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  • the nation wants what it wants, and right now, the nation wants nay demands.

  • The headlines.

  • We've got some way just a week away from Donald Trump's second impeachment trial.

  • Hey, that not talking about Trump was fun while it lasted.

  • Wasn't it we're talking about?

  • Because over the weekend, five of Trump's impeachment lawyers abruptly quit, Trump's suddenly found himself without any legal representation, which is still a huge improvement over being represented by Rudy Giuliani.

  • Earlier today, in an unexpected move, House managers called on Donald Trump to testify under oath in his impeachment trial next week on I'm just hearing now we've got a quick update on this story.

  • Yeah, he's not gonna do it.

  • Meanwhile, President Biden is now looking into revoking Trump's access to intelligence briefings.

  • Ah, courtesy, which is traditionally given to all ex presidents.

  • Revoking Donald Trump's access to intelligence briefings is like revoking a dolphins access to an Xbox.

  • By the way, Trump famously skipped intelligence briefings when he was president of the United States.

  • So this would be like if I got fired from this job and people were like, Sorry, James, you can no longer go into Stu's office.

  • I'll be like right Who's shoot President?

  • Biden has now signed a record 28 executive orders in his first two weeks in office, and he addressed that large volume of orders by saying this.

  • I want to make it clear there's a lot of talk with good reason about the number of executive orders that I have signed.

  • I'm not making new law.

  • I'm eliminating bad policy.

  • It's eliminating bad policies.

  • Yeah, eliminate bad policy.

  • I love bad policy.

  • I saw bad policy in Manchester.

  • Oh, yeah, in 96 they were opening for Weezer.

  • Absolutely fantastic.

  • What a nine course I like.

  • Joe Biden is now like a cool step.

  • Dad steps off a motorcycle wearing a leather jacket and aviator sunglasses.

  • He's like, Son, I'm not here to be a new dad.

  • I'm here to eliminate your mom's loneliness way were reading about this story today.

  • I've got to ask, Is it just me, or does this come across like an unnecessarily sensual headline?

  • Right.

  • True headline.

  • Democrats wield their massive package as they plow through Senate Republicans.

  • Stimulus everywhere.

  • Please.

  • E actually saw stimulus everywhere in Liverpool.

  • Yeah, they opened for Weezer.

  • Fantastic night from here in Hollywood After finding out that they were preparing disciplinary action against him, Donald Trump abruptly resigned from the Screen Actors Guild today.

  • Yeah, now he's gonna he's gonna have to go back to community theater.

  • His he's doing a production of Godspell in Bakersfield.

  • That's true.

  • Anything he would love to see Trump in Godspell day by day by his resignation letter, Trump said, I write to you today regarding the so called disciplinary committee hearing aimed at revoking my union membership.

  • Who cares?

  • I'm gonna use that all the time from now on.

  • All right, you today regarding the ticket I got from running a red light at the corner of Wilshire and Fairfax.

  • Who cares?

  • Vaccine, developed by Oxford and AstraZeneca, is the first shot that's proven to reduce person to person transmission rather than just protect from infection.

  • Sure great news.

  • Brilliant news.

  • Don't need the details.

  • Just get it in my arm Now.

  • Honestly, at this point, I take a vaccine made by Arizona State University and Fuddruckers.

  • E was would someone said it's take the Arizona in front rockers Vaccine if you got one.

  • Yeah, sure dio some big news from the world of tech Earlier this afternoon, Jeff Bezos announced that effective this summer, he will be stepping down a CEO of Amazon.

  • Yes.

  • Yeah.

  • I wonder what he's gonna do for money now basis will be staying on until the summer.

  • On his final day, he'll be boxed up, covered in packing peanuts and dropped on his family's doorstep.

  • Yeah, if Jeff Bezos called here and said I wanna work on the late late show would we give him a job?

  • 100%?

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah.

  • Be great to have Jeff visas work here.

  • There you go.

  • Things are looking up already.

  • What would he do?

  • What would you put?

  • What would you dio, script coordinator?

  • Do you think we'll fight?

  • Listen, Jeff, we'd find something for you.

  • All right?

  • The door is not closed.

  • I don't think any other late night show is being that open with Jeff tonight.

  • No starters.

  • Apia.

  • He's gonna work his way out.

  • Hundreds of first base.

  • So it's Give me a coffee.

  • Now.

  • This is pretty cool.

  • Nike has just announced a new kind of shoe.

  • It's a no lace slip on sneaker that does not require the use of hands to put them on and take them off.

  • Have a look at this.

  • So there they are.

  • There.

  • Look.

  • Look that easy on.

  • Easy on.

  • I want it easy.

  • I want it now.

  • Look at that.

  • Yeah, Good idea.

  • Now do pants.

  • That's all I would ever want.

  • If that's what Bezos should be working on right now.

  • A pair of pants You don't have to church to put on and off you, just you.

  • So you lay them on the floor and you just sort of sit and they just Yeah.

  • How would you feel if I told you I have both nipples pissed?

  • I actually be honest.

  • What would you think?

  • I wouldn't be surprised.

  • I'm not even studs.

  • Hoops?

  • Yeah.

  • You know, to hoops on.

  • I just say it's just for May.

  • You know, it's just like so much of my life is public.

  • So much of my life.

  • So much of my life is out there and lived in public.

  • I just felt I needed to do something for May.

  • I couldn't think of anyone on planet Earth.

  • Worse toe Have both nipples pierced than me.

  • Scientists have developed a backpack with an electric generator that can harvest energy from your movements to power and charge your electronic devices.

  • Here's what it looks like here.

  • It makes you look like a ghostbuster that instead of busting ghosts bus any chance you ever have of having sex, Reggie, I imagine you've already got three of these.

  • Yeah, I dio dio Well, I have to know Seriously, Would you buy that?

  • Would you get one?

  • I mean, I have to see the final.

  • If that's the final design, I don't know, I'd wear it.

  • I like being the weird guy walking around the lake with Sorry.

  • Which lake is this?

  • The lake of silver nous?

  • Sure.

  • Is there actually a lake in Silver Lake?

  • Yeah, I wouldn't know.

  • What's a reservoir?

  • Never been east of air one.

  • Oh, okay.

  • E love that movie.

  • Okay, Nice.

  • True stories in my mind.

  • That's where l a stops.

  • It's not true.

  • You've been further east than Air one.

  • I know this for a fast.

  • I have been funders.

  • Kerem.

  • Oh, it's a joke.

  • I have been further center.

  • Kim was a literalist.

  • Further east.

  • I've been further east, but I actually didn't know there was a lake in Silver Lake.

  • That that I believe, is this the one they filled up with balls.

  • Yes.

  • Yeah, filled up with balls, which I thought it looked fun.

  • It did.

  • Look back.

  • There are no interest in going in the lake, but I would go in a lake full of balls.

  • Yeah, Yeah, I worked Not knows, but no.

  • Yeah, to be clear, I mean, like, inflatable balls, not testicles, a jump in a pool of testicles.

  • You know what I mean?

  • I want to do that.

  • I'll just go to Vegas with Pete on a Friday.

  • Yeah, a lawyer in Peru has gone viral after he was caught having sex on camera during a virtual court hearing over Zoom.

  • Now we've had to blur it because, well, you know, they're having sex, But the lawyers there in the lower right?

  • Why?

  • Because actually a virtual court hearing, I mean, Well, look, I think it's a given that we all enjoy having sex, but sometimes you've got to go, babe, I'm in court right now.

  • I can't e e Yeah.

  • Yeah.

  • I'm sorry.

  • I was just gonna mute one minute.

  • I can't.

  • I'm in court.

  • Yeah, I'm back.

  • Guys.

  • What?

  • Stop.

  • Yeah.

  • All right.

  • Way.

  • The judge said all rise.

  • And the lawyer was like, I'm way ahead of you, buddy.

  • Yeah, e don't get too graphic.

  • But the woman he was with said that the lawyer really belongs in small claims Court Queen.

  • Great.

  • It's my phone.

  • Zuhri, answer Redondo Beach.

  • Oh, redundant.

  • Should turn that off.

  • Um, let's see what this?

  • Hello?

  • Hello.

  • Hello.

  • This called is strong Law enforcement unit off Federal Reserve System.

  • It sounds suspicious activities from your king accounts due to which there is a legal case being filed under your name.

  • And there is an arrest warrant being issued for the same.

  • What?

  • They're from law enforcement ***.

  • Federal Reserve System, please.

  • Press one and hold the line.

  • Guys, I've got to go.

  • Thio, you know, heard what's happened, Lawrence.

  • It's fraudulent activity in my bank and I'm gonna get arrested.

  • I've got Thio.

  • Oh, my gosh, e have todo Uh huh.

the nation wants what it wants, and right now, the nation wants nay demands.

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Trump News Won't Go Away - Corden Catch-Up

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    林宜悉 posted on 2021/02/08
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