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  • - Maybe my bitterness over Lara Jean's life choices

  • comes in the fact that I've never

  • had boys chasing me quite in the same way.

  • But I swear to God, if Jordan Fisher was chasing me,

  • I would not be running away,

  • I'll be staying right where I was,

  • ignoring the world around me

  • and letting him love me like he should.

  • Hi, it's Michael here.

  • Welcome back to my kitchen for a wee bit of baking.

  • Now, to celebrate the release of "All the Boys Three",

  • we are going to be making some vegan chocolate butter,

  • no, chocolate, oh, we're going to cut this together.

  • It's going to work. (beep)

  • We are going to be making some vegan chocolate

  • peanut butter cupcakes, which Lara Jean

  • makes in the second film for John Ambrose,

  • who is the boy she should be with,

  • none of this Noah Santino nonsense.

  • (beep)

  • To start with, we're gonna make some jam,

  • which is actually really easy

  • even though I don't tend to make it.

  • My mum makes it, so what's the point?

  • So, we've got a saucepan out

  • and it's super simple.

  • It's just equal quantities of raspberries

  • and equal quantities of jam sugar.

  • So I'm putting in 200 grams of raspberries

  • and 200 grams of jam sugar.

  • And then pop just like a wee bit of lemon juice in there.

  • I don't know if that does anything.

  • It tastes nice though.

  • And a wee bit of vanilla as well.

  • Lovely, delicious.

  • And then we just mash that up together

  • with like a fork or something.

  • Hang on.

  • Oh.

  • (drawer banging)

  • Fucks sake.

  • There we go.

  • Got one. (beep)

  • Mash that altogether a wee bit.

  • And then we're gonna pop that over the hob

  • on a low to medium heat, (banging)

  • slowly bringing it up to the boil.

  • The seagulls are back.

  • Fucking seagulls.

  • (beep)

  • Okay, so you want to keep an eye on that.

  • You don't want it to burn.

  • The reason we're not putting it on to a high temperature,

  • is so the sugar doesn't catch on the bottom.

  • But basically, you're going to make it,

  • swirl together until it kind of forms a liquid.

  • It's just start boiling.

  • And then we're going to boil

  • until it hits a certain temperature, which I can't remember.

  • I'm gonna have to read my notes.

  • So, this may be vegan, but it's genuinely delicious,

  • I promise.

  • For all you meat-eaters out there, it is genuinely fine.

  • It's actually, I don't think that you can tell,

  • which is what vegan baking should be.

  • (beep)

  • So, Lara Jean seems to be a stress baker, can relate,

  • but I promise this one's gonna be fine.

  • It's genuinely as simple as putting things in a bowl

  • and putting that into the oven.

  • I promise it will be okay.

  • If Lara Jean can do it, you can.

  • Look at her life choices.

  • Still bitter about the John Ambrose thing.

  • Don't mind me.

  • (beep)

  • With jam, we're gonna bring it to 105 degrees Celsius

  • and that's 220 degrees Fahrenheit.

  • I've got a wee thermometer I did not steal

  • from the "Bake Off" tent, but you can get thermometers

  • in most shops or online.

  • But if you don't want to get a thermometer,

  • although it is easier,

  • you just need to put a plate into the freezer.

  • And basically, once the jam,

  • if you put like a wee bit of the jam

  • onto the frozen plate, if it rolls down, it's not ready,

  • but if it kind of stays in place, it is ready.

  • Just get a thermometer.

  • (beep)

  • That sounded quite professional, didn't it?

  • Like I knew what I was doing.

  • Thanks so much.

  • Thank you.

  • Maybe my bitterness over Lara Jean's life choices

  • comes in the fact that I've never

  • had boys chasing me quite in the same way.

  • But that's, I swear to God, if Jordan Fisher was chasing me,

  • I would not be running away,

  • I'll be staying right where I was,

  • ignoring the world around me

  • and letting him love me like he should.

  • What is with her?

  • But yeah, no, it probably comes from jealousy

  • to be honest, very single,

  • feel free to put your email addresses,

  • email addresses?

  • Phone numbers?

  • WhatsApp?

  • Tinder?

  • Grindr?

  • What do people use now?

  • Hinge?

  • Don't know what that is.

  • (beep)

  • It's annoyingly slow this process,

  • but it is worth it.

  • I can't take my words.

  • I mean, this is the hardest part of the recipe

  • and it's literally just standing, waiting.

  • So, I mean, I think you're going to be okay.

  • Okay, we must be nearly there.

  • Hang on.

  • Annoyingly, you can't just cheat it, you have to wait.

  • But it is worth getting a jar ready.

  • Mine says, "Strawberries" on it.

  • That's irrelevant.

  • And you can sterilize your jars as well.

  • If you pop them into the oven at like a medium temperature

  • for about 15 minutes, it sterilizes them.

  • My jam is playing hard to get,

  • it's been like two degrees under what I need it to be

  • for about five minutes.

  • But it's pissing me off, that's what I'll tell you.

  • There you are, don't know what you can do about that.

  • (beep)

  • So the jam is teasing me.

  • It's two degrees off, which is very infuriating,

  • but not stressful because baking

  • is definitely therapeutic and never, never challenging.

  • And it's a really good way of processing your emotions.

  • No, genuinely, baking is a good way

  • of processing your emotions.

  • It's frustrating, but it's been lovely.

  • I mean, it's saved my skin over the past 15 years,

  • that it's been.

  • When are we getting out of lockdown?

  • I'm actually tired of being in this kitchen.

  • Wouldn't it be nice for me to be in someone else's kitchen?

  • That'd be lovely.

  • I think we might be done.

  • Are we done?

  • I need to carry this.

  • (beep)

  • Maybe I should try baking for boys

  • and maybe they'll love me then.

  • Message that in the comment below with your email addresses.

  • (laughs) Will you love me if I bake for you?

  • Please love me.

  • Please love me.

  • It's not even a joke now.

  • Love me. (laughs)

  • Maybe, 'cause I was about to say to give these to people,

  • but I can't give these to people,

  • because we're all in lockdown.

  • Isn't this great?

  • Isn't this a lovely moment we're sharing together? (laughs)

  • You watching me have a breakdown

  • over some fucking jam.

  • It's coming out now, I don't care.

  • I don't care, I'm done.

  • (beep)

  • It's very boily, I don't know if you can see that.

  • Oh!

  • I need to pour it straight into the jar

  • without burning yourself.

  • We have medics on speed dial.

  • Let's just go with it.

  • I should've put it into a jug.

  • My jugs are made of plastic.

  • Careful.

  • They may have melted.

  • No silicone here.

  • Right?

  • Oh, have I nailed this?

  • God, I'm good.

  • I should go on a tele show.

  • (beep) Right, jam done.

  • Pop the, ah, hot!

  • Pop the lid on that.

  • And then you keep that wherever you want,

  • ignore the bit where it says strawberry.

  • Just keep that in the cupboard

  • for however long you keep jam for.

  • I don't know.

  • That can live there.

  • Next step, cake.

  • Don't know what this is.

  • (beep) Okay,

  • now it's time for the cake,

  • which is honestly the most simple cake

  • I have ever made in my entire life.

  • And I actually choose it even though it's vegan.

  • So I mean, who is the real winner here?

  • Not me.

  • Right.

  • So, we start off with 190 grams of plain flour.

  • And I've been asked to be sexy with this.

  • And I'm not quite sure how to be sexy with flour,

  • so I'm just going to hope that the edit makes this work.

  • (Michael laughs)

  • Oh!

  • How can you make flour sexy?

  • Who knows?

  • Now we need to try and make a 100 grams

  • of caster sugar sexy.

  • (Michael laughs)

  • Oh, didn't even come out.

  • There you are, that's sexy.

  • That sexy thing. (laughs)

  • Shouldn't be spanking ramekins.

  • And then you also need to add a 100 grams

  • of light brown sugar.

  • If you even listening to what I'm saying,

  • congratulations.

  • That's not sexy.

  • And then 40 grams of cocoa powder.

  • That color is certainly not sexy.

  • And then you're going to sift all that together.

  • If you miss what I was saying,

  • because you were distracted by how sexual

  • I was just then, that is 190 grams of plain flour,

  • a 100 grams of caster sugar,

  • 100 grams of light brown sugar, and 40 grams of cocoa.

  • And you don't want to like mash the lumps in.

  • Ugh.

  • (beep)

  • I'm not a very sexy person.

  • This is why I'm single.

  • Lara Jean doesn't have to be sexy.

  • She just had to be stressed.

  • And she had two boys after her.

  • Nonsense.

  • Is that sexy?

  • (laughs) The things I do for money, hey.

  • Not that, not that, I don't do that.

  • I support that obviously, but we're in a lockdown.

  • Right. (laughs)

  • We need to put some bicarbonate soda and some salt in.

  • Both these containers look the same.

  • I'm gonna have to take...

  • Oh.

  • That's bicarb.

  • Oh, gross.

  • Oh, it's really horrible.

  • She's a spitter.

  • One teaspoon of bicarb.