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We can't pull out all of your trophies.
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- Oh, whoa! I had that. - Is that you?
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Yes. That's me.
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That's just, it was a very different time.
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Wow. That's the coolest picture anybody in our family's ever taken.
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Yeah. Aunt Julia, you look so hot, and I love that outfit.
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She broke all my friends' hearts.
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Mine too.
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I used to steal all of her clothes.
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I mean, how were you always so on-trend?
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She insisted.
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You got your perfect skin from grandma, too.
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Yes. Well, good genes.
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So what the hell happened to me then, huh?
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We'd all like to know that one.
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No, but it's like I always say, eat well, sleep well, take care of your skin.
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What?
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Oh, sorry. I'm reading an article about how to ask out your Subway sandwich artist.
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Oh, I like that for you.
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What's the story with this one?
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Yeah. Wait, where is that from?
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Oh, oh, oh. Okay.
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I was in London.
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- I had just graduated college. - Yes.
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And I was just wandering around.
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I found myself in the Chelsea flower market.
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Come on!
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It says you're not supposed to order chips.
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Jesus.
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Esther, you always get chips.
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Yeah.
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That's my daughter, so back to the photo.
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- Mm-hmm. - I was in the flower market.
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- Uh-huh. - Minding my own business, looking at these beautiful flowers, and I get a tap on my shoulder.
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Gentleman says, "May I take your picture?"
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It turns out he is the famous photographer Richard Avedon.
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- Ahh! - Richard Avedon!
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♪ My mom is so pretty ♪
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♪ Elegant and fine ♪
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♪ Her hair looks perfect ♪
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♪ Like, 100% of the time ♪
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♪ Her features are small and delicate ♪
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♪ She's hotter than your mom, I bet ♪
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♪ But it only makes me sad ♪
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♪ 'Cause I look more like my dad ♪
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♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
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♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
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♪ I've got my dad's eyebrows ♪
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♪ I've got my dad's nose ♪
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♪ I've got my dad's shoulders ♪
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♪ I've got hair on my toes ♪
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- Gross. - Just the big ones.
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♪ My mom's graceful as a swan ♪
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♪ I look like a hobbit with overalls on ♪
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♪ It's bad ♪
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♪ I take after my dad ♪
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♪ She's her father's daughter, daughter ♪
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♪ She's her father's daughter, daughter ♪
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♪ She's her father's daughter, daughter ♪
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♪ She's her father's girl ♪
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♪ I chew with my mouth open ♪
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♪ Whenever I'm eating ♪
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♪ My sideburns are out of control ♪
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♪ And your hairline's receding ♪
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Yeah, I know.
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♪ Her mom's skin is smooth as glass ♪
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♪ But I've got my dad's pores and his weird, flat ass ♪
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♪ It's grim ♪
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♪ I look more like him ♪
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♪ She's her father's daughter, daughter ♪
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♪ She's her father's daughter, daughter ♪
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♪ She's her father's daughter, daughter ♪
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♪ She's her father's girl ♪
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Big forehead.
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Fat calves.
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Bad posture.
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Athlete's foot.
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It's not as if you're unattractive to men.
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You're just a little bit uglier than you should have been.
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- ♪ Ooh ♪ - Thanks, Grandma.
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That helps. It does.
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♪ Should have been a ten ♪
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♪ But she's a seven ♪
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♪ I go out in pajamas ♪
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♪ My mom irons her clothes ♪
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♪ Your dad's got beautiful legs ♪
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♪ But I didn't get those ♪
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What the f***?
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♪ It's sad, but it's the truth ♪
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♪ I look like the daughter with no lines ♪
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♪ From "Fiddler on the Roof" ♪
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♪ And my dad's to blame ♪
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♪ 'Cause we look the same ♪
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♪ We're exactly like one another ♪
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♪ I look like my dad's little brother ♪
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♪ But I'm bad at math and have mood swings ♪
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♪ Like my mom ♪
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Did you like my song?
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God. You need a lot of attention, don't you?