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  • - I really don't see the downside to marijuana.

  • Doctors say (bleep) like well if you smoke marijuana,

  • it's known to cause you to forget things.

  • Maybe some of us got some (bleep) we need to forget.

  • (applause)

  • I'm actually not a comic,

  • I was just outside the club chilling.

  • (audience laughing)

  • They asked me if I wanted to make five dollars,

  • and I was like I ain't gotta take my pants off?

  • And he was like you want this five dollars or what?

  • I was in the park earlier today where I live at,

  • (audience laughing)

  • I was in the park earlier today

  • and I saw a black squirrel

  • being chased by two gray squirrels,

  • and I got anxious.

  • And I blurted out run nigga.

  • That's bad right?

  • Fuck.

  • Well he got away,

  • and I was like that's how you do it.

  • What's that?

  • What don't I like?

  • I'll tell you.

  • (audience laughing)

  • I don't like walking up behind white women at night.

  • Makes me really uncomfortable.

  • So I cross the street.

  • So I smoke marijuana sometimes a lot every day,

  • and I'll tell you.

  • (applause)

  • I really don't see the downside to marijuana.

  • Doctors say (bleep) like well if you smoke marijuana,

  • it's known to cause you to forget things.

  • Maybe some of us got some (bleep) we need to forget.

  • Marijuana's also known to increase your appetite.

  • You mean the munchies?

  • Ohh.

  • Like brothers are smoking joints, getting the munchies,

  • and going out trying to

  • stick up Keebler elf houses and (bleep).

  • See a bunch of brothers in the parks harassing trees.

  • Yo I know you in there little elf man.

  • Just tell us which tree y'all make the cookies in.

  • (applause)

  • Go check them other trees.

  • - So I'll just get right to it.

  • I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy style,

  • and the cat and the dog were watching.

  • and she was like nuh uh baby stop stop,

  • I'm like why I gotta stop?

  • The cat and the dog, they watching.

  • That's cool, it's like National Geographic for them,

  • it's all right.

  • I could have sworn I overheard my dog say to my cat

  • pss, look at him.

  • He ain't even doing it right.

  • - I was walking down into the train station

  • and there was a white lady in front of me,

  • and she decides to fall.

  • Yeah.

  • And I see it happening and I'm like, don't.

  • And she's like I don't know what's happening.

  • And there's this white lady at the bottom of the steps,

  • I'm at the top of the steps, I know how the picture look.

  • I got a life choice to make,

  • so I go back outside.

  • That joke kills in a black crowd.

  • I know that's right.

  • (audience laughing)

  • I hate the MTA though,

  • have you been down in the Labyrinth of ew.

  • You ever read those stupid signs they put up?

  • We at the MTA are making improvements

  • so that your ride will be more enjoyable.

  • Really?

  • I still smell piss.

  • Homeless dude taking his dick out.

  • He's coming this way,

  • come on man.

  • (audience laughing)

  • New Yorkers will be like yeah he from out of town.

  • (applause) (upbeat music)

- I really don't see the downside to marijuana.

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(Some of) The Best of Greer Barnes

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    林宜悉 posted on 2021/02/08
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