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  • - My password to everything is Spock1234.

  • (upbeat music)

  • - Hey guys, welcome to "Stir Crazy."

  • The best thing to come out of 2020.

  • And yes, I know the bar is low.

  • You know my guest today from "Heroes,"

  • from "Star Trek," and his new Netflix film,

  • "The Boys in the Band," it's Zachary Quinto.

  • - Hey Josh, how are you?

  • - I'm doing all right.

  • We're surviving over here. I hope you are as well.

  • You look good. - Thanks, I feel good.

  • - You're enjoying an orange?

  • You're enjoying a-

  • - I'm enjoying an orange in the morning, yeah.

  • And there's my dog.

  • - Can you show us your pet?

  • (upbeat music)

  • - Adorable. - Hi buddy, say hi.

  • (dog growls) Okay.

  • He's a little growler, but it just means that he loves you.

  • And then this is the big guy, this is River.

  • - River you found relatively recently on the street, right?

  • - I found him in January, yeah,

  • before things went nuts.

  • He was unclaimed.

  • He had no tags or collar or a microchip or anything.

  • And so I gave him a home.

  • - It sounds like a very, very elaborate cover story

  • for you just wandering the streets

  • stealing people's pets like Cruella de Vil.

  • All right.

  • I'm excited to say Zach,

  • I have a new game just for you today.

  • We have never done this before,

  • because you have a lot of friends out there.

  • And we're going to get some clues, Zach.

  • And you were going to have to guess these video clues

  • who your mystery friend is.

  • - Okay.

  • - You ready? - This is exciting.

  • (upbeat music)

  • - [Deep Voice] Zachary Quinto,

  • we've both traveled to similar parts of the world.

  • But not always at the same time.

  • - It's Matt Bomer.

  • - Okay, wait, for the record,

  • you believe that that shadowy figure,

  • that terrorist, I don't know who that was,

  • you claim that is Matt Bomer, the dreamy Matt Bomer?

  • - All right. Let's see clue number two.

  • - [Deep Voice] Zachary Quinto,

  • we've both told an "American Horror Story."

  • - Look, okay, maybe it's Matt Bomer.

  • He did appear on "American Horror Story,"

  • but it could be Lady Gaga.

  • It could be Kathy Bates. We don't know.

  • - Yeah.

  • I'm much closer with Matt Bomer than I am

  • with either Lady Gaga or Kathy Bates.

  • (laughing)

  • - All right.

  • Clue number three. Let's see if you're right.

  • - [Deep Voice] Zachary Quinto,

  • if a stone hits the water

  • and no one is there to see it

  • does it make ripples?

  • Ripples. (Zachary laughing)

  • Ripples. (laughing)

  • - So I have no idea what the fuck

  • Kathy Bates is talking about there.

  • Zach, what is that?

  • Is that Matt Bomer?

  • - Yeah, 1000%. - Let's see if you're right.

  • Let's see if you're right.

  • - Zach, it's Matt.

  • I hope this gave you a really good laugh and I love you

  • and I'll see you soon.

  • - What a lucky guess. - That's hilarious.

  • - Do I need to know something?

  • What the hell is he talking about?

  • - Well, Matt and I have known each other for,

  • I mean over 20 years.

  • (laughing) We've had a lot

  • of permutations of nicknames for one another.

  • (laughing)

  • And my current nickname for Matt is Ripples.

  • Matt's one of my favorite people.

  • That's very sweet of him to have made me laugh

  • as hard as he did.

  • - You ready for another challenge?

  • Another game? - Mm hmm.

  • I got my iced coffee.

  • I'm ready, I've moved on from my orange,

  • to my iced coffee.

  • - You are well caffeinated.

  • I'm gonna name the project you've been in.

  • You tell me the name of the character you were in.

  • I want to see if you know your own career.

  • (upbeat music)

  • - Feel confident? - I should feel confident,

  • but suddenly I don't. - "Touched By An Angel."

  • Who did you play in "Touched By An Angel"?

  • - I was like a construction worker.

  • I got that job on 9/11, 2001.

  • 9/11 happens, we're in like a panic

  • and at like six o'clock that evening,

  • my manager calls and is like, "Well, you got it."

  • (laughing) And I was like,

  • What are you talking about?

  • She's like, "You booked it.

  • You booked Touched By An Angel."

  • And I was like, "Joan, what?" - Great?

  • - She's like, "You're leaving tonight."

  • I was like, "No, they're not. I'm not.

  • What are you talking about?"

  • My character's name in "Touched By An Angel"

  • was . . . - Mi . . .

  • - Michael, Michael. - Mike Dorin to be precise.

  • - Oh shit. - "That's Life."

  • Who did you play in "That's Life"?

  • - "That's Life."

  • Is that the one with Paul Sorvino?

  • - You tell me. (laughs) - I played,

  • and Ellen Burstyn.

  • - Oh. - Come on,

  • the great Ellen Burstyn and Paul Sorino.

  • I played a school mascot.

  • I played a chicken.

  • - Well, the chicken is credited as being "Sleazy Guy."

  • - Oh my God. Why?

  • - What about "Lizzie McGuire"?

  • You were credited as- - Yeah, the director?

  • - Director, see, that's the one

  • you got. - Yeah, director.

  • These are haunting. These are haunting.

  • - "Six Feet Under"? - Art student.

  • I was credited as a- - Hip student.

  • You were a hip student. - I was hip student, yep.

  • - What about "Charmed"? - Warlock.

  • (laughs)

  • That was like the beta test for like "Heroes," basically.

  • That was like the,

  • it's like the precursor to Sylar.

  • - And, finally "Girls."

  • - Ace. - There you go.

  • That's a legit. - That's easy to remember.

  • That, um, (laughs) that I'm proud of.

  • - I also love that we've been going so long

  • that we're on our second orange.

  • - We're gonna move on to another orange.

  • - Harold is very memorable character you play in

  • "Boys in the Band."

  • Has a very memorable hairstyle

  • and it continues your hair journey throughout your career

  • of interesting hairstyles.

  • - Yeah, it's true.

  • - Which one of your modified looks over the years

  • has affected your own personal life the most?

  • - Yeah, shaving my eyebrows

  • for months on end when I'm doing a "Star Trek" movie

  • is certainly the most intrusive kind of like, you know,

  • burdensome alteration that I need to make,

  • especially when you have eyebrows like this.

  • And it's not even like I shave them all.

  • I shave like that much.

  • So it looks like that.

  • You know, when I walk around like that for five months

  • or whatever it is

  • I always am like, I'm in a movie, what can I tell you?

  • And by now I think people get it, you know?

  • But we'll see.

  • Who knows if I'll ever have to do that again.

  • - It is time to confide in each other secret truths.

  • This, Zach, is Quarantined Confessions.

  • (upbeat music)

  • - My name is actually Zachary Sexto.

  • Quinto is fifth Spanish, sexto is sixth.

  • - My toilet broke six weeks ago.

  • I've been holding everything in ever since.

  • - My publicist told me I was going to be on "Hot Ones,"

  • where the fuck are the wings?

  • - Sometimes I go to Starbucks and say my name is Dave

  • because I'm a goddamn rebel.

  • - My password to everything is Spock1234.

  • Gross. (laughing)

  • - Some would you rather questions for you,

  • some provocative questions. - Love it.

  • - Ready? - Love it, I love it.

  • (upbeat music)

  • - Would you rather have permanent Spock eyebrows

  • or no eyebrows at all?

  • - No eyebrows at all.

  • - Would you rather have dog breath

  • for the rest of your life or never pet a dog again?

  • - (gasps) Oh God.

  • I mean, would I be able to like use tools

  • to control my dog breath?

  • Like, can I brush my teeth?

  • - It's so powerful that no toothpaste can control it.

  • Sorry. - I would never not be able

  • to pet a dog for the rest of my life.

  • So I'm gonna take dog breath for the rest of my life.

  • - Fair enough.

  • We're gonna get the surgeons on it.

  • Would you, I know you like to play banjo.

  • Would you rather have banjos instead of arms

  • or a banjo shaped body?

  • (laughing) - What?

  • I mean I think I would need to have the banjo shaped body

  • because you can't play a banjo with a banjo.

  • - Right, it'd be like clanking against each other.

  • Yeah, yeah. - My banjo there.

  • - Oh, nice.

  • Would you rather legally change your name to Sylar Spock

  • or Frank Phartface?

  • - I mean, I guess I have to say Sylar Spock,

  • but like, that's- - Oh wow.

  • Oh, that's. - You think I'm gonna change

  • my name to Frank Phartface?

  • - Well, Phartface is with a "PH," it's not an "F."

  • - You didn't tell me that. - Yeah, yeah.

  • It's French. (laughing)

  • This is the Dakota Johnson Memorial Question.

  • She posed this to me on previous episode.

  • Would you rather have a mouthful of bees

  • or one bee in your butt?

  • - In your butt or like, just like around your butt,

  • like in your butt crack?

  • - I think it's inside of you.

  • - Inside your butt hole? (laughing)

  • I think I'm gonna see what it feels like

  • to have a bee in my butt.

  • Something tells me it's not gonna last long up there.

  • Do you know what I mean?

  • - Over the years, have you gotten strange kind of,

  • particularly strange requests, given like the sci-fi roles?

  • Like, do you get like the,

  • like oh, I would pay you a million dollars

  • to officiate my wedding as Spock?

  • - I would 100% do that, so please, please bring them.

  • I will do my own hair and makeup.

  • I will go wherever you're getting married.

  • For a million dollars, are you kidding me?

  • What do I have to lose?

  • - It's not even a question it's like,

  • - No! - It's like, uh, yeah.

  • - I should start that business, actually.

  • I should initiate that myself. (laughing)

  • - We have discovered so much about you today.

  • I thought I knew everything there was

  • to know about Zachary Quinto, but now I know

  • that you love bees in your butt

  • and I know that you will perform weddings as Spock