Now he and I could never see eye to eye.

Hampton is 5'2" and blind.

I'll spare you the details. Suffice to say, he and I got into a petty disagreement over a measly $1 million.

Now, Hampton was raised poor, so he's always countin' nickels and cents like some Dickensian penny pincher even after he was a billionaire many times over.

That miserable little prick has made it clear that if I don't pay him that million dollars, he's going to come after me with all he's got.

So, I need you boys to deliver this briefcase to him at the DeVille Suites in Jackson Lake, six hours north.

Now this is extremely important to me.

I care about this more than...

Hmm...

- Family? - No, not family.

- Friends? - I'm more of a "Seinfeld" guy.

- Oh, this is so hard. - Yeah.

What is important in life?

The, uh, the power of seduction?

- No. - I kinda care about football because it's the only thing I can talk about with my father.

Gourmet dining?

Oh, I'll give it some more thought.

The point is...

Don't f*** this up.

Okay, but what happens if we do?

Jesus.

Combos? Really, Jake?

Don't judge me. I'm in vacation mode.

Some people cheat on their significant others while they're out of town.

I eat Combos.

I got a Lotto scratcher as well.

Well, there goes $2 you'll never get back.

Wait, what? It's never coming back?

Oh, no! My $2!

Well, if you don't start thinking about these things now, you won't have any money for retirement.

How will I ever be able to retire now?

I'm so worried!

I'll have to work until long after I'm dead!

Oh, uh, no, thanks. We got it.

Oh, no problem, sir.

Have a great stay.

You've got to stay on your toes.

If you're not careful, hotels will bleed you dry.

- I was gonna tip her. - Jesus Christ, man.

The whole point of hotels is to make other people do stuff for you.

It's like being a kid before you realize your parents are human beings and you're destroying their lives.

Here are your keys.

And all I need now is a credit card.

Wait, I thought the room was paid for.

Yes, the card covers you in case of incidentals.

For example, you might incidentally enjoy some of our hotel's top-shelf pornography,

or you might incidentally destroy one of our fine toilets.

We're on vacation. Maybe we'll do both.

Jake, can you give him your credit card?

I drove!

You're gonna be okay, buddy.

Who's my big boy?

- I'm your big boy. - Correct.

Oh, and there's a note here for you from someone named Hampton.

(I've been delayed. I will meet you tomorrow morning at 9:30 sharp in the Business Center. Hampton)

Sweet.

We have the whole night to ourselves.

Hey, where's the luggage? Where's the briefcase?

I got them right here, sir.

You slick f***.

Elevator's this way, gentlemen.

I drove, so you're tipping her.