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  • Alright, this should be fun.

  • My next guest has been gently skewering politics for decades

  • with his secret comedy weapon, ragtime piano music.

  • Your parents probably have some of his old records

  • like "The First of July" and "D-C-P-U."

  • Well, earlier today

  • I'm told he performed at the presidential inauguration,

  • please welcome Political Song Parodist Tip Rivers.

  • Hey tip?

  • Hello Conan.

  • Tip Rivers reporting for duty. (chuckles)

  • Hey, I'm speaking of duty,

  • I think we can all agree

  • that something stinks in our country right now.

  • Don't get me started.

  • You are clever.

  • Well, that's exactly why I can't wait to hear

  • your comedic take on the state of politics

  • using the power of old fashioned piano music.

  • Well, I shall do my able best,

  • why don't I begin with a classic presidential tune,

  • with a twist.

  • Okay, this sounds scandalous and fun.

  • Let's hear it.

  • Haha, and the way we go.

  • Hello to the chief

  • We have chosen for the nation

  • Donald J. Trump ascending to his kingly throne

  • Hello to our king who'll incarcerate Joe Biden

  • And give Nobel prizes to king rockin' Roger Stone

  • Long live Donald Trump

  • (Tip chuckles)

  • Wait a minute, I'm sorry,

  • you played that song at President Biden's inauguration?

  • Biden, no, no, no, no.

  • Don't be ridiculous Conan,

  • I would never participate in that farce,

  • We've gotta stop the steal.

  • I performed that song at the inauguration

  • for Donald Trump's rightful second term.

  • No, wait a minute,

  • there was no inauguration for President Trump's second term,

  • that didn't happen.

  • No, yes, yes, there was a small gathering

  • of patriots conducted the ceremony today

  • at 'White House Paint Supplies.'

  • That's a across the street from the Deldor factory.

  • All right. You know it?

  • No, I don't know the Deldor factory

  • and it just sounds sad to me.

  • Oh, it's not sad at all, they throw all of the imperfect

  • and your regular deldors in a large trash bin outside

  • and a lot of them are perfectly fine-

  • Okay Tip, you're missing the point,

  • Tip, Tip, we've talked about this before.

  • We've never talked about the Deldor factory-

  • Not the Deldor factory, we've talked about your career.

  • In the old days your songs were gentle and fun

  • and they were less right wing.

  • I see what you're saying,

  • you wanted a song that isn't quite as triggering

  • for sensitive lips like yourself,

  • is that what you're saying?

  • I dare not melt the snowflake that is Conan O'Brien.

  • Okay, al right, very funny.

  • No, I just liked your old style.

  • All right, let's set all that aside

  • and Conan I'll sing you a fun song just like you like.

  • Conan, are you a fan of history?

  • I am a big history buff.

  • Well, very good.

  • Okay, how about this?

  • A song about our country's revolutionary heroes,

  • you're gonna enjoy this.

  • Take it away.

  • And away we go.

  • The heroes go marching to the top mega, mega

  • The heroes break windows and shove corps, mega, mega

  • The heroes storm the Capitol steps

  • To smear feces on Pelosi's desk

  • And we salute their bravery, hurraa

  • (Tip chuckles)

  • Tip stop it.

  • The people who stormed the Capitol

  • weren't revolutionary war heroes, they were criminals

  • possibly domestic terrorists.

  • Well, Conan you say tomato, I say tomato.

  • No, you can't honor those people with that song.

  • What are you high?

  • As a matter of fact, I am a little high.

  • Yes, it's fair to point that out.

  • I usually sing in a nice tenor

  • but today I seem to be going up into an alto, little joke.

  • That's a little musical joke Conan, but no,

  • I do understand what you're saying,

  • you're accusing me of using drugs

  • but I'm happy to say, Conan, that I'm 100% drug free

  • with the exception of an occasional stool softener

  • and oh, an anti-psychotics that I am required to take

  • as a result of a recent court ruling,

  • but I don't always take it.

  • All right Tip, that's clear that you don't always take it

  • and I'll be honest with you,

  • I was a fan of your old work, now I'm worried about you.

  • I can leave the room, all right.

  • This is not a big truth crowd,

  • you like something that's soft and gentle.

  • Okay, so just let me go out on a high note,

  • I'll play you something I know you'll like.

  • All right, can you do me a favor?

  • Don't sing anything political.

  • You have a political song parrot on the show

  • and you don't wanna hear anything political.

  • Well, after I've heard what you're doing now, no,

  • I don't wanna hear any of that.

  • Well, that's fine, no problem at all.

  • How about this?

  • How about this?

  • Well Conan, Earth Day is right around the corner.

  • Well, no, it's in April,

  • so it's not right around the corner.

  • This'll hold.

  • How about a salute to the planet Earth,

  • which is the only planet we currently live on.

  • That's fair, let's hear that.

  • And away we go. (chuckles)

  • Happy Earth Day to me

  • Happy Earth Day to you

  • Happy earth day to the climate

  • That's controlled by the Jews

  • No, no! Don't get me started-

  • No, no, no, no, no, no, Tip.

  • That is- It's a real problem.

  • That is- We cannot have any one group

  • of people controlling the weather let alone the Jews.

  • Jewish people are not controlling the weather,

  • that's insane Tip, stupid.

  • Conan, the weather controlling machine

  • is in a little compound just outside the Tel Aviv.

  • [Conan] That's okay, no, you know what?

  • You have a- Range, or a windstorm,

  • or any weather you can imagine, that's where it comes from.

  • Yeah, we have a great show tonight ladies and gentlemen,

  • I apologize for the city at Max Greenfield.

  • Don't apologize-

  • Max Greenfield will be joining us-

  • So they can hide when they turn themselves

  • into bats, Conan.

  • They don't, Jewish people don't become bats, you idiot!

  • Of course, yes, of course they do.

  • They do not!

  • (Tip faintly speaking)

  • Max Greenfield will be with us,

  • we'll be right back and I apologize for this moron.

  • I apologize for Conan.

  • No, I apologize for you.

  • You look like a racist Orville C. Redenbacher.

  • What do you mean a racist Orville C. Redenbacher?

  • He was pretty racist.

  • Okay, well that's...

  • Now we've lost a sponsor.

  • Good job.

Alright, this should be fun.

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Political Song Parodist Tip Rivers Claims He Performed At The Inauguration - CONAN on TBS

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    林宜悉 posted on 2021/01/21
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