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  • >> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW

  • SUPER BOWL SPECIAL."

  • WE ARE SO LUCKY RIGHT NOW TO BE JOINED BY THE ONE, THE ONLY MISS

  • TIFFANY HADDISH

  • THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.

  • >> THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

  • >> Stephen: YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW I LOVE TALKING TO YOU, YOU ARE

  • ONE OF THE GUESTS WHO I ALWAYS HAVE MORE ENERGY AFTER THE SHOW

  • WHEN YOU'VE BEEN ON.

  • YOU ARE A POWER SOURCE, YOU ARE NOT JUST A GUEST.

  • BUT THE THING IS THAT WE ONLY HAVE A FEW MINUTES TOGETHER.

  • WE DON'T GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER.

  • AND WHAT ARE WE HERE FOR IF NOT TO KNOW EACH OTHER.

  • AND SO I HAVE DEVICED AS YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW, BECAUSE

  • ST A PHENOMENON AT THIS POINT, IF IS SOMETHING CALLED THE

  • COLBERT QUESTIONERT, THESE ARE THE ESSENTIAL QUESTIONS THAT

  • ALLOW ME TO KNOW ANY GUEST TO REVEAL THEIR SOUL, NOT ONLY TO

  • THE NATION BUT TO THEMSELVES.

  • ARE YOU READY?

  • ARE YOU PREPARED FOR THE COLBERT QUESTIONERRE?

  • >> LET'S GO.

  • >> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, WE HAVE TWO SPECIAL SUPER BOWL ADDED

  • QUESTIONS FOR TONIGHT.

  • NUMBER ONE, TIFFANY HADDISH, IF SUPER BOWL SUNDAY, LET'S START

  • WITH A COIN TOSS, DO YOU PICK HEADS OR TAILS?

  • >> HEADS.

  • >> Stephen: ANY REASON?

  • >> CUZ I THINK I GOT A NICE HEAD.

  • >> Stephen: YOU DO.

  • OKAY, WHAT IS YOUR GO TO SUPER BOWL SNACK?

  • WOW.

  • >> I'M THINKING USUALLY.

  • VODKA.

  • >> Stephen: OKAY.

  • GOOD, GOOD, THAT'S A GREAT SOURCE OF FIBER.

  • OKAY.

  • NOW.

  • >> IT IS A DISINFECTANT.

  • >> Stephen: LET'S GET TO THE QUESTIONERT ITSELF.

  • TIFFANY HADDISH, WHAT IS THE BEST SANDWICH.

  • >> PASTRAMI.

  • >> Stephen: THIS IS THE RIGHT ANSWER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?

  • >> I TAKE IT ON WHEAT, I HAVE IT TOASTED AND YOU KNOW I PUT ALL

  • KIND OF STUFF ON MY SANDWICH, BUT IF HAS TO BE HOT.

  • >> Stephen: HOT PASTRAMI.

  • WHAT IS THE ONE THING THAT YOU OWN THAT YOU REALLY SHOULD THROW

  • OUT?

  • >> I GOT A LOT OF UNDERWEARS I SHOULD PROBABLY THROW OUT.

  • BUT I LOVE THEM.

  • THEY'RE MY COMFORT DRAWERS.

  • >> Stephen: AND YOU SHOULD THROW THEM OUT BECAUSE THEY ARE

  • TOO COMFORTABLE?

  • >> WELL, BECAUSE THEY GOT HOLES IN THEM, THERE'S SOME-- ELASTIC

  • SITUATIONS.

  • >> Stephen: OKAY, LET'S MOVE ON.

  • >> I'M A GIRL, BUT MY UNDERWEAR LOOK LIKE MEN'S UNDERWEAR, I

  • WOULD SAY.

  • >> Stephen: WHAT'S THE SCARIEST ANIMAL?

  • >> ALLIGATOR, CROCODILE.

  • >> Stephen: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN NEAR ONE IN PERSON?

  • >> UH-HUH, UH-HUH.

  • I WISH I HAD A GUN JUST IN CASE THEY TRY TO RUN UP ON ME.

  • >> Stephen: APPLES OR ORANGES.

  • >> ORANGES CUZ THEY GOT A LOT OF VITAMIN C AND FIEBER IN THEM.

  • >> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.

  • I ALWAYS GO WITH APPLE BECAUSE YOU CAN PUT PEANUT BUTTER ON IT.

  • >> YEAH, BUT ORANGES YOU CAN PUT VODKA WITH.

  • >> Stephen: HAVE YOU EVER.

  • >> IT MAKES AN ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE ALKALINE.

  • >> Stephen: TIFFANY, HAVE YOU EVER ASKED SOMEONE FOR THEIR

  • AUTOGRAPH?

  • >> YES.

  • >> Stephen: WHO?

  • >> HALLE BERRY,.

  • >> Stephen: DID YOU GET IT, DID SHE SAY YES?

  • >> NO.

  • BUT MY GRANDMA GOT IT FOR ME, MY GRANDMA WORKED AT-- PRIME RIB

  • RESTAURANT IN BEVERLY HILLS AND SHE GOT IT FOR ME.

  • >> Stephen: MY MOTHER GOT HALLE BERRY'S AUTOGRAPH FOR ME.

  • >> SHE ONLY GIVES HER AUTOGRAPH TO OLDER WOMEN, SEE?

  • >> Stephen: TRUE STORY.

  • WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENS WHEN YOU DIE?

  • >> I THINK THAT YOUR BODY DISINTEGRATES AND GOES AWAY AND

  • I THINK YOUR SOUL GOES AND HAS A MEETING WITH THE-- I THINK YOUR

  • SOUL GOES TO HAVE A MEETING DECIDE IF YOU SHOULD COME BACK

  • OR NOT, THAT IS WHAT I WANT TO THINK HAPPENS.

  • >> Stephen: OH WOW.

  • >> AND THEN EVERYBODY FIGHTS OVER YOUR BELONGINGS.

  • >> Stephen: THEY'RE FIGHTING OVER ALL THAT UNDERWEAR YOU

  • DIDN'T THROW OUT.

  • THIS LOOKS COMFORTABLE.

  • OKAY, EXERCISE, WORTH IT?

  • >> YES, DEFINITELY WORTH IT.

  • >> Stephen: DEFINITELY, CUZ LOOK AT YOU DEFINITELY WORTH IT.

  • >> YEP.

  • >> Stephen: OKAY.

  • YOU GET ONE SONG TO LISTEN TO FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT

  • IS IT?

  • >> SKIN A MARINKY DING, SKINA MA RINKY DOO, I LOVE YOU, SKINA MA

  • RINKA DINGY DING.

  • >> I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU IN THE MORNING.

  • AND IN THE AFTERNOON.

  • ♪ I LOVE YOU IN THE EVENING.

  • UNDERNEATH THE MOON OH SKINA MA R RINKA DINGY DINKY DING, I

  • LOVE YOU.

  • THAT IS FROM THE ELEPHANT SHOW THATI S MY FAVORITE SHOW.

  • >> Stephen: THAT IS DELIGHTFUL, FOR THE REST OF YOUR

  • LIFE.

  • >> YES.

  • >> Stephen: DESCRIBE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN FIVE WORDS.

  • >> SUCCESSFUL, JOYOUS, CHALLENGING, GRATIFYING AND

  • ABUNDANT.

  • >> Stephen: SEASON 2 OF TIFFANY HADDISH PRESENTS THEY

  • READY IS ON NETFLIX NOW, TIFFANY HADDISH, YOU ARE OFFICIALLY

  • KNOWN, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.

  • >> I LOVE YOU.

  • >> Stephen: HAPPY SUPER BOWL.

  • >> HAPPY SUPER BOWL.

  • >> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WAY PERFORMANCE FROM

  • METALLICA.

>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW

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Tiffany Haddish Takes "The Colbert Questionert"

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    林宜悉 posted on 2021/02/08
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