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  • - Last week, my entire world was turned upside down.

  • Apparently my mom got my birth city wrong.

  • So instead of a Capricorn rising, I'm an Aquarius rising.

  • And this news has shook me to my core.

  • Who am I?

  • My entire identity has been built on an adjacent ascendant.

  • And now that is a lie.

  • And apparently because Saturn and Jupiter went into

  • Aquarius for the first time in a long time, last December--

  • For those with Aquarius rising,

  • the next four years are all about

  • internal work and introspection.

  • If I get any more introspective, I just--

  • I just might die, you know, my body may cease to exist

  • and I may become a gaseous mass

  • on a different plane that just wanders

  • from therapy room to therapy room.

  • But until then, my normal level of introspection remains,

  • and I was recently talking to friends.

  • So I've been single for three years

  • and I'm dating in a global pandemic.

  • So it felt worth asking.

  • How do you know when you're supposed to sleep with someone?

  • - Like right now?

  • In the pandemic?

  • - Or the before time?

  • - I mean, in the before time, I would just kind of sleep

  • with someone in the first couple of dates

  • if I really liked them to gauge sexual chemistry.

  • But now...

  • - Yeah, same.

  • - Yeah, honestly, same.

  • Melissa, what are you talking about?

  • You're with your high school sweetheart.

  • That doesn't count.

  • - Yeah Melisa, you went on one date ten years ago,

  • and you're with the same guy.

  • - I mean, it's still relevant to the conversation.

  • - Okay, Melissa, we get it.

  • You have love, you were chosen.

  • - Congratulations, you won't die alone like the rest of us.

  • - Okay.

  • (gasps)

  • - Oh my God. - What?

  • - Listen to this. - What?

  • - The one question you should ask yourself before you sleep

  • with someone, is would I trust them to watch my pet?

  • - Oh my God. - I know!

  • - That's a great one. - I know!

  • - Yeah, that's really great.

  • - Well, it's irrelevant to you, Melissa

  • because you'll never have to ask yourself that.

  • - Yeah Melissa, okay.

  • 99% of people don't find the one

  • but you somehow found the one.

  • So great.

  • - Yeah, great job.

  • Ace in the hole.

  • Take one.

  • Virginal bride.

  • - Wow.

  • - Jesus--

  • And I was fascinated by this suggestion from the internet.

  • And I mentally took stock.

  • Would I trust them to watch my pet?

  • - Huh? Me?

  • - Nope.

  • Mhm mhm.

  • - Who, me?

  • - Definitely not you.

  • - Surely me?

  • - Absolutely not.

  • - Us?

  • - Uh, maybe?

  • This barometer, this question really highlighted

  • how much we trust our bodies with

  • people we wouldn't trust our pets with.

  • How much more comfortable I am committing

  • one of the most intimate physical acts with someone

  • versus how uncomfortable I would feel

  • leaving my animal in their care.

  • And like, I don't think this question is necessarily like,

  • right as an end all be all

  • because your relationship to sex, my relationship to sex

  • it can be a myriad of things besides trust and intimacy.

  • It can be casual exploration, play, gauging

  • sexual chemistry, working out, stress reduction.

  • And obviously this question related more to the before time.

  • But even now, I feel like physical intimacy

  • has so much inherent danger.

  • You know, conversations around safety have become paramount

  • and asking for some kind of exclusivity,

  • given the nature of the virus has made navigating

  • people's boundaries almost like navigating a grocery store.

  • How can I forget my gloves!

  • I can't believe I forgot my gloves!

  • Oh no!

  • - Where's the beef, where's the beef?

  • Where's the beef?

  • - Six feet, six feet!

  • - It's by that person, can't have beef!

  • I'm not gonna have beef.

  • - Sorry, excuse me.

  • Sorry, sorry...

  • Okay.

  • (screams)

  • - It's ketchup.

  • It's just ketchup.

  • - Ugh, I hate using hand sanitizer!

  • (both scream)

  • - Oh my god, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die!

  • - But the question really made me pause

  • and think about my relationship to sex

  • and how I choose my partners and who I am choosing.

  • And I'm so curious when you hear this

  • like, what it's going to bring up for you.

  • Not only in the before time, but like now.

  • My therapist loves to say that humans

  • are hardwired for connection.

  • And so the pandemic's loneliness

  • and isolation is basically all

  • of us not getting our basic needs met.

  • And I feel it.

  • Sometimes like every cell in my body just craves a hug.

  • But now, on top of all of that, we're asking

  • do I trust this person to be responsible enough

  • to not give me a deadly virus

  • and potentially kill everyone I know and love?

  • Which includes my pets, what a fuckin' timeline we live in!

  • And if you're not a pet owner and this whole video

  • like feels really irrelevant, then you should just go

  • out and adopt a couple of cats like immediately.

  • So not only can you now find this relatable

  • but then you have a lifetime of happiness.

  • You're welcome.

  • I'm Anna Akana.

  • And thank you to the Patreons who supported today's video.

  • And thank you to daddy Squarespace

  • for sponsoring today's episode.

  • From websites and online stores

  • to marketing tools and analytics,

  • daddy Squarespace is the all-in-one platform

  • to build a beautiful online presence

  • and run your business.

  • With daddy Squarespace, you can see how your visits,

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  • Stand out in any inbox with daddy Squarespace

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  • What more could you want from daddy Squarespace?

- Last week, my entire world was turned upside down.

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One question to ask before sleeping with someone

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    林宜悉 posted on 2021/02/04
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