDEPENDENT GOVERNMENT TO THE INTERESTS OF

  • PRIVATE INDUSTRY JUST FOR JOBS AND INVESTMENT, THE NEXT THING

  • YOU KNOW, WE'LL BE SPENDING BILLIONS IN PUBLIC FUNDS TO A

  • LEAGUE THAT PAYS NO TAXES FOR FOOTBALL STADIUMS THAT IT ONLY

  • USES FOR EIGHT GAMES A YEAR-- WHAT?!!

  • UH-OH!

  • WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH STAR OF "WANDAVISION," PAUL BETTANY.

  • ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,

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B1 TheLateShow jon gulp nevada yikes stephen

Uh-Oh, Nevada Wants To Let Corporations Form Their Own Governments

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    林宜悉 posted on 2021/03/04
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