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  • - Men are in crisis, being too pushy,

  • crying at parks,

  • Alfonso Ribeiro,

  • spending time at Arby's when they're not eating.

  • It's a mess.

  • Thankfully, I'm here to help.

  • Now why am I qualified?

  • Coz I've got a a gender neutral haircut,

  • a popular podcast, and time to kill.

  • I'm still in community college.

  • This is Man Up.

  • (rock music)

  • This week I got a call from Lauren in Culver City,

  • or Lau-ren, as she says it.

  • And she said that her and her man

  • are having some commitment issues,

  • something I know a lot about.

  • I think I do.

  • I don't know if I do,

  • I can't even, fuck,

  • I can't even commit to this.

  • (upbeat music)

  • What's up man? I'm Theo.

  • - Hey, how's it going?

  • - Good, nice to see you today.

  • Lauren, how are you?

  • - Hi, I'm good.

  • How are you?

  • - Very lovely.

  • Thank you guys for meeting me out here.

  • Obviously we arranged to meet you guys out here,

  • by this ledge.

  • Lauren's reached out to me via my podcast,

  • which is about helping men

  • take that (screeches) off the universe

  • and really get that, you know,

  • that male gestation going on inside of our lungs and heart.

  • - So, I called Theo because you

  • bought an engagement ring.

  • - This is true.

  • I did.

  • - A year ago and you've been sitting on it.

  • - Yeah.

  • - You've been mother henning that thing.

  • They call that mother henning.

  • - Do they?

  • Okay.

  • - And, I feel like you thought that

  • you could just buy it and mother hen it,

  • instead of taking that next step to actually propose.

  • Like, you act like you've proposed already.

  • But you haven't.

  • - Well, I wouldn't say I act like I proposed

  • because, I mean, I'm not strutting around

  • you know, talking like I'm--

  • - You act like it's a huge step though.

  • - Well, it was kind of a--

  • - The huge step would actually be proposing.

  • - It was an interim step, you know?

  • - Okay.

  • It shouldn't take a year.

  • - You're probably right about that.

  • - As men we have a lot of invisible hurdles,

  • some of them that you can't even see as women,

  • just coz we have our own blinders on.

  • You know we're the only animal in the kingdom

  • that runs forward at top speed with blinders on.

  • You can't name another animal that can do that,

  • unless it's a blind animal.

  • Buying a wedding ring

  • and not giving it to a girl is,

  • well now you're just a dude that owns a ring,

  • a jewelry boy.

  • Alright so this is streets of?

  • - Rogue, yeah.

  • Streets of Rogue, this is my baby.

  • - And you made this.

  • - Yeah, over the course of four plus years.

  • - Wow.

  • How many levels are on this game.

  • - 15, I'd say.

  • - And so if asking Lauren to marry you is like level 15,

  • what level do you feel like you're on?

  • Honestly.

  • - Probably 14 and three quarters ish.

  • I mean, it's pretty close.

  • But here's the thing,

  • it's been on 14 and three quarters

  • for like a year or two.

  • - Wow, how much sex were you getting

  • before you guys settled down.

  • Do you feel like you got enough sex

  • out there in the world?

  • - I mean, I wasn't the best at dating.

  • I don't think, it wasn't the worst,

  • but, you know, I'm no player, you know?

  • - Yeah, I was good at dating,

  • but I wasn't good at sex.

  • - Oh.

  • - I am the worst at sex.

  • I'm very bad.

  • - Yeah, what do you think the problem is there?

  • - I just get nervous.

  • I'm like one of those,

  • you ever seen those animals that

  • faint when they get nervous, you know?

  • - (laughs) No.

  • What animals are these?

  • - Yeah they're like goats on the internet,

  • and they faint when they get nervous,

  • and that's how I am,

  • like I hold my breath when I'm having sex,

  • and then Ill just kinda faint.

  • - It's a problem.

  • - Yeah, I'm not that good at it.

  • It sounds like he thinks his ding

  • hasn't had enough ling, you know?

  • He hadn't done enough tippy-tappy

  • in that drippy-drappy.

  • (ambient music)

  • You've been sitting on the ring for

  • 2 and a half years, right?

  • - Yeah.

  • - If you're afraid to make that jump,

  • one of the reasons could be

  • because you're worried about,

  • not being able to be single again.

  • - Right.

  • - So I thought I'd give you the environment

  • of what it's like to be single.

  • - Yeah it's not really an environment

  • that I'm familiar with--

  • - That's okay.

  • I don't think anybody is comfortable in it,

  • you know?

  • I think sometimes that's just

  • this idea we have that

  • there's a guy out there

  • that's comfortable in this.

  • Only a shark is comfortable in these waters,

  • you know?

  • It's not that hard.

  • Hey, how's it going?

  • - Oh, hi, sorry.

  • - Sorry I'm gonna wave my hand at you.

  • I'm not a harassment person.

  • - I'm Courtney, nice to meet you.

  • - Theo. Nice to see you.

  • This is my friend Matt.

  • - Hey.

  • - Hi Matt, how are you?

  • - How's it going?

  • - Good.

  • - I have, actually, adult asthma.

  • - Oh no.

  • - Do you have it?

  • - I don't, no.

  • - I thought we might have some of the same

  • issues and diseases.

  • - Oh, no.

  • Have a good night.

  • - Okay, if you see me struggling to breathe,

  • you know what's up.

  • So, I think it went okay.

  • - Yeah, it went alright.

  • It's a little weird.

  • - Yeah. Here's the thing,

  • she hated me before she got here.

  • She'll hate me later.

  • But I conversated, I won right?

  • - Yeah.

  • - So at least if I go home tonight,

  • and masturbate by myself,

  • at least I still have her voice in my ears.

  • - Yeah.

  • - You feel me?

  • - Yeah, I mean, you're still a winner in that sense.

  • - Yes, you gotta take a win where you can get a win, right?

  • - Yeah.

  • - So being single is just about

  • getting little wins.

  • So to have that single vibe,

  • you can go out in here,

  • I want you to meet a couple of girls.

  • - We gonna go together, or?

  • - I'm gonna stay here and hold down the nest,

  • you know?

  • - God, I'm a jar of just,

  • I don't even know.

  • I'm, God, freaking the fuck out right now.

  • - Are you really?

  • - Yeah.

  • - You're fine.

  • Bro, you're big semen, I'm big semen.

  • We were semen look how far we've come.

  • - Semen?

  • - You got this.

  • - Alright.

  • (upbeat music)

  • - Hi.

  • - Hi.

  • - I'm Matt.

  • - Hi, Brie

  • - Good to meet you, Brie.

  • - Jess.

  • - Jess, hey, good to meet you, Matt.

  • - Nice to meet you too.

  • - Hey, so how's it going tonight?

  • - Good, how are you?

  • - Not bad.

  • Can't complain too much.

  • You guys having a girls' night here?

  • - Yeah, we are actually.

  • - I could maybe do that.

  • (women laugh)

  • What's the plans here?

  • - Probably go to Malibu.

  • - The Bu?

  • Okay, that sounds like fun.

  • You guys gonna do like lines of cocaine there

  • and all kinds of crazy crap?

  • - Yeah.

  • - I'm sorry, that's a little forward.

  • I don't mean to like--

  • - I'm sorry we're just like talking,

  • me and my girlfriend.

  • - Yeah.

  • - It's girls night.

  • - Oh, I'm sorry.

  • I don't wanna interrupt you.

  • What kind of girls night are we talking here?

  • - We just haven't seen each other

  • - What do you mean?

  • - I have no idea what I mean.

  • I'm sorry, awesome, okay.

  • - Have a good night.

  • - ALright, you too.

  • (whistles)

  • - Hi. - Hi.

  • - How's it going?

  • - Good. - I'm Matt.

  • - I'm Elaine, nice to meet you.

  • - Good to meet you.

  • - What do you do?

  • - I'm a video game developer.

  • - Oh, cool.

  • Sounds fun.

  • - Yeah.

  • - Sound very smart.

  • - Some people have maybe said that in the past.

  • (Elaine laughs)

  • I guess I'm, yeah, I'm alright.

  • - Do you do well for yourself?

  • Do you make good money?

  • - Yeah, I do alright.

  • My game is doing alright, yeah.

  • - You obviously have like a cool job,

  • it seems like you do well,

  • I'm like really really struck for cash right now.

  • And I could like hardly afford this drink

  • to be honest.

  • Its really embarrassing but like,