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  • (light upbeat music)

  • - [Narrator] Hey, Psych2Goers.

  • Welcome back to another video.

  • To start off,

  • we would like to thank you

  • for all the support you've given us.

  • Psych2Go's mission is to make psychology

  • and mental health more accessible to everyone.

  • Now, back to the video.

  • Have you ever put someone down

  • for their appearance or intellect?

  • Emotional abuse is one of

  • the more common forms of abuse

  • that uses behavioral or emotional tactics

  • to gain a sense of control,

  • or to maintain the upper hand in a relationship.

  • It may be subtle and hard to recognize

  • since it often gets swept under the rug

  • as just a part of normal disagreements.

  • Before we begin,

  • we would like to mention

  • that this video is for educational purposes only

  • and is not intended to offend

  • or trigger any of our audiences.

  • This video is created so that

  • anyone who sees themselves in these behaviors

  • can use this information

  • to improve their relationships and lives.

  • With that said,

  • here are seven signs

  • you might be emotionally abusive.

  • Number one, you jokingly insult people.

  • Have you ever made a joke

  • with the intention of hurting the person

  • you're making fun of?

  • While family and friends may enjoy

  • playful banter with each other,

  • teasing and playful put downs

  • can end up crossing the line

  • into emotional abuse

  • when the jokes become aggressive,

  • and used intentionally to send

  • a negative and hurtful message across.

  • This especially applies

  • when you continue teasing the person

  • or brush it off as only a joke,

  • even though they've told you to stop

  • and that your comments have become hurtful.

  • Number two, you dismiss others' feelings.

  • Have you ever purposefully

  • ignored or dismissed how someone felt

  • because you thought they deserved it?

  • Everyday life can sometimes be so hectic,

  • you lose sight of what's happening

  • in other peoples' lives.

  • After all, you can't know

  • how your loved ones are feeling all the time.

  • But not recognizing someone's feelings

  • may become emotionally abusive

  • when you tell them their feelings are wrong,

  • or that they have no right to be so upset.

  • This psychological invalidation

  • of brushing someone's feelings off

  • as irrelevant or dramatic

  • can lead to feelings of rejection,

  • alienation and depression.

  • Number three, you like to embarrass others.

  • Do you bring up someone's embarrassing moments

  • to make them feel guilty or ashamed?

  • Have you ever humiliated someone out of anger

  • or because you feel threatened?

  • It's one thing to laugh about the past moments

  • in a fun and loving way,

  • but this may quickly become emotional abuse

  • when you go out of your way to humiliate them

  • as a way of punishment

  • or a reminder that you are the one

  • in control in your relationship.

  • Humiliating someone in front of people

  • or when they've asked for you to stop

  • can be incredibly damaging

  • for their mental and emotional wellbeing.

  • Number four, you like to push buttons.

  • Did you know that constantly doing and saying things

  • to get others to react

  • is also a form of emotional abuse?

  • Doing unpredictable things

  • to keep the other person on their toes

  • can be a form of emotional abuse.

  • Instead of being spontaneous

  • to do things you both enjoy,

  • you may use this unpredictable tactic

  • to say or do things to purposefully

  • anger and upset them,

  • especially in front of other people.

  • This may include broadcasting

  • a secret they told you in confidence,

  • or making social media posts

  • you know that will trigger them.

  • Number five, you tell people

  • their version of reality is wrong.

  • Have you ever dismissed someone's experience as imagined?

  • Gaslighting is a psychological term

  • for negating someone else's reality

  • and it involves intentional using

  • someone's words, feelings, or actions against them.

  • The goal is to completely discredit anything

  • the other person has to say,

  • so that the abuser can maintain

  • control over the narrative.

  • This may include telling them they are crazy,

  • accusing them of lying,

  • or making decisions for them without their input.

  • Number six, you use your emotions

  • to get people to do what you want.

  • Have you intentionally made someone feel guilty

  • just to get your way?

  • Expressing your emotions can be great

  • for your mental health.

  • Appropriate self-expression

  • facilitates open communication

  • and prevents many resentments.

  • However, unleashing your emotions becomes destructive

  • when you use it to manipulate another person.

  • This may include impulsive shouting or screaming,

  • using threats or ultimatums,

  • blaming them for fights you started,

  • or using information they've

  • told you in confidence against them

  • to maintain control and power.

  • Number seven, you use silence as a weapon.

  • Are you the type who deals with conflict

  • by shutting down

  • and running the other direction?

  • Have you ever used the silent treatment on others

  • to get what you want?

  • Emotional withholding,

  • a form of emotional abuse that involves

  • using affection, validation, love and praise,

  • against someone is a form of emotional abuse

  • that includes what you might know as

  • the silent treatment.

  • Although it's normal for any relationship

  • to go through periods of silence,

  • it may become abusive when you start to use it

  • as a way to punish, control, or manipulate.

  • Withholding affection or positive emotion

  • through the silent treatment

  • is a toxic way to gain

  • the upper hand in any relationship.

  • This also includes talking

  • to everyone about the issue,

  • except the other person involved

  • or wanting the other person

  • to feel bad or guilty.

  • Do you relate to any of the signs mentioned here?

  • If so, what do you plan to do next?

  • Tell us in the comments below.

  • If you find this video insightful,

  • please like and share it with others

  • who may benefit from it.

  • Don't forget to subscribe to Psych2Go

  • and hit the notification bell icon

  • for more psychology content.

  • All the references used

  • are also added in the description box below.

  • Thank you for watching

  • and we'll see you in our next video.

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B1 US emotional abuse abusive silent emotionally relationship

7 Signs You're Emotionally Abusive To Others

  • 14 0
    Peggy Chin posted on 2021/01/21
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