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IT HAS BEEN SO COLD AND WET HERE IN SOUTHERN
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CALIFORNIA, THIS NOT THE DEAL I MADE WHEN I MOVED HERE.
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IT SNOWED IN MALIBU OVER THE WEEKEND.
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PEOPLE WERE LIKE FROZEN SOLID IN THEIR YOGA POSES.
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SNOW IN MALIBU.
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I LIKE IT, IT SOUNDS LIKE A MILEY CYRUS RECORD.
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ONE WOMAN IN MALIBU, DID YOU SEE ONE WOMAN IN MALIBU EVEN WENT
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SLEDDING.
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WHERE DO YOU-- WHERE DO YOU EVEN GET A SLED IN MALIBU?
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DO YOU BUY ONE AND THEN JUST HOLD ON TO IT AND USE IT ONCE
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EVERY 20 YEARS.
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LIKE YOU ARE LAUGHING NOW BUT YOU'LL SEE.
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DO YOU WANT TO LOOK AT SOME HEADLINES, OR JUST TALK ABOUT
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THE SNOW, HEADLINES?
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ABSOLUTE TRIUMPH.
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>> BUT THEY FOG UP ALL THE TIME.
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>> James: THEY FOG UP, ARE THEY REAL OR JUST FOR LIKE
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GUILLERMO.
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>> PURELY FOR WORKS.
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>> James: WELL, IT IS WORKING, I TELL THAT YOU.
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>> THANK YOU.
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>> James: REG, IF YOU GOT SOMETHING UNDER YOUR EYE, NEW
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GLASSES?
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>> WHAT I HAVE GOT IS SOME NICE, THEY'RE NANO TECH EYE PATCHES
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THAT ARE ABLE TO KIND OF BLEND WITH MY SKIN, SUPPOSED TO GIVE
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YOU A BOOST.
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>> James: OKAY, GET IT IS THE IDEA NOT TO USE THEM AND THEN
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TAKE THEM OFF WHEN THE SHOW STARTS.
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>> OFTENTIMES BUT THEY FEEL LIKE THEY'RE NOT EVEN ON ANY MORE SO
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I WILL FORGET.
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(LAUGHTER) SOMETIMES.
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>> James: I DO THOSES EVERY NIGHT, I PUT SOME OF THOSE ON, I
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DO ZEN AND I DO, HAVE YOU SEEN THE INFRARED MASKS, I DO THAT.
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>> WHOA, THAT'S COOL.
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>> James: YEAH, BECAUSE I'M ACTUALLY 63.
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SO NO ONE KNOWS.
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63.
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BECAUSE I'M HOPING, I'M HOPEFUL THAT THIS IS THE YEAR I LOSE
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SOME WEIGHT.
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AND MY WORRY IS IT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME, I WILL LOSE WEIGHT
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AND SUDDENLY I WILL LOOK 46.
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YOU KNOW, I CAN GET AWAY, NO ONE KNOWS, I COULD BE 36, YOU DON'T
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KNOW.
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>> BABYFACE.
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>> James: EXACTLY BUT WHEN THE FAT GOES, I'M LIKE--'S AGE.
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HE LOST ALL THAT WEIGHT BUT UNHERE HE'S LIKE MITCH
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McCONNELL.
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DID YOU SEE THIS, THE COMPANY THAT MAKES DOMINION VOTING
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MACHINES IS SUING RUDY GIULIANI OVER ALL OF THE FALSE ELECTION
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CLAIMS THAT HE MADE.
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AND THEY'RE ASKING FOR $1.3 BILLION.
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YEAH.
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AND IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD.
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THE LAWYER DEFENDING RUDY GIULIANI IS RUDY GIULIANI.
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RUDY'S LIES ON BEHALF OF DONALD TRUMP COULD COST HIM MORE THAN A
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BILLION DOLLARS.
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BUT HEY, AT LEAST HE'LL ALWAYS HAVE HIG DIGNITY.
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1.3-- YOU KNOW WHAT RUDY GIULIANI COULD HAVE BOUGHT WITH
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1.3 BILLION DOLLARS?
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>> WOW, ALL THE NETWORKS!
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>> James: PROBABLY TIME TO GET RID OF THAT BUTTON NOW, ISN'T
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IT, I IMAGINE.
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IT WAS AN OBSCURE REFERENCE EVEN BEFORE CHRISTMAS.
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I THINK WE NEED TO UPDATE, WHAT SHOULD WE REPLACE THAT BUTTON
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WITH, WHAT SHOULD WE DO?
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WHAT SHOULD WE PUT IN THERE.
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WE HAVE LARGE, WHICH IS THIS.
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(APPLAUSE) I THINK THAT IS A KEEPER, WE
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KEEP THAT THROUGHOUT.
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THEN WE'VE GOT THIS.
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OOOOHHH.
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THAT IS ONE OF OUR MANY POLITICAL TAKEOUTS.
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REVERBERATE ACROSS D.C..
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YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
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AND WE DO.
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WHEN WE LAY OUT A ZINGER YOU CAN FEEL IT.
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AND THEN IT'S TWO IN THE MIDDLE.
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BECAUSE WE HAVE ALL THE NETWORKS AND WE'VE ALSO STILL GO.
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>> DA VINCI?
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WHICH AGAIN, YOU CAN KEEP T I THINK IT'S DEAD NOW, I THINK
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IT'S TOASES.
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I THINK IT'S TOAST.
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>> DA VINCI OR ALL THE NETWORKS.
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>> James: BOTH, I THINK WE ARE LOOKING AT TWO REPLACEMENTS.
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>> WHAT ABOUT KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE.
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>> James: NOW THEY HAVE DONE, THEY ARE TOAST, THEY ARE PEOPLE,
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LET'S MOVE ON.
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>> I HEAR YOU.
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>> James: WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU GOT.
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(HORSE NEYING).
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>> THAT'S USEFUL.
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>> James: WHY HAVE YOU GOT THIS?
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WHY DO YOU-- -- WHY HAVE YOU GOT THOSE SOUNDS?
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YOU ARE A PROFESSIONAL DRUMMER.
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WITHIN I JUST HAVE A FEW TRICKS UP MY SLEEVE.
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>> James: SURE, I LIKE THAT.
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YOU KEEP YOUR TRICKS AND DON'T COME CLOSE TO MY TRICKS.
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WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT.
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STEVE, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
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(LAUGHTER).
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>> James: DO YOU KNOW WHAT, GO TO BED, GO TO BED.
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HONESTLY, YOU WON'T FIND ANY OTHER-- DO YOURSELF A FAVOR,
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RIGHT.
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PLEASE, IT'S THE GREATEST GIFT YOU CAN GIVE YOURSELF.
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UNLESS YOU JUST [BLEEP] LOVE HOLDING SO MUCH, GIVE YOURSELF A
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BREAK, TRY AND GET A SOLID SEVEN OR EIGHT HOURS, YOU KNOW, THAT'S
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THE LEVEL.
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JUST LET YOURSELF, JUST THINK TAKE A MEL TONEI-- MELATONIN, DO
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WHATEVER YOU HAVE GOT TO DO.
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THIS IS A WASTE OF YOUR TIME.
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(LAUGHTER) OKAY.
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NOW THIS EVENING HOUSE MANAGERS CARRIED THE ARTICLES OF
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IMPEACHMENT AGAINST DONALD TRUMP OVER TO THE SENATE FOR TRIAL.
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HERE THEY ARE HERE.
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LOOK AT THAT.
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WHO KNEW THAT A PHOTO OF SOMETHING SO EXCITING COULD BE
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SO BORING?
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I KNOW THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A HUGE DEAL AND THERE IS A LOT OF
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TRADITION AND CEREMONY BUT I SAW THE PHOTO AND I HON-- HONESTLY
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CAN'T THEY JUST X OVER A-- CONVICTION IN THE SENATE IS
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STARTING TO LOOK UNLIKE, MORE AND MORE REPUBLICAN SENATORS
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SEEM TO BE RALLYING AROUND THE DEFENSE THAT CONVICTION IS
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UNDUB-- UNNECESSARY BECAUSE TRUMP IS ALREADY OUT OF OFFICE.
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I MEAN SURE, HIS SUPPORTERS WERE LOOKING FOR SOME OF YOU WITH
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TORCHES AND PITCHFORKS BUT COME ON, THAT WAS LIKE THREE WEEKS
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AGO.
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REPUBLICANS SAY THE REASON WHY THERE HAVE BEEN NINE NIGHTMARE
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O ELM STREET MOVIES.
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SO HE IS GONE NOW, THAT WAS AGES AGO, LET'S GET BACK TO THE
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SLUMBER PARTY, SHALL WE?
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(LAUGHTER) I LOVE THEM GOING NO, NO, HE'S
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NOT IN OFFICE ANY MORE, SO WE DON'T NEED TO CON VUCT HIM.
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LIKE SOMEONE BURNING DOWN YOUR HOUSE, WE SHOULD FIND THE PERSON
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WHO DID THIS, THE HOUSE IS GONE NEW, LET IT GO.
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LET'S FOCUS, LET'S FOCUS ON BUILDING A NEW HOUSE.
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OF COURSE YOU OUR U.K. VIEWER NOSE TONIGHT IS BURNS NIGHT, THE
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SCOTTISH SELL BRITISH OF ROBERT BURNS POET, IN HONOR THIS IS
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TRUE A PACKET OF HAGGIS WAS LAUNCHED INTO SPACE.
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DON'T BELIEVE ME, HAVE A LOOK FOR YOURSELF.
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LOOK AT THAT.
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I'M NOT SURE I FOLLOW THE THINKING HERE.
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HOW SHOULD WE CELEBRATE THE LIFE OF A BELOVED 18th CENTURY
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POET.
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SPACE HAGGIS?
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TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH.
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LET'S DO IT.
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IMAGINE BEING IN A SCOTTISH MISSION CONTROL, OKAY, WE'RE
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READY TO LAUNCH.
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RIGHT, HERE WE GO.
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TEN, NINE, DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT, YOU FAT BASTAR.
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>> EIGHT, SEVEN.
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>> I WILL FINISH THIS WITH FIST, IL TELL YOU RIGHT NOW SIX, FIVE,
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[BLEEP] LET'S GO.
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(LAUGHTER) DID EVERYBODY SEE THIS, A TRUCK
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IN SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS, CARRYING MILLIONS OF HONEYBEES FLIPPED
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OVER ON THE INTERSTATE CAUSING LENGTHY DELAYS.
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THE HUGE STORY AROUND SAN ANTONIO.
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THE WHOLE TOWN WAS BUZZING.
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YOU GLAD YOU STAYED UP NOW, AREN'T YOU.
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(LAUGHTER) HOW DID YOU GET A MILLION BEES
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IN A TRUCK.
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NOT A QUICK QUESTION, THIS IS A GENUINE QUESTION.
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>> Reggie: YOU JUST HAVE TO OFFER SOMETHING THAT IS
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INTERESTING FOR THEM TO GO ON A TRIP.
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>> James: OH, YOU-- REALLY.
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>> Reggie: YEAH.
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>> James: I COULD SEE YOU AS A BEEKEEPER.
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>> I LIKE THE FASHION, YEAH, I WOULD LIKE THE FASHION, I DON'T
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KNOW-- YEAH, I LIKE THE FASHION.
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I HAVE NEVER BEEN STUNNING BY A BEE.
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>> James: YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN STUNNING BY A BEE.
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>> KNOCK ON WOOD.
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>> James: ARE YOU PREPARED TO DO IT ON THE SHOW BECAUSE WE
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DON'T HAVE AN ACT 2 ON WEDNESDAY.
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>> Reggie: LET MAY THINK ABOUT THAT.
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>> James: BRING IN THE BEES.
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IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ME THAT IF I AM EVER DRIVING DOWN THE ROAD
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THAT I MIGHT BE DRIVING NEXT TO A TRUCK FULL OF BEES.
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>> Reggie: CRAZY.
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>> James: IT MAKES THE WORLD A TEENY BIT MORE MAGICAL, DOESN'T
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IT?
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I HAVE NEVER BEEN DRIVING THINKING OH LOOK, A TRUCK.
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YOU KNOW WHEN ARE YOU DRIVING OH, TRUCK, WHEN CAN I GET PAST T
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NOW I WILL LOOK AT THAT, A MILLION BEES IN.
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THERE HERE'S A CRAZY STORY OUT OF OKLAHOMA.
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A STATE REPRESENTATIVE HAS INTRODUCED A BILL THAT WOULD
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ESTABLISH A HUNTING SEASON, I'M NOT MAKING THIS UP, A HUNTING
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SEASON FOR BIG FOOT.
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IF IT PASSED AN OFFICIAL BIG FOOT HUNTING SEASON WOULD BE
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CREATED COMPLETE WITH HUNTING FEES AND LICENSES, DO WE NEED A
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LICENSE FOR THIS?
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IF SOMEONE CAPTURES BIG FOOT F THEY DO T IF THEY CAPTURE BIG
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FOOT ARE WE GOING TO BE LIKE WHAT, YOU DIDN'T, OH MY GOD,
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THIS IS AMAZING.
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WOW, YOU JUST, OH, DON'T WANT TO BE A STICK LETTER, DO YOU HAVE A
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LICENSE.
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THE OKLAHOMA LEGISLATURE WILL NOW VOTE ON THE MEASURE, SO FAR
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ONLY ONE STATE REPRESENTATIVE IS ON RECORD AS VOTING NO.
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STILL IT IS BETTER THAN MITCH McCONNELL.