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  • This is how kids are raised in Japan

  • music

  • Are you ready Wolfy?

  • Yeah?

  • Yeah [laughter]

  • So it's been a crazy last five months

  • If you don't already know

  • we just recently released a video

  • of Wolfy and his "Day in the Life"

  • a few weeks ago

  • We will leave links in the description

  • This whole process the last five months

  • has kind of opened our eyes

  • to how Japanese raise their children

  • And we wanted to specifically talk about that in this video

  • Maiko is Japanese

  • I am Filipino-American raised in the States

  • We wanted to share

  • what we're going through here in Japan

  • trying to raise Wolfy

  • You know some of the surprises

  • that we've had along the way,

  • especially surprises for me because Maiko grew up in Japan

  • so she experienced a lot of this,

  • but this is what the stereotypical

  • way to raise a Japanese kid would be

  • But again it doesn't apply to everyone, everyone's different

  • Also, we wanted to know

  • what you guys thought about some of these things

  • that we're going to talk about

  • How it applies to your country, how it relates to your country

  • Maiko: And in this video I decided to join

  • because I did experience being raised in Japan

  • and I have Japanese parents

  • So I just wanted to share my experience with you guys

  • Before we start,

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  • check out the Discord community right here

  • Wanna say hello to everyone before you go?

  • - Hey everyone! - Hey~

  • There you go, he's such a smiley boy

  • Love you! Bye Bye!

  • So this one is kind of crazy

  • Japanese moms spend only 2 hours

  • away from their baby each week

  • Whereas compared to American mothers,

  • they'll spend 24 hours away from their babies

  • Basically there's no time ever

  • where the baby is apart from the mom

  • At least in Japan

  • Why do you think that is?

  • Well in Japan,

  • babysitters are not so common

  • I mean, it's changing nowadays

  • since there's more working mothers

  • But back in the days

  • I think there were no babysitters

  • and people expected mothers to almost "suffer"

  • And to give up everything for the baby,

  • was actually a good thing

  • They value the "suffering" of mothers

  • Paolo: So basically, you're a more respected mother

  • if you are sacrificing for the babies and for the kids

  • That's kind of surprising to us, but times are changing

  • so that's not necessarily the case for some parents these days

  • But it's still one of the mindsets

  • that a lot of the parents have in Japan

  • The next thing was

  • I don't know if it was much of a shocker,

  • but I anticipated it because of the size of our apartment

  • The sleeping arrangements here in Japan

  • and sleeping in the same room with your baby and your child

  • In fact, if you've seen our "Day in a Life" video with Wolfy

  • then you'd know he sleeps in the same room with us

  • Not in the same bed,

  • but he has a crib right next to our bed

  • I think about 88% of kids between 0 and 3 years old

  • sleep in the same room with their parents

  • and about 68-69% of kids sleep in the same bed as their parents

  • But it's common for kids to be in elementary school

  • and still be staying in the same room with their parents

  • or maybe even the same bed

  • until they're like 10 years old or something

  • For me, when I was a kid

  • our house wasn't that big,

  • but since we had 3 kids

  • we used to sleep together in the same room

  • We would call it a "Kawa no Ji"

  • "We sleep like a kawa no ji"

  • means we sleep next to eachother

  • Paolo: So I think one of the differences in Japan

  • is that they don't have beds, but futons Maiko: Oh, that's true

  • Paolo: So you have this bedroom with tatami mats

  • where people lay out their futon mattresses

  • - And it's not just beds lying around-- - That's right

  • like you're in an orphanage

  • Yeah it's on the ground, it's on the floor

  • In our case, we moved

  • My parents built a new house when

  • I was in early elementary school

  • That's when I got my room

  • So I think it really depends on the family

  • for when you get your own room

  • Usually it happens in elementary school or junior high at the latest, I think

  • Paolo: We'll decide as Wolfy gets older he's almost six months now, so we'll see

  • So this one kind of piggybacks off that one

  • It's taking a bath with your parents,

  • especially the opposite sex,

  • and how long they do it here in Japan

  • For example,

  • right now we're just giving him a bath separately

  • But I think at the age of 3-4 months

  • that's when parents start to take baths with their kids,

  • like that young,

  • to soak them in the bath or give them a proper bath together

  • But this continues on and the facts show here,

  • that all the way up until maybe age ten

  • 22% of moms and sons take baths together

  • and when they're 12: 14%

  • all the way to 15 years old with 3%

  • that's 3 out of a 100 kids

  • will take a bath with their mom at 15 years old

  • You'd be shocked as a Japanese as well

  • - I'm pretty shocked - The Japanese as well

  • This was kind of weird, it says

  • for over 20 years old: 6%

  • Maiko: Wow Paolo: Yeah, that's pretty shocking

  • The next one is father and daughter

  • up to 8 years old it says 14%

  • and to 10 years old, 25% still take baths with their dad

  • How old were you when you took a bath with your dad?

  • I actually don't remember, but I remember I felt kind of weird

  • That's one of the things

  • How is it in your country?

  • Let me know in the comments

  • This one is more of a general thing

  • when they're growing up

  • and how to teach them or correct your child

  • when they do something wrong

  • And kind of show them the way

  • In Japan, typically they show a lot more empathy

  • when teaching their children

  • For example, instead of saying

  • "You did something wrong" or "You're gonna get arrested"

  • it's more like,

  • "How is that going to make the other kid feel

  • when you take their toys or you do something", right?

  • - So it's more of a show of empathy - Yeah, exactly

  • How I was brought up, or how my mother taught me when I did something wrong

  • was usually to think of other people's feelings,

  • "He's hurt, you don't want to do that"

  • or let's say I'm screaming and jumping around in a public place,

  • then my mother would be like,

  • "Don't bother people"

  • Not only the feelings,

  • but also the idea that you don't want to bother other people

  • We would say "Meiwaku wo kakenai"

  • It's like how it's gonna make other's feel

  • You don't wanna disturb harmony,

  • you don't want to disturb the peace, or everyone's quiet

  • Yeah, always think about others

  • "Life theme" of Japan

  • Paolo: It's not like

  • "Oh you're gonna get arrested" or "You're breaking the rules"

  • Maiko: No, you should never say that

  • Paolo: I think it's great to be able to get along with the group,

  • but then at the same time,

  • as someone always trying to get along with the group

  • you kind of lose your opinions and your thoughts

  • And you don't actually think on your own

  • You're always thinking, "What does the group want or think"

  • Maybe we have a bit of a mix in there so that our son

  • considers the group and is empathetic and wants the best for the group

  • but also his own opinions about things

  • And maybe it'll be okay for him to stick out once in a while

  • Yeah, totally

  • To be honest,

  • I grew up and always having to think about others

  • and having to put other's feelings before what I wanted to do

  • So I never got to do what I wanted

  • You know what I mean?

  • That sucked, so... [laughter]

  • It's like

  • "I feel bad for her so I guess I'm not gonna do that"

  • You know?

  • That will make you lose your personality

  • or lose your identity

  • If that makes sense

  • You won't develop your own uniqueness

  • - Yeah - We'll see

  • Before we continue,

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  • That said, let's continue on with the list

  • Another interesting thing about Japanese culture and raising kids

  • is that discipline is not only from parents,

  • but also from groups

  • meaning that you'll go to school or you'll join clubs

  • and the discipline is shared throughout the community

  • So it's not just from your parents

  • which could be a good or bad thing

  • I guess, maybe in some cultures

  • you know the parents are the ones responsible for the discipline

  • but in Japan it's a shared communal thing

  • Maiko: Yeah, as I grew up I was always in that environment,

  • that I had to follow the rules

  • That applies at school, at clubs, and after-school school

  • So I think if you're in Japan,

  • you're naturally going to be disciplined

  • Paolo: I think what's also interesting

  • is even as a little kid in school,

  • you clean all together

  • I'll be walking by nurseries and see kids wiping down

  • the entrance of the school and wiping down the--

  • - Elementary school? - A nursery or something

  • Maiko: I feel like I started in elementary school

  • But yeah, it's good to learn how to be responsible for your own room

  • Paolo: The kids could barely stand and were wiping

  • So cute [laughter]

  • They were teaching them how to wipe the windows

  • - They're probably not good at cleaning - No, they were terrible at cleaning

  • - They're learning - They're learning

  • So cute

  • They teach them at such a young age

  • To sum it all up,

  • the parents don't have to discipline the child by themselves

  • They have the community, they have the schools,

  • they have the circles, and they have the clubs to help discipline

  • But this one was another surprising thing,