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  • - A decade on the internet

  • has given me the thickest of skins.

  • A decade on the internet has given me the thickest of skins.

  • Oh, wow.

  • Canon's sponsoring today's video?

  • Look at us.

  • Look at us.

  • A decade on the internet has given me the thickest of skin.

  • You're (beep) long (beep) section is (beep) crazy

  • and you can (beep) go (beep) yourself in the (beep) butt.

  • Wow. I have not heard that one before.

  • I'm going to like it, it's very inventive.

  • And I thought I was impervious to being upset

  • about something silly on the worldwide web, but then

  • Hmm, she unfollowed me.

  • So I found out recently that my friend's good friend

  • does not like me.

  • What?!

  • That's crazy.

  • And as you can imagine, I spiraled.

  • You know I'm really used to dealing

  • with the dislike of strangers in my professional life.

  • But this is a friend of a friend.

  • I know her personally.

  • We've hung out several times.

  • I helped her during a particularly rough juncture

  • in her life, but it was made clear

  • there would be no clarification.

  • If you're there, I would love to communicate with you.

  • I open a portal between this world and the next

  • so that your presence

  • and more importantly why you don't like me

  • can be known.

  • Please spirit, communicate with me.

  • (spirit wooshes)

  • Wait, okay. So did I do something wrong?

  • Okay then why did you unfollow me from Instagram?

  • Come on. Why don't you like me?

  • Dude, Come on.

  • It's very colloquial for a ghost.

  • You better believe I spent a full hour therapy session

  • just dissecting why this was driving me crazy.

  • And I was replaying every interaction we'd ever had

  • in my head over and over again.

  • Wondering if I came across a certain way.

  • I pored over our text conversations

  • to see if I could glean any kind of a hint.

  • I could not let it go.

  • And then my therapist, bless her patient heart, said to me

  • - It doesn't matter why she doesn't like you.

  • Not everyone will like us.

  • You know that.

  • But the one question we can ask ourselves

  • when we meet dislike is

  • how much can I tolerate being misunderstood.

  • - The Oracle hath spoken.

  • And since that encounter

  • how much can I tolerate being misunderstood

  • is something that I ask myself all the time.

  • In professional situations.

  • I would like to talk about a raise.

  • Wow, you're being really difficult.

  • Well, I can tolerate you perceiving me like that

  • because I know my value.

  • And awkward social conversations.

  • - I mean, anyone with that many cats

  • is probably crazy and will die single and alone.

  • - Okay. Well, I can tolerate that assumption

  • because I know I have helped cats and cats have helped me

  • and I've made my peace with dying single and alone.

  • Thank you very much.

  • And it turns out we can tolerate a lot of misattunement

  • and it feels so much more empowering

  • to come from a place of knowing yourself well enough

  • that someone's dislike or upset or frustration

  • is something that you can exist in.

  • It doesn't to be fixed or pushed away.

  • It doesn't have to feel like

  • someone's criticizing your character.

  • We can understand that we are going to be misunderstood

  • and operate in a more authentic self-assured way.

  • Of course. I mean, it's always good to reflect

  • on constructive feedback and be introspective

  • about how we can do better, but you know

  • we take each situation as they come

  • and I trust you to make that call in the moment.

  • Speak now or forever hold your peace.

  • (spirit whooshes)

  • Wait, you don't like me because

  • I post really personal stuff online.

  • Well, I can tolerate being misunderstood

  • because that ain't never going to change.

  • I'm Anna Akana.

  • And thank you to the Patreons who supported this video.

  • And thank you to Canon

  • for sponsoring today's episode.

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  • for video content creators and photographers

  • wanting a compact mirrorless design

  • interchangeable lens camera

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  • You too can talk about your trauma online

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  • Learn more in the link below. Bye.

- A decade on the internet

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B1 tolerate beep misunderstood eos canon kit

One question to ask when someone doesn't like you

  • 4 2
    林宜悉 posted on 2021/01/18
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