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- I just have a bit about watching Basketball Wives
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and loving it, and my black guy friend says,
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"Doesn't that make, doesn't that show
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"make black women look terrible?"
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And I'm like,
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"Nah, it makes those black women look terrible.
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"I look fantastic up on the couch drinking my drink.
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"I ain't throwing it at anybody."
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My homie was like, "Okay, okay, all right.
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"It makes black women look terrible, you cool with it.
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"But doesn't it bother you these women are on TV
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"because they use their bodies to get money from athletes?
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"Doesn't that bother you?"
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Why would that bother me?
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Men get so mad at women for getting by on their looks
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like it's not men letting women get by on their looks.
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It's not me doing it.
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I've never given a pretty bitch anything.
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Not homework help, not a pencil case, not a cake recipe.
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Evelyn's on TV 'cause you like titties.
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It has nothing to do with me.
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So many rappers, athletes, all this,
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they get so mad at gold diggers.
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They're so punitive on black women who want to come up,
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but they use their money to get women.
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It's such a bogus thing.
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It's a patriarchy you set up that is making you unhappy.
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And I think it's really shitty that we're projecting
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all these things of the responsibility
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of black presentation to people.
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Women who are on TV, on a reality show,
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have to be reflective of positive black women,
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and what's to say that their version
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of blackness isn't good?
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And the idea that something shouldn't be on TV
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'cause it makes the rest of us look bad
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is punishing us for white people's shitty understandings
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or views of us.
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So now we have to perform blackness in a way
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that's responsible, so white people could respect us?
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They're not gonna respect us anyway.
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Put more kinds of black people on TV,
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so that we don't sort of have any
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monolithic poor or good stereotypes,
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that you represent the variances.
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(light music)
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- Well, the politics of comedy as a black woman?
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Ha!
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Where can I start?
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It's a hard, long sluck.
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- You know, 'cause people always think I'm nice and shit
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'cause I wear bright colors and I have dimples,
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but I'm a raging bitch on the inside, you have no idea,
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'cause I've been nice for 30 years and I'm tired.
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I used to be a skinny white bitch from Maryland.
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I just, I'm so tired.
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For me, as a black woman,
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I wanna hear the black female perspective too.
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I think we have a lot of examples of black men,
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from Dave Chappelle to Chris Rock, who have their opinions
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and people sort of respect their opinion as,
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"This is the black experience",
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and there's really no black women
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who are really able to have that kind of platform.
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I mean, I think it's changing a little bit
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and hopefully I'll be one of the people
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that can help change that.
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- Oh, they don't think women is funny.
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And a lot of times,
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women get caught up with sleeping with people.
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Nobody wanted me, I wanted to fight all the time
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and I demanded respect.
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I think that's why I put Ms in the front of my name.
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Ms Pat is my stage name.
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They say we're not funny.
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"All women talk about the same thing", that's not true.
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You know how many white boys out here do cat jokes?
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I hate cat jokes.
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- As a woman in this business,
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it's hard enough to get bookings
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in the headlining spots anyway,
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and as a black woman, that counts against you even more.
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It's the same in Hollywood.
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It's the same in every industry though, that's the thing.
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It's not just comedy.
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I used to be an engineer.
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I worked as an engineer
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and I came up against the same problems
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being a female engineer in a male dominated industry,
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and a black female engineer at that.
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- When it comes to being a black woman in comedy,
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I have to compete with black men to get their respect.
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They push the limits, they talk a lot of shit,
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they wanna see if you can handle it.
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The worst thing you can do being a woman in comedy
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is to have a mental breakdown or cry.
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If you get upset or take anything personally,
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they're like, "Oh you can't handle this,
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"Why are you doing this?"
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So it is a lot of verbal abuse, but you just have to know
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how to dish it back, and most of the time, when it comes,
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it can come from a jealous place
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or it can come from a place of being like,
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"I wanna see what you're made of, I wanna test you."
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- All fucking day and night, you get text text text.
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You know why, ladies?
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A man wanna communicate with you,
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but they don't wanna fucking talk to you.
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(audience laughs)
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If a man can get you out your house, across town
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and in his bed and never hear your fucking voice,
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that is a fucking Christmas present every day
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for fucking men.
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See?
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Look at these motherfuckers.
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- Men don't like when women talk,
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so trying to navigate a world where men want you to shut up
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and girls learn that girls should shut up,
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so you've gotta find a way to make people
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who don't like the tone of your voice
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or your pitch to listen.
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If you talk about girl shit, it's not funny.
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Men talk about their dicks all the time,
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but if you talk about your pussy or your period
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or dating or feeling insecure about your body,
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now it's a girly bit,
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when insecurity is a universal experience.
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- Yes, that's a lot of moving.
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I'm on my period, so.
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(audience laughs)
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I can't be shaking it up and down.
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I got a fat pad.
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You know, they got fat pads now for fat bitches.
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This is what happens, they want it to be a war
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between skinny bitches and fat bitches over pads.
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The fat pad is so different than the skinny pad
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'cause the skinny pad for the skinny bitches has integrity.
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(audience laughs)
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It's in a little purple box
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and it's got Always written in calligraphy.
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In the commercial, the bitch is like, "Always".
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And you're like, "What, bitch?
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"You got what?"
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"Always.
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"Shh, I'm bleeding."
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(audience laughs)
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And then the fat pad is called Forever, and...
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(audience laughs)
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It's in a big black box with chains.
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(audience laughs)
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And there's three dudes in the commercial beatboxing,
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"P-p-pads!"
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And the fat bitch comes out through the smoke,
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"Hey, I'm on my period, ah!
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"I'm bleeding to death!"
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- And then you add blackness on top of it.
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You have people, black people even have told me this,
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"Don't talk about race too much.
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"You don't wanna alienate the audience."
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And it's like, well that's, I guess, 95% of my experience,
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race, so you're asking me to not be an authentic human,
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so as to please.
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So you're basically asking me to do white dude comedy
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and I'm not a white dude, so it's not gonna work.
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It took a while, but I got to the point
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where I'm gonna talk about race because I feel like it.
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I was talking to this white guy,
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and there's this thing that happens with white guys
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where they don't know black women are people,
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so they say the weirdest things to you.
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Like this dude, he was like, "Hey, I'm hot, you're hot.
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"Let's make beautiful interracial babies together."
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I know.
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I looked at him and I was like, "Nah."
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Not 'cause I'm against interracial dating,
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please, have a marble swirl cake party.
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That's good for you.
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But he said beautiful interracial babies, and I'm shallow,
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and I'm petty, so why would I purposely get with you
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to make a person hotter than me?
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Why would I do that?
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That's ridiculous.
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'Cause home's supposed to be a sanctuary,
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so how is Mommy supposed to love herself
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when there's some Lisa Bonet, Halle Berry looking ass kid
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sitting on my couch, watching SpongeBob
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with her pretty green eyes.
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No!
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Fuck out of here.
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- I'm sure a lot of female comics have crazy stories
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of comics hitting on them.
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I remember one time I was on the road.
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I bombed, I bombed really badly that night,
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and the headliner, he called me.
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He was just like, "How are you doing?"
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And I was just like, "Ah, I'm feeling down."
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And he was just like,
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"Oh, why don't you come over to my room?"
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Now in hindsight, I'm listening to that, I'm just like,
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"Well this sounds like some bullshit or a setup",
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but I had just bombed.
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I bombed for 20 minutes straight, I'm feeling down.
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This guy seemed nice enough and he's just like,
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"Oh, come through."
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I didn't wanna sit there by myself,
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so I was like, "All right."
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So I came in and dude answered the door naked.
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I mean, so it's like, shit like that happens
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and you're just like, "What the fuck is going on here?"
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So at that point, I'm just like,
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"Well I guess I'm gonna have to be sad by myself in my room
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"'cause he's clearly letting me know
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"that he's offered me dick.
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"I don't think he just accidentally got out the shower
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"and didn't have a chance to put clothes on."
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- A lot of times, you hear black male comics
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talk about black women, 'cause that's the first thing
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that they can touch, and it's, sometimes it's disparaging.
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It's always the, "And you know, my girlfriend, and she,"
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and it's like, not every,
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all you motherfuckers is dating the same hood ass bitch?
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And then half the time, you see them and it's like,
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you're not, you're giving this experience of a black woman
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but you're not even with a black woman,
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so that can be frustrating.
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Comedy is important.
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People take that shit seriously,
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and if that's the way you're presenting black women,
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that's why we're having a lot of problems we have,
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and I could say that for black women as well,
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how they represent black men.
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It's not every time you talk about black people,
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we broke, we poor, we ignorant,
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we don't know what's going on.
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You can go further than that for a joke.
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- I tweeted a joke.
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The Mayweather McGregor fight was happening,
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and the joke was,
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"Being a black woman is hating a shitty black dude
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"but still having to root for him
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"because the white dudes who hate him
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"are a little too 'heritage, not hate'."
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I had all of these people calling me a racist,
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sending me pictures of Trump,
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sending me pictures of Mayweather and Trump.
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Pictures of Trump in your phone feel like terrorism.
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All I wanted to do was talk about the complicated identity
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of being a black woman loyal to black men who also harm you,
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and when that loyalty sort of supersedes any frustrations