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  • (Music) This is the human test,

  • a test to see if you are a human.

  • Please raise your hand if something applies to you.

  • Are we agreed? Yes?

  • Then let's begin.

  • Have you ever eaten a booger

  • long past your childhood?

  • (Laughter)

  • It's okay, it's safe here.

  • Have you ever made a small, weird sound

  • when you remembered something embarrassing?

  • Have you ever purposely lowercased

  • the first letter of a text

  • in order to come across as sad or disappointed?

  • (Laughter)

  • Okay.

  • Have you ever ended a text with a period

  • as a sign of aggression? Okay. Period.

  • Have you ever laughed or smiled

  • when someone said something shitty to you

  • and then spent the rest of the day

  • wondering why you reacted that way?

  • Yes.

  • Have you ever seemed to lose your airplane ticket

  • a thousand times as you walked

  • from the check-in to the gate?

  • Yes.

  • Have you ever put on a pair of pants

  • and then much later realized that there was

  • a loose sock smushed up against your thigh?

  • (Laughter)

  • Good.

  • Have you ever tried to guess someone else's password

  • so many times that it locked their account?

  • Mmm.

  • Have you ever had a nagging feeling that one day

  • you will be discovered as a fraud?

  • Yes, it's safe here.

  • Have you ever hoped that there was some ability

  • you hadn't discovered yet

  • that you were just naturally great at?

  • Mmm.

  • Have you ever broken something in real life,

  • and then found yourself looking

  • for an "undo" button in real life?

  • Have you ever misplaced your TED badge

  • and then immediately started imagining

  • what a three-day Vancouver vacation might look like?

  • Have you ever marveled

  • at how someone you thought was so ordinary

  • could suddenly become so beautiful?

  • Have you ever stared at your phone

  • smiling like an idiot while texting with someone?

  • Have you ever subsequently texted that person

  • the phrase "I'm staring at the phone

  • smiling like an idiot"?

  • Have you ever been tempted to,

  • and then gave in to the temptation,

  • of looking through someone else's phone?

  • Have you ever had a conversation with yourself

  • and then suddenly realized

  • you're a real asshole to yourself?

  • (Laughter)

  • Has your phone ever run out of battery

  • in the middle of an argument,

  • and it sort of felt like the phone

  • was breaking up with both of you?

  • Have you ever thought

  • that working on an issue between you was futile

  • because it should just be easier than this,

  • or this is supposed to happen just naturally?

  • Have you ever realized that very little, in the long run,

  • just happens naturally?

  • Have you ever woken up blissfully

  • and suddenly been flooded by the awful remembrance

  • that someone had left you?

  • Have you ever lost the ability to imagine a future

  • without a person

  • that no longer was in your life?

  • Have you ever looked back on that event

  • with the sad smile of autumn

  • and the realization that futures will happen

  • regardless?

  • Congratulations.

  • You have now completed the test.

  • You are all human.

  • (Applause)

(Music) This is the human test,

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A2 US TED laughter naturally human suddenly realized

【TED】Ze Frank: Are you human? (Ze Frank: Are you human?)

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    Colin Lin posted on 2014/07/20
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