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  • - Yes, sir, here, the shirt off my back.

  • And as you can see, the devil does indeed wear Prada.

  • (electric guitar music)

  • (wings unfurling)

  • (woman gasps)

  • - You're an angel.

  • - Oh, gosh, my apologies.

  • And for the record,

  • I don't usually suffer from premature unfurling.

  • Holed up in a chateau

  • copulating with a young woman named Faith.

  • It's ironic, isn't it?

  • - Now, Lucifer, I am a big fan of sex.

  • - Obviously.

  • Excuse me!

  • Yeah, I have a problem.

  • Has anyone else noticed how incredibly jaw-droppingly

  • loin-stirringly beautiful this young woman is

  • and how short, sweaty and altogether fugly

  • this homunculus is?

  • I mean, what is this a wedding or a kidnapping?

  • You know what I mean?

  • Are you sure that we haven't met?

  • I could swear I've seen you naked.

  • Have we had sex?

  • (door clicks open)

  • - Okay, right, here's the deal.

  • We can have as much naked cuddle time as you desire.

  • But you're gonna have to listen to me too.

  • There's a few things that I'd like to discuss with you.

  • You know, just an existential dilemma or two.

  • Deal? - Yes.

  • Sometimes it's easier to make intimate issues

  • about something bigger than yourself.

  • - Well, there are few things bigger than myself.

  • - The devil did a good deed today.

  • (Lucifer chuckling)

  • There's no need to call it that.

  • I enjoyed every minute of it.

  • (Lucifer chuckles)

  • Don't mind if I do.

  • (Lucifer chuckling)

  • You checking for a wire or you are just pleased to see me?

  • - Here you are Mr. Morningstar.

  • - Thank you, lovely.

  • - And here's something else you might need.

  • (Lucifer chuckling)

  • - Do you honestly think you can just ask people

  • to have sex with you and they will?

  • - But I usually don't have to ask actually.

  • But trust me, it'd be a win-win

  • and probably another one after that.

  • I mean, I have tremendous stamina.

  • The danger of getting hurt is positively thrilling.

  • Fun with mortality it, bring it.

  • - Meet Britney and Britney. (Mazikeen taps Britney)

  • - Wow.

  • Hello Britneys.

  • Oh, Britneys, Britneys!

  • Pizza delivery guy, pizza delivery guy, Britneys.

  • - [Britneys] Hi!

  • - Go on, what are you waiting for?

  • Have fun.

  • So what's the big deal?

  • What if I am a criminal?

  • - I'd have to arrest you!

  • - Ooh, whip out the cuffs, then,

  • why shy away from a little bondage fun?

  • (Lucifer chuckling) - Tell me we didn't.

  • (Lucifer scoffs) - Did we ever!

  • I'm pretty sure we made Rosemary's Baby.

  • Oh, detective, it was extraordinary.

  • The heat, the gymnastics!

  • I mean, you have moves that made even the devil blush.

  • You know, there's only one way

  • to pick the perfect strawberry.

  • - Are you talking to me?

  • - Yes, of course.

  • Why not?

  • In fact, most people think it's just about the outside.

  • You know, the shape and the color.

  • But they're just like us, sneaky little devils,

  • hiding tasty secrets inside.

  • - It's never the ones you expect.

  • - But there's no way of finding out what deliciousness

  • is underneath without giving it a little taste.

  • (strawberry squirts) Mm.

  • - Mm.

  • - You like that?

  • - Oh, God!

  • - Oh hello.

  • There's a whole chapter on sex, I like this book.

  • Lovely, why don't we go up to the penthouse

  • and I can show you the original Stairway to Heaven.

  • Wow, look who bought a ticket to the gun show.

  • Detective.

  • (both moaning)

  • (both panting)

  • Detective, are you sure you want to do this?

  • - Shut up.

  • - And I see you've found my love handles.

  • (Chloe exhales)

  • I...

  • - What?

  • - Well, I got you burgers and fries,

  • but I forgot the ketchup.

  • (Chloe chuckles) - I hate ketchup.

  • (Lucifer chuckles)

  • - Foolish condiment.

  • (piano bangs) (both breathing heavily)

  • (phone ringing)

  • So tell me.

  • What's your deepest, darkest fantasy.

  • You're a persuasive one, aren't you?

  • (woman smacks Lucifer) Oh, perfect, dada!

  • Again!

  • (both breathing heavily)

  • - We haven't had sex before, have we?

  • (woman chuckling)

  • - No trust me, you would remember.

  • (both breathing heavily)

  • - I made you grilled cheese, your favorite.

  • (slow sexy music)

  • There are certain perks to having a boyfriend

  • who works the LAPD.

  • An endless supply of handcuffs, for one.

  • - Well, I want in.

  • - Ah, do you, now?

  • - Mm-hmm.

  • - Maybe we could do it together,

  • find the worst of the worst and give them what they deserve.

  • All in good time, my darling.

  • You know how satisfying

  • delayed gratification is in bed, right?

  • Thought you could use a hand

  • but looks like someone beat me to it.

  • (both breathing heavily)

  • My first Love was never Eve.

  • It was you, Chloe.

  • It always has been.

  • Well, you're special.

  • But I am,

  • I'm not worth it.

  • - Yeah, you're probably right.

  • - What do you truly desire?

  • - I..

  • I want to have sex with you another four times.

  • Six actually.

- Yes, sir, here, the shirt off my back.

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Lucifer Being Sexy For 7 Minutes Straight | Netflix

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    林宜悉 posted on 2021/02/08
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