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♪♪♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
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WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."
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LET'S CHECK IN WITH MY FRIEND AND YOURS, THE FUTURE, THE SOUND
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OF AMERICA, MR. JON BATISTE.
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JON, HOW ARE YOU?
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>> Jon: I'M WELL.
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WHO WAS YOUR WEEKEND?
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>> Stephen: IT WAS FINE.
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IT RAINED BUT EVERYTHING WAS GREAT.
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HEY, I WANT TO ASK YOU ABOUT YOUR WEEKEND.
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YOU DID THIS THING WHERE YOU'RE HELPING TO POWER UP NEW YORK'S
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ART SCENE AGAIN.
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I READ ABOUT THIS IN "THE WASHINGTON POST."
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WHAT DID Y'ALL DO THIS WEEKEND?
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>> WE PLAYED AT THE JAVITS CENTER FOR THE ESSENTIAL
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WORKERS.
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THE BAND AND I AND TAP DANCERS AND PLAYERS PLAYED FOR THE
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WORKERS GIVING THE VACCINES.
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IT'S PART OF A 100-DAY FESTIVAL GOVERNOR CUOMO CALLED US TO BE A
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PART OF, AND I'M GOING TO BE POPPING UP AS WELL AS OTHER
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GREAT ARTISTS AND MUSICIANS.
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>> Stephen: COUNTER TENOR, THAT'S SUPER HIGH, RIGHT?
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>> Jon: VERY HIGH.
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>> Stephen: HOW HIGH CAN A COUNTERTENOR HIT?
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GIVE ME THE NOTE THERE.
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>> Jon: COUNTER TENOR IS PROBABLY SOMEWHERE -- OOOH,
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OOOH.
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THAT'S THE HIGHEST RANGE, THE D-A.
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AAAHHH!
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LET ME HEAR YOU.
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>> Stephen: AAAHHH!
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AAAHHH!
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>> Jon: THAT'S ALSO A TAMBER YOU GOT.
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>> Stephen: THAT'S MY COUNTER TAM BEER.
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♪♪♪ JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.
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♪♪♪ >> Stephen: FOLKS, I SPEND A
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LOT OF MY TIME HEWING THE FINEST TOPICAL NEWS
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STONES FROM THE NEARBY INFORMATION QUARRY, HIRING THE
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MOST CUTTING EDGE ARCHITECTS TO EMPLOY A COMPLEX SERIES OF RAMPS
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AND PULLEYS TO DELICATELY DEPOSIT THEM WITH INCH-PERFECT
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PRECISION TO CREATE FOR YOU THE EPIC, AWE-INSPIRING PYRAMID OF
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KUFU THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.
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BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES I LIKE TO GRAB A RUSTY SHOVEL, DIG A
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HOLE IN A CULVERT, FILL IT WITH ROADKILL BONES, OLD BICYCLES,
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AND YESTERDAYS COFFEE GRINDS, THEN TOP IT OFF WITH SOME USED
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CAT LITTER, POWDERED LIME, AND QUICK DRYING CONCRETE TO SEAL
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THE RAMSHACKLE BURIAL CHAMBER OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT:
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"QUARANTINE-WHILE!" QUARANTINE-WHILE, "THE WORLD'S
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FIRST 3-D-PRINTED RIB-EYE HAS BEEN UNVEILED."
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MMM.
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THAT SURE LOOKS... LIKE A COMPUTER'S IDEA OF MEAT.
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I ALWAYS ASK THE WAITER "IS THE STEAK DAMP TONIGHT?
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HOW DAMP IS IT?" THE PROCESS INVOLVES "GROWING
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MEAT TISSUES FROM PUNCH BIOPSIES FROM LIVE OR SLAUGHTERED
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ANIMALS," THEN "PRINTING LIVING CELLS THAT ARE INCUBATED ON A
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PLANT-BASED MATRIX TO GROW" WHAT SOME CALL "ALT-MEAT."
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NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE UNDERGROUND BEEFCAKE MAG I POSE
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FOR AS MY SIDE HUSTLE.
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IT'LL BE A WHILE BEFORE YOU CAN BUY THE STEAKS, BECAUSE
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ACCORDING TO REPORTS "THE U.S.D.A. AND F.D.A. DON'T YET
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HAVE A REGULATORY FRAMEWORK TO BRING IT TO MARKET."
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WHICH IS LEGAL-SPEAK FOR "WE DON'T KNOW --
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( LAUGHTER ) -- WHICH IS LEGAL-SPEAK FOR WHAT
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IS THAT?!
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I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS!
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KILL IT!
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KILL IT WITH FIRE!
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AND THEN GIVE ME A SLICE."
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QUARANTINE-WHILE, BLIZZCON, THE ANNUAL GAMING CONVENTION, WA
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-- PEOPLE KNOW WHAT BLIZCON IS, THAT'S PATRONIZING -- WAS
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HELD OVER THE WEEKEND, AND THEY BOOKED METALLICA TO PLAY.
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JUST ONE PROBLEM: WHILE BLIZZARD CLEARED THE RIGHTS TO STREAM
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THEIR MUSIC, THE HOSTING PLATFORM, TWITCH, DIDN'T, AND
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PARTWAY THROUGH THE SONG THEY PANICKED AND SWITCHED THE MUSIC.
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IT'S SUBTLE.
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SEE IF YOU CAN SPOT THE MOMENT IT HAPPENS.
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♪♪♪ (MUSIC ABRUPTLY CHANGES)
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♪♪♪ (MUSIC ABRUPTLY CHANGES)
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OOOH!
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GIRL, ARE YOU DELIVERING FOOD IN NEW YORK, BECAUSE THAT WAS
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SEAMLESS!
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MUAH!
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BUT I CAN SYMPATHIZE.
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I JUST HAD METALLICA ON MY SHOW TWO WEEKS AGO, AND CBS FORGOT TO
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CLEAR "ENTER SANDMAN" SO THEY HAD TO SCRAMBLE TO SUB IN THE
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CLOSEST THING THEY COULD FIND: ( ENTER SANDMAN )
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♪♪♪ ( BAG TYPES )
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♪♪♪ OH, MY.
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OH, MY.
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OH, MY.
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YEAH.
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QUARANTINE-WHILE, A GUY CALLED -- QUARANTINE WHILE, THERE'S BIG
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NEWS FOR PEOPLE WITH BIG EARS BECAUSE
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BARACK OBAMA AND BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN ANNOUNCED A NEW
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PODCAST CALLED "RENEGADES: BORN IN THE U.S.A."
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WHICH IS A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS.
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WERE THEY REALLY BOTH BORN IN THE U.S.A.?
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SPRINGSTEEN LOOKS KENYAN TO ME.
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RELEASE YOUR LONG-FORM BIRTH CERTIFICATE, BRUCE!
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I'M EXCITED ABOUT THIS, PARTIALLY BECAUSE IT'LL BE A
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FASCINATING CONVERSATION BETWEEN TWO AMERICAN ICONS, BUT MOSTLY
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BECAUSE OF THE PART OF EVERY PODCAST WHERE THE HOST HAS TO
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START PLUGGING THEIR SPONSORS.
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I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR BRUCE GIVE IT A GO.
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♪ HEY LITTLE GIRL IS YOUR DADDY HOME ♪
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♪ DID HE GO TO THE POST-OFFICE AND LEAVE YOU ALONE ♪
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♪ OH TELL YOUR MOM ♪ ♪ OH STAMPS.com ♪
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BACK WITH BILL GATES!