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  • (audience cheers)

  • (Josh laughs)

  • (Rob screams)

  • (upbeat music)

  • - Hey guys, welcome to "Stir Crazy".

  • My guest today loves football, comedy and Zoom talk shows.

  • Hey, I'm decent at at least one of those things.

  • It's Rob Riggle. - Hello.

  • - Is that a football in your pants,

  • or are you just happy to see me today, sir?

  • - Hey oh!

  • It's a football in my pants, actually.

  • I put a football in my pants.

  • - So there is, apparently, this team

  • called the Kansas City Chiefs,

  • and they're going to the Super Bowl.

  • Have you heard about this?

  • Have you gotten notifications?

  • - I've been made aware of it through my Google Alerts,

  • that there is the football club

  • from Kansas City to going to the Super Bowl.

  • Obviously, I grew up in Kansas City.

  • So I'm a huge Kansas City Chiefs fan.

  • So these are the greatest days of my life.

  • - Between a one and a birth of your children,

  • like where is this in the happiness meter of Rob Riggle?

  • - A half a percentage point under birth of children.

  • - At least it's below, I'm relieved, but it is that high.

  • - Yeah, I mean, again, half a percentage point, it's close.

  • - The Kansas City Chiefs, your team,

  • has a disproportionate amount

  • of attractive, funny men that like it.

  • It's like an odd, strange...

  • You got the Paul Rudds.

  • You got the John Hamms.

  • He got the Sudeikises.

  • You got the Riggles.

  • What?

  • - The Dave Koechners, the Eric Stonestreets, oh yeah.

  • - It's odd.

  • Are you competitive with them, over like

  • who's the biggest fan in that peer group?

  • Like, are you a bigger Chiefs fan?

  • - No. - No?

  • - No, I think it's pretty well established

  • that I'm the number one fan, but yeah.

  • - [Josh] That seems like...

  • - I don't think it's being contested anymore, is it?

  • What have you heard?

  • - No, I mean, I would have to get them on.

  • I don't have their direct lines.

  • - Well, it's weird that you would even bring it up.

  • 'Cause I thought it was understood.

  • - No, no I guess I didn't do

  • enough research to realize that it was...

  • - But you obviously heard something.

  • You heard like someone's challenging-

  • - You actually seem really defensive all of a sudden.

  • You've changed like the way you...

  • - Hey, no, no, you brought it up.

  • I just wanna be real clear.

  • - Okay, for the record, in Rob Riggle's mind,

  • he's the number one fan.

  • And maybe that's true, maybe it's not, I guess is what...

  • What, what is that?

  • Number one, that's- - Number one.

  • - Okay, okay, whatever gets you to bed at night.

  • How far would you go for the love of this team?

  • Like, would you kill a dude to earn Pat Mahomes' respect?

  • You're taking way too long on this.

  • There was an obvious answer,

  • and you're failing miserably right now.

  • - Oh, I'm sorry, you're right.

  • The answer's yes, sorry.

  • - Okay, good to know (laughs).

  • - When I think of football,

  • I think of the touchdown celebrations.

  • I know they're a little bit muted in recent years.

  • You're not allowed to kinda go crazy after a touchdown.

  • But I wanna celebrate what those dances,

  • what those celebrations are all about.

  • I have a challenge for you.

  • I'm gonna give you a name of a touchdown celebration.

  • You show me in as much detail as you want

  • how this celebration would go in your brain.

  • (upbeat music)

  • Okay, this is the touchdown celebration

  • known as the Riggle Wiggle, what happens?

  • - It's a...

  • You gotta almost...

  • It's like machine gun shoulders.

  • - It's like, am I looking

  • at Shakira or Rob Riggle right now?

  • I don't know.

  • Okay, we call this one the Enthusiastic Librarian.

  • What happens?

  • (Josh laughs)

  • - It's a lot of, but they do that.

  • You see players doing that to shush the crowd

  • when they're at the other person's stadium.

  • So that would be it.

  • I would just walk on shushing everybody.

  • But first you gotta be going through the pages.

  • (Josh laughs)

  • - Finally, this is my favorite.

  • This is a new touchdown celebration

  • we call the Exploding Penis.

  • (Josh laughs)

  • (Rob screams)

  • - And it goes on for five more minutes, that exact-

  • - Wow, that's a peek

  • into your personal life I never wanted.(laughs)

  • By my count, let's see, I checked IMDB,

  • you've been in 129 projects.

  • I don't know what like debts you have

  • that you're trying to pay off, what's going on.

  • Take a break, buddy, what's going on? (laughs)

  • Is there one line that you get quoted to you?

  • I have a guess, but you tell me,

  • what's the one line you get the most?

  • - People yell "Pal" at me a lot.

  • And I also get "Not up in here."

  • I get, "Not you, fat Jesus" "In the face"

  • those are the ones I get the most.

  • - So when you say something like "In the face"

  • in "Hangover" does it register like,

  • oh, I bet this is gonna haunt me for the rest of my life or?

  • No, you never know.

  • - No, not at all, not at all.

  • That's the thing about,

  • I've been so blessed in the projects that I've done,

  • that they allow me to improvise.

  • But it's a blessing and a curse,

  • because sometimes you just say things,

  • and you don't even think twice about it.

  • You don't even remember you said it

  • until you see in the premiere or whatever.

  • You see it in the film.

  • I did something at the end of "21 Jump Street"

  • where I actually get my ding-a-ling shot off.

  • I think I went down out of cameras,

  • I pick up my my ding-a-ling or whatever,

  • and they're like, no.

  • And Jonah said, "Try to grab it with your mouth"

  • or whatever, so I went out of frame

  • to try to grab something.

  • Got a big reaction from the crew.

  • So next thing I know,

  • they're getting a banana out of crafting.

  • You know, they're putting fake blood on it and stuff,

  • and I got to grab it with my mouth.

  • It comes up and pops out of my mouth.

  • Oh, more laughs.

  • And I'm thinking, this is just to keep our energy up.

  • This is just good hi-jinks and fun.

  • No way the good people at Sony

  • are gonna allow this to be put in

  • the final version of the movie.

  • Well, that's what happens,

  • my friend, sometimes these things...

  • Now that lives on forever.

  • - Do people ask you to recreate

  • the scene for them, with their own junk?

  • - Thank God no, but I do have people come up and say,

  • hey man, you got your dick shot off.

  • I'm like, okay, here we go.

  • (Josh laughs)

  • Next challenge for you.

  • This is a game we love to play.

  • We call this Who Am I?

  • Here's what's gonna happen.

  • You're gonna get a bunch of celebrity names

  • shown to you on the screen.

  • You're gonna have to try to make me guess who you are.

  • (upbeat music)

  • You've got a mohawk, Mr. T.

  • (Rob mumbles)

  • - Kermit the- - You're Kermit the frog?

  • - How does Kermit talk?

  • Does Kermit the frog talk like this?

  • - Yeah, but wait, are you Kermit the Frog?

  • 'Cause that ruins the game, Rob.

  • - Oh no, no, I'm not.

  • - You're not Kermit the frog.

  • You're an acquaintance of Kermit.

  • - Would you like to buy some Allstate?

  • - Wilford Brimley?

  • Are these football players?

  • 'Cause I'm gonna get every one of these wrong if it is.

  • - Yes.

  • - (laughs) Who was that?

  • - Patrick Mahomes.

  • That was Patrick Mahomes.

  • - We've established I don't know anything.

  • Why are we doing this?

  • - Hi SpongeBob, how are you?

  • - Sponge Bob Square Pants.

  • Who's Sponge Bob's friend?

  • Jeff?

  • - Same, name as the last guy.

  • - Patrick, the starfish, Mahomes, the-

  • I got it, really?

  • I'm learning so much today.

  • Oh, you're the queen.

  • You're...

  • - I also throw footballs, what's up?

  • - You're a gentleman, you're Tom Brady.

  • Oh really? - You got it.

  • - Wow, it's like one of three quarterbacks I knew.

  • - That was my Tom Brady handsome face.

  • - All right, it's my turn.

  • Let me have a crack at this.

  • Oh, I'm a funny guy that's in the poster behind you.

  • - Oh, Will Ferrell.

  • - I love Kentucky Fried Chicken and I'm in the military.

  • - Rob Riggle.

  • - (laughs) Well, this guy also fits the bill.

  • He's wears white and he's like old timey and...

  • - Colonel Sanders.

  • - Yeah, there you go.

  • Thank God these aren't football players.

  • Oh, "21 Jump Street" Star, not Jonah Hill, the other guy.

  • - Channing Tatum.

  • - There he is.

  • - I thought we had to do impersonations.

  • That's why I was trying to do the Kermit voice.

  • (Josh laughs)

  • You just described these.

  • Is this Pyramid or is this impersonations charades?

  • What are we doing?

  • - Some really stupid Would You Rather

  • questions for you, Rob, you ready?

  • - Fire away, yes.

  • (upbeat music)

  • - Would you rather have a football-shaped penis or nose?

  • Are you looking at your,

  • what are you doing?

  • Are you looking at it?

  • - I mean, it's oddly shaped.

  • I don't wanna talk about it.

  • I think it's already done, the die is already cast.

  • - I hit upon a sore subject, I didn't realize.

  • Would you rather legally change your name

  • to Patrick Mahomy or Rob Wiggle?

  • - Patrick Mahomy.

  • - That's cool, or is it just,

  • you don't wanna go by the wiggle?

  • - No, I think it's just cool.

  • I think that's what's up, Patrick Mahomy.

  • - Would you rather live

  • locked inside the jumbotron at Arrowhead,

  • or be in a Marine boot camp for six months?

  • - Oh, the jumbotron, no doubt.

  • - (laughs) Is that, you wanna live there,