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All right, let's recast this bed.
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Put your hands on me, Jack.
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I'm the king of the world.
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I will stop filming this right now.
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I feel like we nailed that.
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Hey, welcome to the Recast.
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I'm Micah Fox and I'm Karen Fan.
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And today we're going to recast the Love Story classic Titanic.
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So original cast of the movie Leo, Right?
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Let's have a moment of silence for how hot he thinks is classic Leo, too.
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And like, kind of like he was like this hot Leo And then, like what's eating Gilbert Grape Leo, too.
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So you could, like, go back and forth between, like, Special Leo and, like, really special Leo.
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I was a Romeo and Juliet Leo, which is bringing the right.
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So he was a hot babe and then, and Kate Winslet.
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She was gorgeous over his hand, on the car door, on the card or the steamy car door.
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That's the only part of the movie I really remember.
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I thought sex was always gonna be like that.
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Let's get into it.
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I'm ready.
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Let's recast this bitch.
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Here's who I got for Jack.
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We can't have Leo anymore because he survived the Titanic and ended up on a yacht full of younger women.
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This is a controversial take, but I really feel like Gilbert Godfrey.
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Oh, my God.
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E King And I would watch.
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I don't wanna know what poor woman you're casting opposite Gilbert Godfrey.
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Then he's gonna have to kiss and make love with your out of your mind.
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I guess I love you Would watch 100%.
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You would watch every step of the way that I watched those, like dog abuse videos.
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Like Like I can't look away, But I'm not having fun.
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E put your hands on me like I'll pay me like your French e Good.
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Okay, e cast the hot young guy Got to You should cast the hot like the hottest youngest, hottest guy right now.
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Oh, God, Shawn Mendez.
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Oh, why?
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Who's ruining every Taylor Swift?
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So he's not ruining my wet dreams at night, that's for sure.
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I love him.
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You're gonna Shawn Mendez is He's like a hot pop singer, and he's in all my dreams and I love him.
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I guess I just like an older man.
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Yeah.
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You think that Gilbert is a very older man?
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Yeah.
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He's like 75.
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Love that he was around in the actual Titanic was he would he would bring You want So much for calling the knowledge to it.
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But it has to be a love story.
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I'm vetoing Gilbert.
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No, I will.
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I will stop filming this right now.
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Fine.
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Okay, fine.
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Shawn Mendez is Jack Dawson.
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You're right, ladies.
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You're welcome.
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Okay, so for Rose are budding beautiful love interest, right?
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Caitlin's the character.
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I say Timothy shallowing He was in little women.
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Oh, he's beautiful, Timothy Gore.
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But now, here's my thing.
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Timothy and Shawn Mendez.
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That is that super hot.
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That is very hot.
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So should we even hear your choices and go similar way?
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Got to here.
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Why were you gonna throw to the wolves?
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Okay, So who who's worthy of your Sean Mindy to recast Rose DeWitt Bukater who cater?
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I was going to recast Rose McGowan.
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Oh, sure.
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Okay.
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Right in the same name would be easy for her to member because she was clearly lost her mind.
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She shaved her head so she would be good in the water.
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The great streamline in the ocean.
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It makes sense for her to be a fast swimmer but her.
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And like Mendez, I feel like, you know, with all of her experience with the Me too, You know, she's not gonna take advantage of him.
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Even though he's younger than her.
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It will be a very consensual relationship on the great wide ocean.
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Screw consent.
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It's a boat.
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It's going down.
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And I say I like going down on a boat.
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It's Timothy Shamel and Shawn Mendez.
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E don't feel that passionately about my rose choice.
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So I'll give you Timmy.
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Okay, so we have the greatest gay love story of all time.
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So time to move on to an old woman makes sense with the gay cruise, right?
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You're absolutely right.
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So for Old Rose, played by Gloria Stuart who?
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Everybody knows the best old Rose there.
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Waas oldest Rose in the book you got for Old Rose, The heartbreaker, The one who drops the heart in the ocean.
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I decided to use Hillary Clinton.
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Yeah, if anyone's gonna ruin and ending its that bitch, she always does.
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Like what?
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What did you do that you blew?
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It blew a stink.
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You could have You could have had something forever.
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Right?
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And instead, you just dropped it into the great abyss.
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I liked the idea I chose for Old Rose.
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And I love calling her old Rose.
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Yeah, because she's so old.
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She's so old.
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Um, I went with Kathy Griffin red hair so mean she's because she's not that old just because she has spent so much money toe look, 50 I know her facelifts are older than she.
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She's so old so but wouldn't you be like a fiery cause?
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She could still have the red hair just bragging about all the time she got laid?
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Yeah, And she's a gay icon, so that, like, this is all time together, whether we tried to or not Gay Cruise, Kathy Griffin's headlining reverie.
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All right, so I think we go Cathy instead of Hill.
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That's so tough.
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Because Hillary, she's such a disappointment.
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Garbage on camera, though.
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Like she's not gonna sell that scene.
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No, you're right.
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All right.
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You're right.
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Okay, alright.
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I give it your right.
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Kathy Griffin.
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Kathy, You're welcome.
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I'm getting you work.
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She needs it.
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She's always complaining.
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You're right.
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Now we gotta recast Cal Hockley, the Billy Zane character.
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The eyebrows of the film.
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Okay, so I think I have the perfect recast for this.
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I'm gonna give it to you because you're losing already.
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Whatever it is, it's not over till it's over.
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Well, I've got Martin Shkreli's Martin Carelli AIDS pill guides.
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Pill guy.
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He's such a villain.
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He is, like, truly the biggest villain we have in a bit.
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But I think his intentions initially weren't that bad.
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I think he was like, I'm gonna drive the price up and then it'll go down For all the aid you're being such a Rose's mom right now, fine again, like these people don't have a lot of experience on camera other than testifying in front of Congress or whatever.
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Okay, Hollywood doesn't use actors anymore.
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It's all about their social media following he's an influencer 8 $750 a pill that is a Cal Hockley move.
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You started with Gilbert Godfried ended with AIDS Pill Guy.
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I'm just like your brain is nuts.
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Who do you got?
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Mario Lopez.
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Hey, later, I was sort of going with like a Latino theme.
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When I started, I was like Shawn Mendez and I will get like Mario was like the older version she's going for the demos.
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Yeah.
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Trying to be a casting director.
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Demo Pull.
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Just casting politicians and AIDS pill guy.
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Listen, the news has become our new entertainment.
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Fine.
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You can have.
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Yes, that's the type in Martin scarily looking really his name.
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Take up the whole call sheet Shkreli.
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He'll do it too.
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Okay, so coming soon to a theater near nobody, we have Jack being played by Karen's Shawn Mendez Mendez, uh, going face to face with the gorgeous Timothy Shallow Ming as Rose Old Rose.
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We have Kathy Graphic Griffin and then, um, Cal Hockley, the Belizean character played by Martin Shkreli.
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It's guy a k a spill guy.
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That's what we'll actually say in the credit.
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I love it.
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Let's watch that I would watch it.
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I mean, 40 hours of it.
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Three hours.