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  • ♪♪♪ ♪

  • >> Stephen: HEY! WELCOME BACK, EVERYBODY.

  • YOU KNOW, FOLKS, DOING THE SHOW IS A PRIVILEGE.

  • I GET TO TALK TO ALL SORTS OF INTERESTING PEOPLE ABOUT

  • FASCINATING SUBJECTS, SO I LIKE TO STEER CLEAR OF

  • TABLOID RUMORS AND CELEBRITY GOSSIP.

  • BUT DO YOU KNOW WHO I HEAR LOVES CELEBRITY GOSSIP?

  • AUBREY PLAZA.

  • IN FACT, SHE WAS ON MY SHOW LAST MONTHS -- LAST YEAR, ACTUALLY --

  • AND SHE DISHED OUT GOSS SO HOT, WE HAD TO LET IT COOL DOWN FOR

  • FOUR DAYS BEFORE WE COULD SERVE IT.

  • WELL, GOLDILOCKS, TONIGHT IT IS JUST RIGHT.

  • SO GET OUT YOUR PRRIDGE SPOON, YOU KNOW THAT BIG WOODEN ONE!

  • AND CALL IN PAPA BEAR, AND LET'S SLURP IT UP.

  • YOU'VE WORKED WITH HUGE STARS OVER THE YEARS.

  • YOU YOURSELF ARE A HUGE STAR BUT YOU'VE WORKED WITH HUGE STARS

  • OVER THE YEARS AND I'D LIKE TO DO A LITTLE SEGMENT RIGHT NOW IF

  • YOU'RE WILLING TO INDULGE ME AND AMERICA RIGHT NOW --

  • >> YES.

  • >> Stephen: -- A LITTLE GAME WE'RE TAWLG "TEA AT THE PLAZA"

  • WHERE AUBREY PLAZA SPILLS THE TEA ON SOME OF YOUR CO-STARS.

  • SOME OF WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO TELL US, IF YOU'RE WILLING TO GO

  • ALONG WITH US, SOME OF WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO TELL US IS NOT

  • TRUE, OKAY.

  • BUT YOU ARE GOING TO GREASE US WITH SOME SHADE, IF WHAT I SAID

  • MEANS ANYTHING.

  • >> MM-HMM.

  • >> Stephen: LET'S SPILL THE TEA.

  • >> WELL, I GUESS I BETTER GET MY CUP OF TEA.

  • >> Stephen: SHE HAS HER OWN PROPS.

  • TELL US SOMETHING SCANDALOUS ABOUT AMY POEHLER.

  • >> AMY POEHLER -- YOU KNOW WHAT I HEAR ABOUT HER?

  • >> Stephen: WHAT?

  • HE SLEEPS WITH A JUSTIN BIEBER DOLL IN BETWEEN HER LEGS

  • EVERY NIGHT.

  • WHAT A CREEP.

  • >> Stephen: AGAIN, SOME OF THESE ARE NOT TRUE.

  • >> THEY'RE ALL TRUE.

  • >> Stephen: ZAC EPHRON.

  • THE ZAC EPHRON HAS THE SMALLEST TEETH I'VE EVER SEEN.

  • THEY'RE LIKE LITTLE CHICKLETS.

  • IF YOU HAVE TO DO A KISSING SCENE WITH HIM, THEY'LL PROBABLY

  • FALL OUT IN YOUR MOUTH AND DOWN YOUR THROAT.

  • THAT WAS A SHOCKING ONE ABOUT EPHRON.

  • WHAT ABOUT ROBERT DE NIRO.

  • >> OOOH, YOU KNOW WHAT I HEARD ABOUT ROBERT DE NIRO THAT I KNOW

  • IS TRUE?

  • HE LIKES TO DRESS UP LIKE A MAIL MAN AND DELIVER MAIL, AND HE'S

  • NOT QUALIFIED TO DO THAT.

  • HE BETTER STOP THAT, BOB.

  • YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

  • >> Stephen: VICTOR GARBER.

  • VICTOR GARBER, DON'T GET ME STARTED.

  • >> Stephen: I'M AFRAID I HAVE TO.

  • >> VICTOR GARBER LIKES TO GET HIS KNEE PITS MA CADGED.

  • HE WANTS TO GET THEM GREASED UP AND WORKED OUT, AND I DON'T WANT

  • TO KNOW WHY.

  • >> Stephen: FINALLY, THE MUPPETS.

  • >> THE MUPPETS.

  • EVER HEARD OF MISS PIGGY?

  • >> Stephen: YES.

  • EVER SEEN HER TAIL?

  • LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT HER TAIL -- SHE'S HAD WORK DONE

  • ON HER TAIL.

  • OKAY?

  • >> Stephen: WOW.

  • THAT BITCH GETS HER TAIL PLUMPED EVERY TWO MONTHS, SO

  • DON'T YOU BELIEVE WHAT YOU SEE WAGIN' AROUND ON THAT SCREEN.

  • SHE GETTING HER TAIL PLUMPED!

  • >> Stephen: THESE ARE ALSO EXCLUSIVES.

  • AUBREY, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TRUSTING US WITH THIS

  • INFORMATION.

  • >> THANK YOU.

  • ♪♪♪

♪♪♪ ♪

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"Tea At The Plaza" With Aubrey Plaza And Stephen Colbert

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    林宜悉 posted on 2021/01/12
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