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  • ♪♪♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!

  • WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW."

  • LET'S CHECK IN WITH MY FRIEND AND YOURS, THE FUTURE, THE SOUND

  • OF AMERICA, MR. JON BATISTE.

  • JON, HOW ARE YOU?

  • >> Jon: I'M WELL.

  • WHO WAS YOUR WEEKEND?

  • >> Stephen: IT WAS FINE.

  • IT RAINED BUT EVERYTHING WAS GREAT.

  • HEY, I WANT TO ASK YOU ABOUT YOUR WEEKEND.

  • YOU DID THIS THING WHERE YOU'RE HELPING TO POWER UP NEW YORK'S

  • ART SCENE AGAIN.

  • I READ ABOUT THIS IN "THE WASHINGTON POST."

  • WHAT DID Y'ALL DO THIS WEEKEND?

  • >> WE PLAYED AT THE JAVITS CENTER FOR THE ESSENTIAL

  • WORKERS.

  • THE BAND AND I AND TAP DANCERS AND PLAYERS PLAYED FOR THE

  • WORKERS GIVING THE VACCINES.

  • IT'S PART OF A 100-DAY FESTIVAL GOVERNOR CUOMO CALLED US TO BE A

  • PART OF, AND I'M GOING TO BE POPPING UP AS WELL AS OTHER

  • GREAT ARTISTS AND MUSICIANS.

  • >> Stephen: COUNTER TENOR, THAT'S SUPER HIGH, RIGHT?

  • >> Jon: VERY HIGH.

  • >> Stephen: HOW HIGH CAN A COUNTERTENOR HIT?

  • GIVE ME THE NOTE THERE.

  • >> Jon: COUNTER TENOR IS PROBABLY SOMEWHERE -- OOOH,

  • OOOH.

  • THAT'S THE HIGHEST RANGE, THE D-A.

  • AAAHHH!

  • LET ME HEAR YOU.

  • >> Stephen: AAAHHH!

  • AAAHHH!

  • >> Jon: THAT'S ALSO A TAMBER YOU GOT.

  • >> Stephen: THAT'S MY COUNTER TAM BEER.

  • ♪♪♪ JON BATISTE, EVERYBODY.

  • ♪♪♪ >> Stephen: FOLKS, I SPEND A

  • LOT OF MY TIME HEWING THE FINEST TOPICAL NEWS

  • STONES FROM THE NEARBY INFORMATION QUARRY, HIRING THE

  • MOST CUTTING EDGE ARCHITECTS TO EMPLOY A COMPLEX SERIES OF RAMPS

  • AND PULLEYS TO DELICATELY DEPOSIT THEM WITH INCH-PERFECT

  • PRECISION TO CREATE FOR YOU THE EPIC, AWE-INSPIRING PYRAMID OF

  • KUFU THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.

  • BUT SOMETIMES, SOMETIMES I LIKE TO GRAB A RUSTY SHOVEL, DIG A

  • HOLE IN A CULVERT, FILL IT WITH ROADKILL BONES, OLD BICYCLES,

  • AND YESTERDAYS COFFEE GRINDS, THEN TOP IT OFF WITH SOME USED

  • CAT LITTER, POWDERED LIME, AND QUICK DRYING CONCRETE TO SEAL

  • THE RAMSHACKLE BURIAL CHAMBER OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT:

  • "QUARANTINE-WHILE!" QUARANTINE-WHILE, "THE WORLD'S

  • FIRST 3-D-PRINTED RIB-EYE HAS BEEN UNVEILED."

  • MMM.

  • THAT SURE LOOKS... LIKE A COMPUTER'S IDEA OF MEAT.

  • I ALWAYS ASK THE WAITER "IS THE STEAK DAMP TONIGHT?

  • HOW DAMP IS IT?" THE PROCESS INVOLVES "GROWING

  • MEAT TISSUES FROM PUNCH BIOPSIES FROM LIVE OR SLAUGHTERED

  • ANIMALS," THEN "PRINTING LIVING CELLS THAT ARE INCUBATED ON A

  • PLANT-BASED MATRIX TO GROW" WHAT SOME CALL "ALT-MEAT."

  • NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE UNDERGROUND BEEFCAKE MAG I POSE

  • FOR AS MY SIDE HUSTLE.

  • IT'LL BE A WHILE BEFORE YOU CAN BUY THE STEAKS, BECAUSE

  • ACCORDING TO REPORTS "THE U.S.D.A. AND F.D.A. DON'T YET

  • HAVE A REGULATORY FRAMEWORK TO BRING IT TO MARKET."

  • WHICH IS LEGAL-SPEAK FOR "WE DON'T KNOW --

  • ( LAUGHTER ) -- WHICH IS LEGAL-SPEAK FOR WHAT

  • IS THAT?!

  • I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS!

  • KILL IT!

  • KILL IT WITH FIRE!

  • AND THEN GIVE ME A SLICE."

  • QUARANTINE-WHILE, BLIZZCON, THE ANNUAL GAMING CONVENTION, WA

  • -- PEOPLE KNOW WHAT BLIZCON IS, THAT'S PATRONIZING -- WAS

  • HELD OVER THE WEEKEND, AND THEY BOOKED METALLICA TO PLAY.

  • JUST ONE PROBLEM: WHILE BLIZZARD CLEARED THE RIGHTS TO STREAM

  • THEIR MUSIC, THE HOSTING PLATFORM, TWITCH, DIDN'T, AND

  • PARTWAY THROUGH THE SONG THEY PANICKED AND SWITCHED THE MUSIC.

  • IT'S SUBTLE.

  • SEE IF YOU CAN SPOT THE MOMENT IT HAPPENS.

  • ♪♪♪ (MUSIC ABRUPTLY CHANGES)

  • ♪♪♪ (MUSIC ABRUPTLY CHANGES)

  • OOOH!

  • GIRL, ARE YOU DELIVERING FOOD IN NEW YORK, BECAUSE THAT WAS

  • SEAMLESS!

  • MUAH!

  • BUT I CAN SYMPATHIZE.

  • I JUST HAD METALLICA ON MY SHOW TWO WEEKS AGO, AND CBS FORGOT TO

  • CLEAR "ENTER SANDMAN" SO THEY HAD TO SCRAMBLE TO SUB IN THE

  • CLOSEST THING THEY COULD FIND: ( ENTER SANDMAN )

  • ♪♪♪ ( BAG TYPES )

  • ♪♪♪ OH, MY.

  • OH, MY.

  • OH, MY.

  • YEAH.

  • QUARANTINE-WHILE, A GUY CALLED -- QUARANTINE WHILE, THERE'S BIG

  • NEWS FOR PEOPLE WITH BIG EARS BECAUSE

  • BARACK OBAMA AND BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN ANNOUNCED A NEW

  • PODCAST CALLED "RENEGADES: BORN IN THE U.S.A."

  • WHICH IS A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS.

  • WERE THEY REALLY BOTH BORN IN THE U.S.A.?

  • SPRINGSTEEN LOOKS KENYAN TO ME.

  • RELEASE YOUR LONG-FORM BIRTH CERTIFICATE, BRUCE!

  • I'M EXCITED ABOUT THIS, PARTIALLY BECAUSE IT'LL BE A

  • FASCINATING CONVERSATION BETWEEN TWO AMERICAN ICONS, BUT MOSTLY

  • BECAUSE OF THE PART OF EVERY PODCAST WHERE THE HOST HAS TO

  • START PLUGGING THEIR SPONSORS.

  • I CAN'T WAIT TO HEAR BRUCE GIVE IT A GO.

  • HEY LITTLE GIRL IS YOUR DADDY HOME

  • DID HE GO TO THE POST-OFFICE AND LEAVE YOU ALONE

  • OH TELL YOUR MOM ♪ ♪ OH STAMPS.com

  • BACK WITH BILL GATES!

♪♪♪ >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!

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B1 TheLateShow jon stephen quarantine metallica weekend

Quarantinewhile... Twitch Dubs Over Metallica

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    林宜悉 posted on 2021/02/23
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