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Alright, this should be fun.
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My next guest has been gently skewering politics for decades
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with his secret comedy weapon, ragtime piano music.
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Your parents probably have some of his old records
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like "The First of July" and "D-C-P-U."
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Well, earlier today
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I'm told he performed at the presidential inauguration,
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please welcome Political Song Parodist Tip Rivers.
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Hey tip?
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Hello Conan.
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Tip Rivers reporting for duty. (chuckles)
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Hey, I'm speaking of duty,
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I think we can all agree
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that something stinks in our country right now.
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Don't get me started.
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You are clever.
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Well, that's exactly why I can't wait to hear
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your comedic take on the state of politics
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using the power of old fashioned piano music.
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Well, I shall do my able best,
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why don't I begin with a classic presidential tune,
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with a twist.
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Okay, this sounds scandalous and fun.
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Let's hear it.
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Haha, and the way we go.
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♪ Hello to the chief ♪
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♪ We have chosen for the nation ♪
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♪ Donald J. Trump ascending to his kingly throne ♪
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♪ Hello to our king who'll incarcerate Joe Biden ♪
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♪ And give Nobel prizes to king rockin' Roger Stone ♪
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♪ Long live Donald Trump ♪
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(Tip chuckles)
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Wait a minute, I'm sorry,
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you played that song at President Biden's inauguration?
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Biden, no, no, no, no.
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Don't be ridiculous Conan,
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I would never participate in that farce,
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We've gotta stop the steal.
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I performed that song at the inauguration
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for Donald Trump's rightful second term.
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No, wait a minute,
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there was no inauguration for President Trump's second term,
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that didn't happen.
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No, yes, yes, there was a small gathering
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of patriots conducted the ceremony today
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at 'White House Paint Supplies.'
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That's a across the street from the Deldor factory.
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All right. You know it?
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No, I don't know the Deldor factory
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and it just sounds sad to me.
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Oh, it's not sad at all, they throw all of the imperfect
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and your regular deldors in a large trash bin outside
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and a lot of them are perfectly fine-
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Okay Tip, you're missing the point,
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Tip, Tip, we've talked about this before.
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We've never talked about the Deldor factory-
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Not the Deldor factory, we've talked about your career.
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In the old days your songs were gentle and fun
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and they were less right wing.
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I see what you're saying,
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you wanted a song that isn't quite as triggering
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for sensitive lips like yourself,
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is that what you're saying?
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I dare not melt the snowflake that is Conan O'Brien.
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Okay, al right, very funny.
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No, I just liked your old style.
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All right, let's set all that aside
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and Conan I'll sing you a fun song just like you like.
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Conan, are you a fan of history?
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I am a big history buff.
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Well, very good.
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Okay, how about this?
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A song about our country's revolutionary heroes,
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you're gonna enjoy this.
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Take it away.
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And away we go.
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♪ The heroes go marching to the top mega, mega ♪
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♪ The heroes break windows and shove corps, mega, mega ♪
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♪ The heroes storm the Capitol steps ♪
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♪ To smear feces on Pelosi's desk ♪
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♪ And we salute their bravery, hurraa ♪
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(Tip chuckles)
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Tip stop it.
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The people who stormed the Capitol
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weren't revolutionary war heroes, they were criminals
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possibly domestic terrorists.
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Well, Conan you say tomato, I say tomato.
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No, you can't honor those people with that song.
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What are you high?
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As a matter of fact, I am a little high.
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Yes, it's fair to point that out.
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I usually sing in a nice tenor
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but today I seem to be going up into an alto, little joke.
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That's a little musical joke Conan, but no,
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I do understand what you're saying,
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you're accusing me of using drugs
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but I'm happy to say, Conan, that I'm 100% drug free
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with the exception of an occasional stool softener
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and oh, an anti-psychotics that I am required to take
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as a result of a recent court ruling,
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but I don't always take it.
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All right Tip, that's clear that you don't always take it
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and I'll be honest with you,
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I was a fan of your old work, now I'm worried about you.
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I can leave the room, all right.
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This is not a big truth crowd,
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you like something that's soft and gentle.
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Okay, so just let me go out on a high note,
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I'll play you something I know you'll like.
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All right, can you do me a favor?
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Don't sing anything political.
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You have a political song parrot on the show
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and you don't wanna hear anything political.
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Well, after I've heard what you're doing now, no,
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I don't wanna hear any of that.
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Well, that's fine, no problem at all.
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How about this?
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How about this?
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Well Conan, Earth Day is right around the corner.
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Well, no, it's in April,
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so it's not right around the corner.
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This'll hold.
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How about a salute to the planet Earth,
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which is the only planet we currently live on.
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That's fair, let's hear that.
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And away we go. (chuckles)
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♪ Happy Earth Day to me ♪
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♪ Happy Earth Day to you ♪
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♪ Happy earth day to the climate ♪
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♪ That's controlled by the Jews ♪
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No, no! Don't get me started-
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No, no, no, no, no, no, Tip.
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That is- It's a real problem.
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That is- We cannot have any one group
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of people controlling the weather let alone the Jews.
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Jewish people are not controlling the weather,
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that's insane Tip, stupid.
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Conan, the weather controlling machine
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is in a little compound just outside the Tel Aviv.
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[Conan] That's okay, no, you know what?
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You have a- Range, or a windstorm,
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or any weather you can imagine, that's where it comes from.
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Yeah, we have a great show tonight ladies and gentlemen,
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I apologize for the city at Max Greenfield.
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Don't apologize-
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Max Greenfield will be joining us-
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So they can hide when they turn themselves
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into bats, Conan.
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They don't, Jewish people don't become bats, you idiot!
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Of course, yes, of course they do.
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They do not!
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(Tip faintly speaking)
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Max Greenfield will be with us,
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we'll be right back and I apologize for this moron.
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I apologize for Conan.
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No, I apologize for you.
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You look like a racist Orville C. Redenbacher.
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What do you mean a racist Orville C. Redenbacher?
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He was pretty racist.
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Okay, well that's...
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Now we've lost a sponsor.
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Good job.