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>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK TO "A LATE SHOW
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SUPER BOWL SPECIAL."
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WE ARE SO LUCKY RIGHT NOW TO BE JOINED BY THE ONE, THE ONLY MISS
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TIFFANY HADDISH
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THANKS SO MUCH FOR BEING HERE.
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>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU.
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>> Stephen: YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW I LOVE TALKING TO YOU, YOU ARE
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ONE OF THE GUESTS WHO I ALWAYS HAVE MORE ENERGY AFTER THE SHOW
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WHEN YOU'VE BEEN ON.
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YOU ARE A POWER SOURCE, YOU ARE NOT JUST A GUEST.
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BUT THE THING IS THAT WE ONLY HAVE A FEW MINUTES TOGETHER.
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WE DON'T GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER.
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AND WHAT ARE WE HERE FOR IF NOT TO KNOW EACH OTHER.
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AND SO I HAVE DEVICED AS YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW, BECAUSE
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ST A PHENOMENON AT THIS POINT, IF IS SOMETHING CALLED THE
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COLBERT QUESTIONERT, THESE ARE THE ESSENTIAL QUESTIONS THAT
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ALLOW ME TO KNOW ANY GUEST TO REVEAL THEIR SOUL, NOT ONLY TO
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THE NATION BUT TO THEMSELVES.
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ARE YOU READY?
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ARE YOU PREPARED FOR THE COLBERT QUESTIONERRE?
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>> LET'S GO.
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>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT, WE HAVE TWO SPECIAL SUPER BOWL ADDED
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QUESTIONS FOR TONIGHT.
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NUMBER ONE, TIFFANY HADDISH, IF SUPER BOWL SUNDAY, LET'S START
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WITH A COIN TOSS, DO YOU PICK HEADS OR TAILS?
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>> HEADS.
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>> Stephen: ANY REASON?
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>> CUZ I THINK I GOT A NICE HEAD.
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>> Stephen: YOU DO.
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OKAY, WHAT IS YOUR GO TO SUPER BOWL SNACK?
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WOW.
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>> I'M THINKING USUALLY.
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VODKA.
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>> Stephen: OKAY.
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GOOD, GOOD, THAT'S A GREAT SOURCE OF FIBER.
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OKAY.
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NOW.
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>> IT IS A DISINFECTANT.
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>> Stephen: LET'S GET TO THE QUESTIONERT ITSELF.
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TIFFANY HADDISH, WHAT IS THE BEST SANDWICH.
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>> PASTRAMI.
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>> Stephen: THIS IS THE RIGHT ANSWER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?
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>> I TAKE IT ON WHEAT, I HAVE IT TOASTED AND YOU KNOW I PUT ALL
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KIND OF STUFF ON MY SANDWICH, BUT IF HAS TO BE HOT.
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>> Stephen: HOT PASTRAMI.
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WHAT IS THE ONE THING THAT YOU OWN THAT YOU REALLY SHOULD THROW
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OUT?
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>> I GOT A LOT OF UNDERWEARS I SHOULD PROBABLY THROW OUT.
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BUT I LOVE THEM.
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THEY'RE MY COMFORT DRAWERS.
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>> Stephen: AND YOU SHOULD THROW THEM OUT BECAUSE THEY ARE
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TOO COMFORTABLE?
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>> WELL, BECAUSE THEY GOT HOLES IN THEM, THERE'S SOME-- ELASTIC
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SITUATIONS.
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>> Stephen: OKAY, LET'S MOVE ON.
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>> I'M A GIRL, BUT MY UNDERWEAR LOOK LIKE MEN'S UNDERWEAR, I
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WOULD SAY.
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>> Stephen: WHAT'S THE SCARIEST ANIMAL?
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>> ALLIGATOR, CROCODILE.
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>> Stephen: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN NEAR ONE IN PERSON?
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>> UH-HUH, UH-HUH.
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I WISH I HAD A GUN JUST IN CASE THEY TRY TO RUN UP ON ME.
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>> Stephen: APPLES OR ORANGES.
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>> ORANGES CUZ THEY GOT A LOT OF VITAMIN C AND FIEBER IN THEM.
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>> Stephen: ALL RIGHT.
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I ALWAYS GO WITH APPLE BECAUSE YOU CAN PUT PEANUT BUTTER ON IT.
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>> YEAH, BUT ORANGES YOU CAN PUT VODKA WITH.
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>> Stephen: HAVE YOU EVER.
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>> IT MAKES AN ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE ALKALINE.
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>> Stephen: TIFFANY, HAVE YOU EVER ASKED SOMEONE FOR THEIR
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AUTOGRAPH?
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>> YES.
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>> Stephen: WHO?
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>> HALLE BERRY,.
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>> Stephen: DID YOU GET IT, DID SHE SAY YES?
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>> NO.
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BUT MY GRANDMA GOT IT FOR ME, MY GRANDMA WORKED AT-- PRIME RIB
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RESTAURANT IN BEVERLY HILLS AND SHE GOT IT FOR ME.
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>> Stephen: MY MOTHER GOT HALLE BERRY'S AUTOGRAPH FOR ME.
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>> SHE ONLY GIVES HER AUTOGRAPH TO OLDER WOMEN, SEE?
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>> Stephen: TRUE STORY.
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WHAT DO YOU THINK HAPPENS WHEN YOU DIE?
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>> I THINK THAT YOUR BODY DISINTEGRATES AND GOES AWAY AND
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I THINK YOUR SOUL GOES AND HAS A MEETING WITH THE-- I THINK YOUR
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SOUL GOES TO HAVE A MEETING DECIDE IF YOU SHOULD COME BACK
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OR NOT, THAT IS WHAT I WANT TO THINK HAPPENS.
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>> Stephen: OH WOW.
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>> AND THEN EVERYBODY FIGHTS OVER YOUR BELONGINGS.
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>> Stephen: THEY'RE FIGHTING OVER ALL THAT UNDERWEAR YOU
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DIDN'T THROW OUT.
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THIS LOOKS COMFORTABLE.
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OKAY, EXERCISE, WORTH IT?
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>> YES, DEFINITELY WORTH IT.
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>> Stephen: DEFINITELY, CUZ LOOK AT YOU DEFINITELY WORTH IT.
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>> YEP.
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>> Stephen: OKAY.
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YOU GET ONE SONG TO LISTEN TO FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT
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IS IT?
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>> SKIN A MARINKY DING, SKINA MA RINKY DOO, I LOVE YOU, SKINA MA
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RINKA DINGY DING.
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>> I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU IN THE MORNING.
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♪ AND IN THE AFTERNOON.
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♪ I LOVE YOU IN THE EVENING.
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♪ UNDERNEATH THE MOON OH SKINA MA R RINKA DINGY DINKY DING, I
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LOVE YOU.
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THAT IS FROM THE ELEPHANT SHOW THATI S MY FAVORITE SHOW.
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>> Stephen: THAT IS DELIGHTFUL, FOR THE REST OF YOUR
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LIFE.
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>> YES.
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>> Stephen: DESCRIBE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE IN FIVE WORDS.
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>> SUCCESSFUL, JOYOUS, CHALLENGING, GRATIFYING AND
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ABUNDANT.
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>> Stephen: SEASON 2 OF TIFFANY HADDISH PRESENTS THEY
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READY IS ON NETFLIX NOW, TIFFANY HADDISH, YOU ARE OFFICIALLY
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KNOWN, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
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>> I LOVE YOU.
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>> Stephen: HAPPY SUPER BOWL.
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>> HAPPY SUPER BOWL.
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>> Stephen: WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WAY PERFORMANCE FROM
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METALLICA.